Like the title says, this is just a rant about my trials and tribulations. I don’t really know if posting my story will be of any use to anyone but I just couldn’t leave this world without anyone knowing about it. I guess someone should know, even if they don’t really know me. But in all honesty I don’t know if anybody really knows the real me. I wear a mask and pretend to be “normal”. So nobody really knows. They’ll probably never find out either because this page doesn’t link to me in any way. But I figured somebody should know my story and […]
Tag:
Psychology
Wow.
I’m reading some of my posts from last year. I can’t believe how much things have changed.
I’ve become more independent and I think I like it… maybe it’s just that I’ve gotten quieter.
I don’t feel as lonely anymore.
And I think I found a new hobby: writing. But I haven’t done it in awhile…
I’m not quite sure where my future will take me, but all I can say is that I hope it’s full of new adventures and meeting new people.
I do know that I want to change things for anyone who are depressed, suicidal, for people who have developed eating disorders or those who self-harm.
Psychology […]
I’m old and my life doesn’t have enough pros to be happy but it doesn’t have enough cons, visible cons, for others to stop shaming me. No matter what I say no one believes me, that and other times I’ll get treated rudely; “kicked while down”
I’ve learn that anytime I tried to explain what is going on, I’ll be painted as “resisting” and “unstable” regardless of how legitimate my words and experience are. Usually I take a deep breath everytime it happens. It doesn’t help my situation, it definetly doesn’t help but only lets me reach this acute solution of few minutes where I regress, […]
My name is Luke, and I want to share my suicide experience with you, for any chance of reading and really making you think about the decisions you are about to make.
Before I begin, remember that I do not know you, and it is your choice and yours only to take your life. It is a natural feeling to feel like this, and don’t let people tell you otherwise…they’re either in a shock state or they’ve missed a dose of their anxiety pills.
Anyways, now to start…
I had just started senior year, I was 17, had the girl of my dreams, was playing in a band, […]
My original post of this was a little harsh, so I posted a better version of it. I’m 25, married and suffering. This is just a glimpse of what my life has been like. At age 4 I was diagnosed with Spinabifida, and then my dad died. I grew up an angry kid. As I got older I got Appendicitis and lost tons of weight. I was down to near 70 pounds when they finally got the appendix out. After months of therapy I finally healed. Everything seemed to get better and so I wanted to start a new life. I got married and moved […]
i grew up with both my parents being psychologists, arguing was usually a nightmare, watching them fight before the divorce was almost worse not that i was ever too broken up about it. What it taught me though was a very good understanding of the mental health system, and more so how to deceive it my entire life, i knew what to say and how to say it, which kept me out of the wards even when i was walking around with massive cuts on my arms. You see the problem with lying though is you distort reality, and thats just what i did and […]
sometimes i just feel like i dont wanna live anymore, due to my family’s financial problem.. its not like we’re super rich,, we’re just so so.. we’re not poor either.. but still eventho i know my parents still can afford my living, i still think tht my brother get more then me (in terms of money), he goes to expensive school but i cant. he travels a lot but i cant. and lot of stuffs.. just this kinda comparison is killing me.. i do love my parents, but i hate them due to this problem.. wtf,, i know like im not as smart as him, […]
Today I went to school as normal, but instead of going to psychology, I had to go to do a chemistry prac I missed out on earlier in the week (worth 25% of my grade). Everything was fine until the teacher (not my usual one) started screaming at everyone. For the first time (in a school environment) my PSTD started to kick in and I started getting flashbacks of when my ex would scream at me before hitting me. I started having an anxiety attack, and before I knew it, everything was blurry and I was on the floor nearly crying. The teacher and assistant […]
Tonight I feel the same way I did last week. Very low and super depressed. I’m depressed everyday but not like this. Everytime I cut and I think why am I continuing in this life when all I ever feel is pain and sorrow and worthlessness? Why do I keep on when I continue to feel this way. How many more times will this happen before I truely decide to try to kill myself again? Will tonight be the last time? I’m so sick of thinking that if I get through tonight it willl get better. Because that psychology doesn’t work since I’m back to […]
Well, most people woud think that I’m stupid, so I dont think it would be a good idea to post my side of the story, because I even told my mom about it but she thinks that I’m crazy or something. Anyway, I been thinking of suicide for a while too. I felt that there was no use of living anymore when I become depressed because of my sins I’ve commited. Well, most of the times I feel that God doesn’t even care for me because of my past sins. I even tried to repent but still feel miserable and embarrassed. Therefore, I feel if […]
So, what happened… Thursday night, I downed a bottle of medicine, because someone three fries short of a happy meal wrote on a website that “liquid is absorbed faster than pills.†So I thought… I die faster, and I fall asleep before I suffer. So much for that idea…
Obviously, my plan didn’t work. I didn’t have to go to the hospital or anything, though. I downed it, and my heart was pounding, to the point that I just knew I was going to die. So I laid down in bed, pulled the covers over my head, turned on Relient K, and tried to go to […]
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