Philosophically, I’m lower than the lowest low. My mind isn’t here anymore, I’m the most dangerous human being alive because even I don’t know what I’m going to do next. Every constructive, fruitful, positive outlook on life I have is crushed underneath the weight, the sheer gravity of our waking reality. This moment, is all there is. Time is meaningless, as is mathematics. These are nothing more than arbitrary measurements we use to quantify absolutely nothing, fleeting happiness in incoherent vortex of human brutality. Yeah, yeah get a goal, get motivated, work hard, work until your hands and calloused and bleeding, that’s the real treat, […]
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right
Things are hectic. I have no control anymore. The more I tried to be normal the further away I was. I participated in “normal” activities. Yet I would always end up in the same place.
Crying my eyes out.
Alone.
In the closet.
Blade in my right hand.
Twiddling between my pointer and thumb.
Waiting for relief.
Asking whoever is listening, ‘why’.
Convincing myself not to do it.
Never believing.
Why can’t I be like all the reindeer in the reindeer games?
Red.
This is one of those nights where I feel like ish won’t go right…. I tried to keep telling myself things could be worse. But in reality … If it got any worse I just wouldn’t be able to make it…. Tonight I just wanna cry… But the tears don’t mean anything… Because no one cares… I don’t even care anymore… #FML
gotta wait for my package then after Saturday four days off so shouldn’t have interruptions unless my stupid parents decide to send me to the stupid hospital. then i have to wait a few weeks till my dad goes in vacation I’ll use his garage. I hate ryans stupid dad he took away the one thing I had that ever made me happy and brain washed him and made him crazy. the only thing I have are my cats and I can’t even take care of them because I’m crazy. I’m stuck here all alone because his stupid dad took him from me I have […]
I’m new and like everyone here I have been suicidal and depressed. I feel like I have let a lot of people I care and love down. Seems like all I do is mess up and I feel so alone. I feel as no one cares if I’m around or not. Seems like only time they want me is when they need something or something needs done. I feel like I’m a burden to my family and friends.
I do have a story but I don’t want to get into right yet for I’m not sure if anyone would want to know or talk. It took […]
Lately I’ve had lots of thoughts about cutting…I’ve never done it before. But I’ve know people who have and they say it relieves their pain and makes them feel better.
I guess the only thing stopping me is the pain. (Ironic that I could try to kill myself but not bring myself to slash my wrist lol right?)
i just want some of my pain to go away. I’ve never been 100% positive about suicide so this sounds good idk.
How bad does it hurt?
HUH. so here im letting out my depression in online world man im so messed up. Let me tell u about myself im cooper 17 years old got a sister we are 5 years apart ( shes 22 now) . She got enrolled in college at country side so my family had to move from city to a godforsaken rural area by family i mean my mother ,me and my sister ya i know i dont have a dad he died in some acciedent when i was 1 . well the messed up part is im not sure how he died how does he look […]
somebody kill me please
I’m feeling very alone and very scared of how alone I’m feeling right now. I’m switching between meds and I guess the other havent kicked in yet because I’m a wreck. A large source of my depression is a feeling of responsibility for those around me and feelign like no matter how much I do I can’t do enough, do exactly the right thing, be good enough ect. I just broke up with my boyfriend a week ago because I told him I just couldn’t handl the responsibility or pressures of a relationship right now. He was very understanding at the time but is now […]
Since the end of my childhood I thought obsessively about my death. It became self termination, soon after. I tried to kill myself three times, one OD, going to a cliff to jump (I didn’t, and suffered no injury), and drowning. I wasn’t under long enough to pass out. I’ve held a knife in my hands thinking about burying it in my body multiple times. I think about suicide constantly, but over the years only attempted really once, I suppose. I feel as though I don’t have the right to call myself suicidal. If I’m not that, what am I? If I don’t feel this […]
I’m in such a dark place right now. I hope maybe someone will be able to relate, and tell me I’m not alone. I’ve lost a friendship that was very valuable to me. Heartbreak, despair, despondence… this is my world right now.
Background: depression and suicidal thoughts (and attempts) since childhood; lengthy episodes of near-total isolation as an adult. A suicide attempt in my teens earned me a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder, and I’ve spent nearly 2 decades complying with treatment – medication, intermittent periods of therapy, consistent check-ups.
A couple decades in, and nothing is working. The isolation, depression, loneliness… they’re getting worse all the […]
Why wont it go away. Im so lost right now.. im unhappy inside.. how do u cope with such a feeling? When all u wanna do is lay on the bed n think..
Tonight was the second time in less then a week that I’ve been told depression doesn’t exist and that we all have control of our minds and chose how we want to be… Were just soaking ourselves in tears and sadness because were too “lazy” to get out and try to be happy…………
I’m having a really rough time staying alive right now. Every moment is filled with anxiety and a wish for death.
I’m trying to hold out until my brother is out of jail at the end of the month. But this is getting more difficult by the day.
Does anyone have any tips on how to hang on for just a while longer?
It’s 4.25am and I’ve just came home from an hour long walk, the truth is I was looking to commit suicide tonight and my chosen method was to jump off a high ledge and land in the sea, dying of either shock, head injuiry, drowning or hypothermia or a combination of them all. I live in a seaside town so I thought this would be a very easy thing to accomplish but the highest point in the town where it would be possible to die is fenced off with barb wire. I spent a while looking for a lot of other spots but no where […]
I’ve never been the kind of girl that you would look at and know deep down she wants to kill herself. I got straight A’s, was social and love to perform in front of people. I guess I always have struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts though. To me it has always been a matter of when I would do it. I guess in the back of my mind I have always known that something was wrong with me when I would have to fake laugh with my friends but at any given moment I could have just stopped and been emotionless or when I […]
to be awake right now. or ever. I just want to die without him here:( I have never felt so hopeless in my 24 miserable years on this stupid planet. I want to take benadryl to sleep, but what if he calls me, asks me to come get him…. but who am I kidding I’m meant to be stuck in this stupid apartment all alone forever. I just wish I were never born
You feel lonely and depressed and that one person you count on to understand you tells you: “There you go PRETENDING to be all sad again” and “Fine. If you want to wallow in your miserable self-pitying then be my f*cking guest.” Just no words right now for how pissed and CRUSHED I am. This challenges me more to show him that I AM NOT PRETENDING, I want to prove that to him so bad. I am so tempted to off myself…Has someone undergone something similar? 🙁
It’s beautiful in such a twisted and haunting way, how there are so many people around the world right now; so many sad people… who are all thinking at the same time, and for their own reasons, “I want to die”. And they’re all so alone. And just a tiny handful of them, out of a sea of people, travel to this website. I wish I could hug one of you. That would be something really special.
I hope everyone makes it through tonight/today and smiles at least once.
I hate my body I really don’t know what to do in life I have no talent n I can’t be of any use to anymore we’ll at times that what my stepdad thinks. But I sometimes believe him I wish I wasn’t in so much pyshical pain n to try n get better while waiting I feel so scared n wonder about how am I still here. It’s difficult right now my body feels like a accordion I hope I spelled that right cause certain areas of my body feel either twisted or stretched out why is there hope… but I want to talk […]