i have been depressed which is a mild word  in comparison to what i feel for so long i dont remember ever being happy EVER,i hate this life i hate everything about it, i hate my ex i  would love to castrate him and  engulf him on fire then shoot myself, but naw i would rather just end my own pain let him live with his and everything he did to cause all my newest pain, i dont see any reason to exist other than to be miserable and makes those around me miserable and uncomfortable to be around me, people tend to […]
Tag:
Relationship
The only person I love has called me every cruel, harsh and mean name in the book, is that wrong? That’s what lead me here.
Things were actually going ok.  My meds actually worked, it was the “happiest” I’ve been in years.  But of course, like always, it never lasts.  I’ve been feeling kinda low these past few weeks.  I think I need to up the dose on my meds and if it’s like any of the other meds I’ve tried, then eventually it’ll stop working at all.
Then today I felt depressed.  I had to drag myself to class, I had to force myself to pay attention to the lecture and not just fall apart.  I thought it was bad, but then I come home to find out that my […]
I just wrote in here a few time before. I just recently was dealt a huge blow my husband asked for a divorce bc he didnt feel like our relationship was going anywhere positive. I packed all my stuff n he helped and moved back home. It’s been a week, today is my birthday. He didn’t even bother to call or text. I’m hurt. I am so upset. I’m trying to stay positive but the hurt the loneliness its killing me inside. I hate that I miss n want him but I can’t help my feelings. I also hate him for not reaching out to […]
Im actually kinda happy right now which is really really wierd for me haha. Im happy cause im in an amazing relationship with this amazing guy 🙂 hi lifeishorrible <3 haha but at the same time im worried about my great-grandma whose 100 yrs old, ses in the hospital and it doesnt look like shes gonna make it….i guess you cant have happiness without an equal amount of sadness
Lately I have found myself predicting the outcome of every event.  If the outcome is unfavorable then I simply do not want to be a part of it. For instance, if I meet someone, and I know that they will think negatively about me in some light I do not want to get involved with them what so ever.  I feel like my biggest problem is that I know I will eventually become discouraged about every relationship I have, and because of this I am extremely apprehensive about hanging out with people.
What is most troubling about this is I know people are unpredictable.  Therefore I know […]
I hope everything is alright with you (whoever is reading this), or at least I hope things will improve for you at some point in time, hopefully soon.
I’ll try and keep this relatively short so I don’t take up too much of your time if you choose to read this. Also, I’ll understand if I don’t get any comments on this because I know the stuff posted on this website is usually hard to respond to. That and I usually just write random crap that doesn’t really make sense to anyone. This probably won’t flow very well, and for that I apologise. I find it […]
Alright. Never thought I’d post anything here, but after reading a lot of your stories, I feel like sharing mine. Please bear with me.
Where to start? I’m 27, have the best parents in the world, a great brother and a bunch of friends that I could hang out with. I graduated last June, but haven’t looked for a job, I’ve done nothing with my life really. I’ve just been depressed, scared of the outside. The thing is, I always saw it coming all along.
Basically I’m “afraid” of people and what they think of me. The fact that I studied journalism doesn’t make it any easier, […]
I used to be a very happy person. In fact, I was that loud and annoying kid who was always laughing and didn’t care what others thought. I do well in school; I dont really try very hard and I get all A’s. I have friends; they all think I’m the happiest guy alive. At school, I still act happy even now; I don’t want them to know. I have a girlfriend; a beautiful, sexy, funny, silly girlfriend, and I loved and still love her very very much. But on October 1st, 2011, she sent nudies to one of her guy friends. When I found […]
So me and my ex just had this HUGE fucking fight about cutting. (It was a big fight considering I had an anxiety attack) He’s never cut and he didn’t know I did. I felt like it was time to tell him so I did. He flipped shit on me and told me he would kill himself (which he won’t). He said he loves me and wants to be with me. I am the same but I told him I wasn’t going through his shit again. I told him also that if he wanted to be with me again he had to earn a hall of a lot of […]
I think this is my very last post on this site. It’s been very helpful and I believe I’m done with feeling sad or letting what others think effect me. I am longer giving a fuck. And so as this is my final post I want to thank everyone who’s helped me who’s commented on my posts who’s encouraged me to keep moving. You guys are part of the reason I feel the need to get away from this site. I’m no longer suicidal. I’m no longer sad. I longer feel like dying. And I just want to say one thing: you guys don’t want […]
The love of my life lives in Kansas….I live in North Carolina. We have been off and on for almost a year now. We got back together about 2 months ago then he broke up with me. I fell back into cutting and pills. He swore he didn’t like anyone else, it was just the distance. He asked out my best friend 2 days after he told me that. I want to fucking hate him so much….but I can’t. He doesn’t know I know. I promised him I wouldn’t cut or get high…..yet my arm is filled with new scars and my pill bottles are […]
Im 51 and tired of life. My life hasn’t been terribly traumatic although there have been a few things. It hasn’t been averagely successful either. Im shy, have no friends, not really interested in any b/c they’re rarely fulfilling or interesting to me or am I interesting to them. I’ve enjoyed things in life and those things have all gotten very old and tired. I’ve tried many new things along the way…
I am married to my best friend for 25 years and it is the same old boring tired situation. I have a child with disabilities I have given my all to for many years and im […]
So I don’t know why after a year I’m questioning such a “perfect” relationship, but I am. I’ve gone out with my current boyfriend since eighth grade and its been amazing. No arguements. No problems. Nothing wrong. It’s been all smiles, laughter, kisses, hugs,and now that I think of it…its been mainly revolving on our intimatcy. So I think that’s an issue. It’s a huge issue but at the same time I think its ok since were best friends and were “in love’ with one another. But could someone just give me their opinion. I’m not going to break up with my boyfriend since we […]
everythings supposed to be perfect. i have the most amazing boyfriend ever but… i still want to cut and puke. i cant eat normal even though he begs me to. im still depressed. i still want to die. i still feel fucking empty like i dont exist…. WHY? this was supposed to fix everything having my best friend in the whole universe as my boyfriend but somethings wrong. i just wanna starve, cut and die but he wont let me.
i dont know how much longer i can last
Im M/30 live in the Toronto area, grew up I was relatively quiet, I had friends, was popular on the football team. I moved away to a smaller city, I have no friends now, I can’t remember the last time I had sex without money changing hands. I have not been in a relationship in 15 years. The only positive thing in my life is my job, and that is starting to fall apart because of my anxiety, depression, and alcoholism. I can’t remember the last time I hugged someone or had someone outside my family tell me that they loved me.
I can’t keep going […]
where to start?
i’ve wanted to die for as long as i can remember. since at least the age of 10. there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by when i’ve been free of that desire. not one day when, if someone offered to help me end it, i would have refused them.
i’m 40 now. massive depression, anxiety, that kind of stuff. haven’t been able to work in over 10 years, had to move back home. haven’t been able to leave the house on my own in a few years either, and even with support it’s getting harder to go outside.
one sample story…
i’ve had one big […]
To my father, I am nothing more than a mistake: his polar opposite that he doesn’t want to exist. I represent everything that disappoints. His eyes divert whenever I’m around. His attention is short whenever I try to speak. His voice tears down every essence of my being.
Sorry Dad that I couldn’t be the person you could have been proud of as the many peers you compare me with. Sorry that my lack of ability to speak fluent embarrasses you. Sorry that I have insecurities that have ruined our lack of a relationship. Sorry that I’m not like every other normal person.
I’m sorry for just […]
i’m tired of living. i can’t seem to focus on what i have and what i need to do. objectively i should be happy. i have a job, a roof under my head, food to eat and clothes to wear and yet somehow, i feel like something’s missing. i have no passion to live and i can’t help but feel i’ve been left behind in life. i feel i’ve sacrificed the entirety of my existence fitting into a mold i was given that i never even wanted. never had a real connection with anyone, never been in a relationship, nothing. shallow i know… and possibly not even […]
I think I’m drowning myself. I keep pushing myself backward. Every time I shove myself forward four steps, I fall backwards nine. I convince myself to do something and all I see in myself in the mirror is self-hate. I went out to a prayer group tonight, and by the end of the group I was already back to hating on myself. I have no self-esteem. I think I am worth nothing. I don’t want to exist anymore. There are moments when I think that maybe I shouldn’t kill myself, but mostly I just want to end my life. Then I come on SP and […]