I see myself driving to the bridge. I see myself popping some pills and driving. it’s the middle of the night and its pitch black outside. I reach the halfway point in the bridge, I slow down and pull over. I have my backpack neatly prepared on the passenger seat. I leave it there to be found. Inside is my cell phone and my journals. its so clear and I am calm. I exit my car and head to the rail. I climb over take one last breath and fall backwards into the water. These thoughts make me feel free. The urge is getting stronger […]
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Pitch
So I may have stumbled on something very interesting,anger and sorrow seem to have the same effect on others just in a different way. For example a bank robber would use anger as a tool to get what they want. Sorrow people seem to want to comfort you and even when doing it unintentionally or not they will seem to do stuff to reach out to us to get us out of the pitch black pit which we suffer from.
so today is the big day, my 16th birthday. it was great at school. i heard happy birthday from all of my friends, got all of the attention blah blah blah. that’s nice and all but what i would die for right now would be for my mom to tell me. it’s almost 4 oclock and i have yet to hear those 2 words come out of her mouth. this may sound selfish of me to some people. but i am just someone who lives and breathes for my mom to accept me, and to be interested in me. but oh well. i’m looking into […]
You pull me out of your hat
Whenever your down
But when I need you
There’s only darkness around
Wish you’d wave the wand
Every now and then
Maybe just respond
Cuz I could use a friend
But you keep me caged in
Until you have a bad day
Then you cry to me again
“Everything will be okay”
That’s all you wanna hear right?
That your ”cuts” will heal over night
But they’re just scrapes alright
Cuz I ain’t even ate tonight
Cuz you won’t feed me
But I don’t need three
Meals a day, just to say
“Hey, I’m gonna cut the bone today”
And I’m not competing
But your […]
I just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to read this post.
My whole life, I have felt two things: loneliness and the hatred towards myself.
Why do I hate myself?
I am not smart. I am not good looking. I am not talented in anything at all.
I really am useless.
I have classmates telling me, I can’t do anything right; leaving me out of the social life. No matter how hard I tried to fit in, I end up seeing pitch black of nothing, my existence shouldn’t exist in the first place.
I have read a numerous amount of quotes motivating me to never give up, […]
Just a little preface, I am a 26 year old male who works for the biggest telecommunications company in Canada (I cant say who….) as an Install/Repair technician. I am only mentioning this because it will tie together further on.
Well, I had this one REALLY bad day, and I had suicidal thoughts which would not go away. I wanted to die, just like most other days… I have this one way bridge near my house, and I figured it would be good to hang from. It is a one way bridge, and a few people I know would see me there… The bridge is for […]
I remember when I was a little girl - watching Nickalodean, eating junk food and playing video games. Sad and alone because the kids at school bullied me, hated me, and my parents thought I was just being a drama queen when I told them.
Now, here I am. I just finished my Freshman year of high school.
The bullying’s stopped a lot. By no means am I popular, I’m shy and antisocial, but I have a few real friends now who back me up.
But now I smoke pot. I cut myself and am suicidal. I’m secretly bi-sexual and dating my best friend, who’s also suicidal. My dad hates […]
It feels as if there is no light in the distance, just pitch black darkness. I wake up feeling like a failure knowing that my parents keep thinking when am I going to do something with my life and just not hang around being a waste of space.there’s no better way I can put this knowing that it all feels true, to feel there’s no need for me to breath. *sigh* why is it that I still breathe, why is it that everyday I wake and feel the same way. Is that the purpose of my life to feel like a worthless piece of nothingness. […]