Hey all. Up until 5 days ago, I cut myself every night. I decided I need to stop. It was not helping anymore, and it was becomming a huge problem. or should I say it is a big problem. yeah.. yeah it is. Today I couldnt help myself. I cant cope with reality. I feel like we have no purpose. We are born, we die. There is nothing to live for. Im lost in the universe. Im just afraid of what is and what there could be. And all the shit going on in my life. Moving, parents divorce, alcoholic dad, annoying sisters. no one […]
Tag:
regret
so much has been happening to me. its like a roller coaster ride. but more dangerous. i keep crying and i cant stop. even if i want to. the tears just keep spilling. life is so unfair. why do we have to live by the rules? and not just how we’d like to? our government is corrupt. going to a dr visit cost hundreds of dollars while nothing is done. school cant teach anymore. not enough funding. people lying, stealing, cheating. when did it become like this?? or has it always been this way? maybe it has. and people are either opening their eyes now […]
The burden of days
buy another simply to struggle through
weary hand wants to fold, weary back can not hold
wonders the point when there’s nothing new
Contempt for the ways
digging deeper & knowing it’s wrong
much too far from goal, farther still from the soul
is the horizon to come or already gone
The lament of the loss
thought the walls would deflect the hurt
but it all feels like hell in our out of the shell
even the rose ends up rot in the dirt
Resent for the mirror
failed until nothing else can be known
those aspiring demands turned to ash in my hands
Kill me.
Kill me now, cut deep into my veins and bleed me until there’s nothing left
Nothing of me in this world
This wretched, hard, horrid place
Moving from mishap to mishap
never stopping
never breaking the cycle
I must get free of this cycle
The cycle bound by the chains of mortality
The only way to get out
to break free of my mortality
but the reason to get out?
to make life better.
STOP!
what is this?
this world? full of paradox and irony
the universe seems to cackle at every one of the informed
bringing them down further and further
there […]
I know I haven’t been on here in ages, and there is a very good reason for this. The Love of my life is dead. After un-bearable news, I am forced to believe that there is nothing anymore to truly live for. Yet this festering hate for all living things and happy people is not enough for me to end my life. I don’t expect it to come back on this site, a lot of you have more pressing things and more problematic issues going on in your lives, in which I understand any criticism that you wish to feed me. Long storry short though, […]
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