100 phenobarbitals (100 mg) + 30 oxazepams ; that ought to do the job right?!
Tag:
right
I can never do anything right in this world. Everything i touch i destroy. Everything i do isnt good enough for anybody. Why cant they see im trying my best to succeed in this world. Mom and brothers think i wont go to college and become someone. I just cant anymore im so stressed and fustrated with myself that i cant do anything right to make anybody proud of me…. im such a screw up sometimes i wish i wasnt born……
but myself. I can pretend like I enjoy this existence again but I am exhausted doing it. I went out with my grandmother yesterday and she bought groceries. She was happy to see that some since of normality has come back. It has not and she acts like she doesn’t notice. I am really the walking dead. Not as clever as I once were. The dark has always been comforting and this is my comfort zone. Suicide project. I am not holding out for miracles, much more logical than that. I am expecting the darkness to come again, My body has gotten adjusted to it […]
3 months ago my fiance committed suicide. My whole world has been torn apart. He was my soul mate. And I miss him so much. I’m going through so much right now and don’t know where to turn. On top of that my daughter walks all over me and I just feel like giving up. She hates me and I just ask myself why am I still here. I have no reason to live on. I was the one who could never understand how a person could kill themselves. But I do now. When your at your lowest and it seems like no one is […]
I guess it is time to make the right thing. To get out of this hopeless life. I might be here or not soon.
I honestly don’t know why I’m writing this… I can’t say that I want to commit suicide… at least not right now. I’m meant to be doing coursework right now so I’ll probably finish that then contemplate taking my own life.
I have a great life. I study, I have a family and friends, but at the same time I’m not good at anything that I study in my course, I loathe and despise the members of my family no matter what they do I can feel a deep poisonous hatred for them. And… I’m not sure if I actually friends… I have people I talk […]
The Break Up
I can see the text now “Ryan we need to talk” that’s how it always starts. This is the 3rd time she’s said this to me. Never has it come to anything but I can see this being it. As of right now my heart is pounding and I am sitting on my bed worrying, shivering, thinking, pleading. Why can’t my heart stop? just stop god damn it. I am 17 and I am truly and excuse my language “fucked” right now I have no friends and I mean that I am not just saying that for sympathy. I have had to repeat […]
I’ll remedy that tomorrow. Not like anyone where I am wants me around anyway.
You know you’re really a failure when you can’t even die right.
Nothings seems to be okay anymore I’m tired of trying to make everyone happy I wish it was easy to be what everyone expects but I don’t know how to try anymore. There’s to much to understand to much to wish went right. How can I smile when all I do is lose every fight.
Hi.
I hate my life. Nothing has any use… whatever I do, It’s never good enough. Life always seems to bite me in the ass. When I think I’m happy and my life finally goes well, it just stabs me 5 times in the back….
I just don’t know what to do with myself…. This is the second time I’ve been thinking of actually killing myself.
I’ve had these thoughts many times before but I’ve only once actually tried to plan something. A few years ago something happened that made me plan out my suicide. I already wrote letters and I was going to order all the things I needed […]
I need someone to talk to right now.
I have pushed away everyone in my life over the last few years; family, friends, significant others…everyone. Why? They don’t understand how I feel inside, how I suffer on a daily basis. They are finding joy in life, so I cast them out and tucked myself away…probably for the best.
Is there such a thing as being to alone? Is there such a thing as a loner finding another loner to be alone with? Does this ever happen? I realize I cannot have a “normal” life with lot’s of family and friends around, but to have just one person, a companion, would make life “normal” for […]
What are your thoughts?
Im still in highschool but im wondering if i should go or not go because its so much money and more time spent in school. And once I graduate Its not that easy to find a job, and I don’t know.
I’m freaking out a bit
I don’t want to go to college but I also don’t want to wake up and hate my life and regret not going to college. I honestly thought about killing myself right after highschool just so I don’t have to deal with my future.
But I know that’s not the way to go its just a thought
Im also not […]
My suicide plan is to get right with God so I can have at least a little chance of making into heaven, then hang myself or Carbon Monoxide poisoning. The latter seems like the least painful way of doing it but it takes a while and sometimes isn’t even done correctly. I’m fact, I don’t even care if it hurts, I’ve suffered so much hurt on this earth that all this will seem like is another pinch. My week of getting right with God starts today. And if I get any shitty comments like “Suicide sends you to hell” you and I will have a […]
The end is approaching, I can feel it. Everything is going against me, creating the only path which is right for me, suicide. By the end of this year hopefully it’ll be over and done with. Noone else is going to get the chance to disappoint me, no plans will be cancelled, no promises broken, no fake smiles aimed in my direction, my heart will ache and break no more. Just brief freedom whilst in the air and then boom. Finally dead and gone.
…never knew/barely knew your extended family?
How many only children here?
Raise your hands, friends.
(Misery loves company, right?)
Welcome to your life
There’s no turning back
Even while we sleep
We will find you
Acting on your best behavior
Turn your back on mother nature
Everybody wants to rule the world
It’s my own design
It’s my own remorse
Help me to decide
Help me make the most
Of freedom and of pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
Everybody wants to rule the world
There’s a room where the light won’t find you
Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down
When they do I’ll be right behind you
So the plan I had created, exactly October 24, 2012 is still in. And I have to say I am really proud of myself. Because on that day I wanted to go home and kill myself. But I told myself, “not yet, because you’re still a kid. What if your life gets better after your graduate.” So I graduated high school that year, and I made a promise that I will try to community college and then transfer to University, so experience life a little. I decided to let myself try at least one semester in university, away from my parents and family. And try […]
I’m a 15 year old female and I can’t do this anymore. I’ve destroyed everyone’s life. I’ve bullied others and I’ve done selfish and terrible things. I hate who I am. I don’t wish to live on this earth any longer. My family has been torn apart recently and I can’t take anymore of who I am or the twisted ness of where I came from. I’m going to kill myself. I feel like there is nothing left.
Whenever my boyfriend doesn’t text me back because of his internet I get depressed really easy. It’s been a day and a few hours since the last time I spoke with him. He told me if I ever felt the need to cut myself again to message him. I did and he never answered back because of his internet. So I broke my promise again and I cut myself for the first time in 2 weeks. I miss him so much, I’m in love with him. I don’t want to loose him, I don’t want him running off because of me. I know I’m annoying, […]