I really like clawing at my skin, tearing chunks out of my arms, scratching till i bleed, and it stings. It makes me feel calm, Like im in power, Like i have control over everything.
(sorry if this is triggering to anyone)
Tag:
power
cutting gives you control over an uncontrollable situation, it makes you feel you have power, it satisfies something in you.
For so long, what kept me from doing myself in was the fear. Would I go to Hell assuming that there is one? Or would I simply disappear into nothingness? But perhaps one of my biggest fears was becoming a ghost because being damned for all eternity to stay on this Earth was one of the worst hells I could imagine. This was before I realized I was the Phantasm, of course, already a ghost in this life. Now I am no longer afraid and I have made peace with my fear. I have asked the higher power for forgiveness for my wrongs as well. […]
This is my first time on here. I don’t even know what I am doing. I have suicidal thoughts. I am 40 years old nd feel as though I havn’t amounted to much in this life. I feel like a complete loser. Lost my main source of income a year or so ago. No retirement or savings of any kind. The reason I lost my job is making it very very difficult to get another one. It was my life and passion. I don’t feel that my friends and colleagues listen to me or respect me enough. I am always wrong and whenever I have […]
From a rock to a brick, sand to glass… what would it mean of the mind or for man to turn his sights to being a brick and/or a glass unto himself? To use his every tool, his every object, and ergo; to use his every existence; his time and his mind! Man sees it within his nature or his ancestral talents that he is able to chisel a statue out of a mere rock yet he cannot chisel himself to such perfection and detail? What has him so fooled that he is not able to see the rocks and sands of this earth and […]
People will say “Don’t kill yourself please! You have so much to live for!” As I look around…I don’t have much to live for. In a world that’s feast or famine, war or waste, hate and debate. It never took me long to realize that suffering was life. You’d be lucky to find someone who chooses to stand with you as you struggle and suffer. This life is all about survival, we call it living to sound more appealing. I knew that if I had to go through this alone, I would not make it because my heart could not break it to my mind […]
“Rot; S.O.S. Nebula, To Lugia”
These beats are so deep like you
I am, I forget the next line
I am such dead and it so hurts
Can you be, can you know
The ultimate, the multiple
All in the arcane, so dark
I go to become, the crazy Machamp
Weezing, Muk, and Arbork
Green, can you be a Victreebel
But you are, Bulbasaur
Or are you something else
I want to be a Hitmonlee, headless
Doing my Kung-Fu to the death
Strange, shattered and the feeble
Do I bust a triple
Indeed I go to go die
For me to die from the chain
I need the power, mythical bird
In my rotting blood destroy […]
Star to star in America
Where do I get across
To the gate, the bridge
The light, a far side
I want to catch, are you Psyduck
Such powers, Golduck
The toxin, evolution Weezing
I am vowed celibate, want to find Arbok
I am, the Morlock
Seven years of rotting
Where do I go, in my binary
I seek, only praise for goddess
man…
I’m so sad all the time… all I want to do is cry, it’s gotten so bad that I can’t control the tears anymore..
What’s wrong with me??? I need help.. but how? I tried telling my mom Im depressed.. but I couldn’t.. because she’ll ignore it and tell me to power through my phase.. I guess that’s what they should end off with at my funeral; she powered through
Cant take this anymore.
Im no longer alive, i simpley exist
Cant remember the last time i saw sense in something
Everything just seems like its not worth it
Dont know why i still bother
I simpley just lost my power to feel anything
Im trapped in this hell where everything just seems pointless.
(forgive any gramatical eror. Inglsh is not my first language)
I’m new to this site but I have seen a lot of posts about God. So I guess I’ll throw my two scents in.I’m just sitting here thinking that I should choose my next words carefully. Most of you will not read or care about what I write, so WTF.
Don’t you think it’s strange that every civilization has had some concept of a higher power? A God. Some benevolent being that looks down on all of us? Envoking an element of fear and obideince? Expecting our every whim and though to bend to this end? No matter what religion it might be? Is this not […]
It was the supreme power, matrix or whatever it is called wanted me to suffer. That’s why all those escape routes I could have were brutally eliminated. I am made to loose and suffer. Family is one big cause of this mess but there were other reasons too. No matter how much I try, the supreme power will always derail it. May my life end quickly. Hopefully today. On this auspicious occasion of Ganesh Puja, a religious Hindu festival I want to finish this mess called life.
It’s like being at sea and seeing a hurricane approaching. Same feeling in the pit of your stomach, the awe at the power of the beast called nature.
It sucks when every week becomes another storm to weather. I can’t remember the last time where I wasn’t terrified.
I just want want some relief. How have I sinned to deserve this shit being thrown at me?
Yesterday I was arrested on the GG bridge for a suicide attempt. I was there. I had it. The motivation was there. My leg started to climb up over the railing. Then I saw the police coming. Now this was REALLY it. I could either just use my other leg and take the leap, or go back the other way and let the cops take me into custody. Unfortunately, I’m still here which means I succumbed to the arms of two policeman.
To those who haven’t seen it, the view is incredible. Such a serene feeling knowing that you could take your life right then and […]
Far away from facebook , far away from family , far away from people , far away from reality .. I sit there and cry , with every tear drop I hate him andI hate myself even more .. perhaps because I once gave someone the complete power to destroy me with just words :s
and once he had the chance , he did it .. perhaps I’d cut myself later , or maybe I’ll just end it all … but would that change a thing ? no it won’t .. the pain would only follow me into the other life , and while I keep […]
Hi everyone I don’t know what I’m gonna get out of this post but I only hope it’s good.
I really want to leave this earth I have a power cord and the staircase from my room that I have ready to hang myself from I have a letter ready aswell.
Im way too sensitive for this planet and I can’t handle all of the hatred everywhere not only aimed at me but at everyone. It’s a hell on earth I live in!
I wish I could block out all of the negativity I’ve tried and tried to no avail the only thing I feel will make me […]
Hello,
I am a 30 year guy who had been battling depression and self hatred for many years. As the years have passed I have to work even harder to mask my pain. I may have a college degree but I have been out of work for almost two years, have almost no genuine interest and continue to isolate myself. Oh, I also still live at home and have hate myself for not seeing the necessary steps to venture out on my own. I have no real desire to be in a relationship and find myself retreating when my anxiety levels increase or if no creative […]
Michael the angel but not yet of the arch
A battle and confrontation like black and white
The eternal Morlock, and the last chance
A little north by the water, we will go
One day, for peace and prosperity
The muck by the coastal, I will be alone
Will the Gengar come, or maybe Jynx
One day, will I ever have the power
I miss you Machop, and I need you
Hope you can come, too.
Like cigarette smoke
My world is in a blur.
Gray and dried
Like a cancer that consumed my mind
poisoned and pissed
Anger is my love
Words so venomous
I bet it hurts
¡Danger! There’s no way out
You celebrate all the time that I waste
My bones are breaking under the weight of your success
We can be alone, together
Just know that every smile is a lie
Every Words been a line
Shedblack nights
Without a dawn
Alone behind my own made walls
Save me,Lie too me,Help me home
No more ropes
I’ve run out of power ups
No recharge
If it’s not for the barrel of a […]
You know what I did and you know what I saw. I know your going to leave me high and dry, I saw you telling her. Everyone’s telling you to leave me I know. I’m tired of the name calling, crying ,memories and the attempted exertion of power and control we have with each other. You win! And you are correct, I am nothing and have nothing. I am sorry my loved one, but I cleaned the house for you and did your washing so it won’t be too hard for you. Sorry mum and dad I didn’t want to leave you with this after […]