I guess I’m just feeling alone and discouraged. I live with my friends and they are all at university, getting there lives together, and then there is me. The people I live with, their parents pay for everything for them, their rent, food, shopping. I have to pay for everything for myself. I may sound like I’m complaining but its very hard to watch your friends get things handed to them when you are struggling. Sometimes I wish I was born into a very rich family with parents who are never around or don’t really care for me. I don’t know what would be worse, […]
Tag:
poor
I wanted to kill myself from puberty onwards. I am now in my 40s. I tried to kill myself 4 times before the age of 20. My life has always been sh*t and I wish my first suicide attempt had succeeded. “A permanent solution to a temporary problem”? I don’t think so. If you have poor mental health it is unlikely to ever get that much better. It will always be there. Plus where I live the government has reduced mental health services due to austerity, as well as benefits for people with mh problems. So I can just survive on the money I get, not live. No relationship, holidays, […]
Is only me
I’m not capable of such kind
But surely I loved you
Your feet to the ground and to the view
Feeling, all that I feel is ultimate agony
Call to me, the poor and agony
You beautifully blow into a black-hole
The Blue Marvel, do not gravitate me farther in time in your fate
Faith, keeping me upside-down in irony
Allah, I call to, Allah
I remember back when I was 19 years old, there was this big “civil rights controversy” that started in Florida where a Muslim woman wanted to have her drivers ID taken while fully covered in a burka, which covered every part of her face accept for her eyes. The far left jumped right on it, and bleed for her. Also Muslims are allowed to pray 5 times a day at work. These are not equal rights, these are special rights given to people who are religiously delusional. I don’t discriminate since I’m an atheist. These are not real rights!
i know someone near and dear to […]
homelessness, chronic unemployment,prison, death, or living with abusive family. bad health (that can be fixed), and a bad life. all because im on only child, im poor, and i spent years in college instead of a job. i had so much to offer the world. doesnt mater anymore, now all that matters is whether there is an afterlife or not. i accept my fate (though i still am fighting for a decent job). oh yes, most black men end up dead or in prison. why do you think that is? i didnt beat the odds. i accept my fate. i hope the afterlife is painless.
Here is the deal, im poor,black, and my future is not bright. I live in a world that many people online may not understand. It is a cruel world where people are homeless, drunks, in poverty, and life is cheap. Those are the lucky ones. The unlucky ones end up in jail or dead. I came from an ok home, i guess. Though,, i went to college, and cant find work. I just want to get good heatlhcare, and a decent job so i can get away from my “family.” I may end up homeless one day, but thats ok. I know that i have […]
i knew it. The only reason that the doctors didnt know what they were talking about was because they were doctors that treat poor people. The really good doctors know what they are talking about, but they require insurance and money. I deal with a caseworker, and she is a very judgemental person. She thinks i cant find a job cause im crazy or something. No, the reason i cant find a job is because i was the only person in my family to go to college, and i didnt realize what to do in college to get a great job. I didnt network and […]
The thing with my look is that it is nerdy but something worse than that. I look fucking retarded that someone could stare at my face and burst out laughing. And it happens. Many times in fact. I get discriminated against SO badly by teachers alot and other people. You can probably say that no, everyone looks beautiful, I think you look okay blah blah. No mine isnt just ugly. I have a severely downward slanting mouth when my face it resting. My eyes are the worst. It is uneven one is upward slanting while the other is upward slanting. I cant even smile properly, […]
My dad,always yells at me,mostly if I have late homework.He tells me “You only think about your self!” Finding me crying,telling me to think about myself!And not to long ago.I was crying I wanna die.My dad was like “I don’t care!(in a whiny baby voice) I’m so poor and I wanna die just because I have to clean!”.My friends and my mother only know why I wanna die.My dear friend,Dorothy, died from a stroke…shortly after my tenth birthday.And she had got me lots of things and I wanted my mom to tell her I said “thank you” she said “no your going to make a […]
I’ve been around watching and reading for three years guess I decided tonight was the night I made an account I don’t really know why maybe because the only person I’ve cared about is on the phone with a asshole that treats her like shit and by the time she gets off the phone shell tell me how much she regrets being intimate and cheating on him with me then again I could be here because I’m a sick puppy as is
I’ma be, and you’ll see
Why don’t you know
I’m my own that wants to be
You put all your claim on me
I am the way that I am
I became
I never asked for anything
But a sick boy
Screaming for a home for his mother
My son in paradise
It’s only ever been me
And my
. . .
Then screw you, then
I’m my own key-master opening to the gate
Damn, Minotaur, that you are
We all fall in our places
Let me bounce, let me bounce
You can come whenever you’re ready
It’s not me, that does not see
Moan at your […]
I go for walks every night at around 11-12 hoping that ill be the next murder victim or poor person in that hit and run you see on the news, i do this because i do want to die but i don’t want the people around me to have to deal with the thought that i committed suicide and there to blame for not making my life better, even though some of them are in fact to blame, I don’t like the thought of moving my problem so i want to die in a way that they know there was nothing they could have done about it […]
I am extremely tired of ptsd. At night I hear malicious whispers that don’t go away. I woke up to the noise from the workman next door here in disability central. There is no sun today. I feel like death, like going away forever. A woman said to stay away from social media if it bothers me, seeing others doing better, she doesn’t grasp that this is a life line for me. Because of the poor sleep I hear his evil voice more often. I’m tired of wondering what this is doing to me physiologically. You know there is no god when you plead with […]
There is nothing good about me.
1) I am bangladeshi and still live in bangladesh.
2) I am autistic.
3) I am 19 which means almost 1/3 of my life is already over (because bangladeshi men usually live 60 years and women 70 years).
4) I am a male and I am inferior to females.
5) I am only 5’4”.
6) I am fugly and brown.
7) My parents are fucking poor, make only about 20k a year.
8) I have no skills because I am autistic and thus I have no job and no money.
9) I am the stupidest human to have ever existed.
10) My head is super small. only 9 inch […]
Still here. Unfortunately. I can’t even find the bravery kill myself and make the world better for everyone around me (and for me).
My cousin hanged himself in 1993, out in Colorado. My other cousin was an alcoholic and flipped his truck in 1997 and offed himself that way. Not on purpose, I think, but how many happy alcoholics do you know? And here sits the other genetic freak of the family, the other poor sucker unfortunate enough to feel. I was 12 when the first one went, 16 when the second one did. They were both in their […]
7 years ago, prior to my last attempt, I, along with 9 others bared witness to an angel ascend- my angel to be precise had been battling Aids for 15 years, and although in constant pain and discomfort he took me under his wing and like a mama bird- he nurtured me, showed me the care my own mother never could.
His poor, old, tired body could take no more and so we all gathered around him at a time he chose and bid him goodbye- he had such a high tolenrance from the hundreds of medications that had kept him alive that now they hindered […]
Sometimes I can’t help but think that depression is such a selfish thing. A logical part in my brain tells me that ‘it’s a chemical imbalance’, but the self-hating part of me tells me I’m a horrible person. I mean, there are starving people out there, people without homes. I have a home (though sometimes I struggle to pay rent) and I don’t usually starve, though I am now. No money to pay bills and pay for food and whatnot. But anyhow, that’s really the extent of my worries. Money and some life decisions I’ve made recently. And I know my poor upbringing doesn’t help […]
Medications number 14 and 15 woooo.
Now taking 100 mg of Lamictal (will be bumping to 200 soon)
and 2 mg of prazosin (1 mg 2x a day)
I cry every single day now 🙂 . My doc dismissed this, and continues to just want to up the dose because I’m still suicidal, Idk what he doesn’t understand about the fact I will never not be suicidal and I will never not think of harming myself daily.
I did find out that I don’t process folic acid right which can screw with my body’s ability to make what controls my mood. Unfortunately I can’t afford the vitamin […]
When I say I hate you it’s because it’s “too soon” to say I love you
by psychoticbip
written by psychoticbip
I tell you I hate you every time I feel like saying I love you. I never want to seem crazy but I feel crazy crazy that once again I have failed feeling too much over a course of months. My father said love was a myth for the fools. How mythical of me to fall in love with a fool. Poor little fool who can’t seem to love me. If only he had the ability to feel what I feel how I feel it we’d be able to prove daddy wrong. So instead I say the second strongest word I feel hate because I […]
“there is a loneliness in this world so great
that you can see it in the slow movement of
the hands of a clock.
people so tired
mutilated
either by love or no love.
people just are not good to each other
one on one.
the rich are not good to the rich
the poor are not good to the poor.
we are afraid.
our educational system tells us
that we can all be
big-ass winners.
it hasn’t told us
about the gutters
or the suicides.
or the terror of one person
aching in one place
alone
untouched
unspoken to
watering a plant.”