I am I the only who is scared that the world might end soon?
All of the signs are literally happening and I think everyone is scared to accept it, including me.
I need to know that I am not the only one seeing this happen right before my eyes…
Everyday is just so gloomy…i think for everybody. I feel like this zombie mode that everyone is in is just “the calming before the storm”
a memory so long ago
possibly the earliest sign of trouble
i was in junior baseball leagueÂ
played left field
a large pickup drove into the park
it swerved left and right
everyone ran with their kid/friend – i didn’t
i stared blankly almost longinglyÂ
it could run me over – Â so what
if i was wanted then  somebody would save me
Baby I miss you. Why did you leave me? There is so much I want to tell you, to talk to you about.  I need you, I dont know what to do without you. My life is a dream now, constantly remembering the time we were together. And you were right, the problem is me…I’m sorry baby.
I am screwing up my life for no reason. I just feel like the way I was living was not getting me anywhere, so I decided to drop college and live my life on the road. But I am so fucking scared. I need someone to do this with me. Because if I continue living this life, in which I have to be always high to get trough a day, I will go mad. My life right now doesn’t make me wanna do better. I don’t need happiness. In fact, I kinda want to be miserable, because I am too scared that I really messed […]
Me and my boyfriend *gasp* i know, i know why is this little ***** complaining about how life hates her, when she has a boyfriend that loves her?
1. I Feel numb, but he gives me some feeling back
2. He makes me smile and laugh, but I’m still not happy
3. He holds me when I’m crying, but I’m always crying
but the sad truth is my internet friends is that I don’t love him; I don’t even know if i like him. I mean he is the nicest guy you could meet, and he’s handsome, but I don’t know how I feel […]
I could seriously just end my life, just like that. Nothing’s stopping me, not even the words of my ”friends &family”. All I see is pain. Give me a break you deluded, sellf-servant prick. If you really believe in the words that you preach, get off your screens and onto the streets! Ahhh Bring Me The Horizon always has the right words… Yet people succeed flawlessly into ignoring people who have the right words. They don’t care about nothing but money anymore and it saddens me, even scares me. This world is a waste, humans have destroyed it, well most of it. There are still […]
I really don’t know what to do I am
in a such a bad way mentally right everything is getting on top of me and I cannot cope with anymore shit. Every time I am in one of these low moods my parents blame and tell me to get over it, my grandma fellas to constantly pull myself together, my friend keeps telling me to call crisis and when i do I get nothing then he suggests I call Rachel or Jenny my cpn and mental health worker. I am in such a bad way right now I feel like actually ending it as as the […]
When you know how hard it is to drag yourself out of bed in the morning, then we can talk.
When you know how hard it is to even keep breathing, when all you want to do is stop, then we can talk.
When you know how hard it is to believe that life will never get better no matter what you do, then we can talk.
But right now, all I hear is noise.
I expected too much, didn’t i? i made my destination too high and then expected myself to reach there too quickly. i despised myself for every shortcoming i encountered. am i not like that youth in thus spoke zarathustra? i often skip steps, and for that no step forgive me. the more my hopes go higher, the more my passions go downward. what do i seek in the heights? i tried to give a word for my seeking, and since i had heard that ‘nirvana’ is the highest achievable thing , i gave it to my seeking. but the truth is that seeking in me […]
I’m 13 years old.
In and out of depression for two and a half years.
Screw it.
I’ve been in hospital for suicide too.
Therapy, DBT…. the works.
I don’t care anymore.
I. Am. DONE.
Time to die?
Yeah…
That sounds about right.
See ya.
Since im living this horrible pain, i certainly could realize how cruel the destiny plays his game.. it goes like that: the right person comes in the right moment into your life, and  everything is disposed for teaching you how inevitable disgraces and mistakes are.. something is clear for me: it is not my fault, but at the same time, it is certainly my fault in a way.. that is the painfullest thing: it is like the miracle of the life, with all his unstoppable suffering.. at the end, you are just naked, looking into your empty hands, with no way to set free your […]
Why cant they just understand, just listen to me and how this feels
You dont have to deal with this so you cant fully understand but can you at least try?
Stop telling me to JUST BE HAPPY
Beacuse i want to be happy on my own without the pills but right now i cant
Just please try to unserstand, please im begging……..
The last memories
He made the excuses
It was his choice; he sent the second message only cause he was going through the same as I was in a way. I just thought he never listened what I had told him. The third message he was right to think of me as a bad guy and after the second message, he stopped caring. The forth message, I confessed, I told him the truth, even though I knew I shouldn’t have. I told him a lie as well just because i was desperate for the truth from him. He never told me anything, I just wanted him to […]
At school I could always be myself
And I could do that without being hated
Without being critiqued
And just accepted into the group of my friends
Unlike my world at my house
At my house I got criticized
I got yelled at for the slightest mistakes
I got hit even though I did nothing wrong
Maybe living here is why they hit me
Anyway I had a world where I could just be me
And not get hated, or hit, or criticized
I wouldn’t have to worry about making mistakes
Because my friends would always forgive me
But now that has drastically changed
One […]
Why do i always make such a mess of everything, best friend yeah she hates my guts right now because of something small i did, , my bf has made me feel im unworthy of love and my parents constantly express their disappointment in me. Everything i try to do i mess up or screws up for me, why should i even bother.
I’m such a fuck up I can’t even kill myself right..
I’ve tried 7 times and I’m still here….
3 of my friends have done it..
Why can’t I?
They say it has to get worse,
Before it can get better.
I say, “how much worse?”
“How long will it take?”
It’s been 6 years.
But here I go again.
Faking this smile.
Hiding the pain.
No one sees through.
No one cares to.
I really need to inflict some sort of SH because I’m really struggling right now. It’s past midnight and my mind is heavy with negativity and darkness.
But the thing is, I haven’t done anything in just under 8 months.
I don’t know what to do.
God, give me strength.
So very alone. So very sick.
I’m running out of hope, and maybe that’s not the worst thing.
I’m sitting on my couch, in my underwear, after binging on food. I’m still binging on food. I feel disgusting and overwhelmed, surrounded by the grime of my house, a house I’m unable to care for no matter what I do.
I don’t know if it’s right for me to write here. What if I trigger someone to go through with their own suicide? It’s difficult to stop obsessively caring.
I don’t know if I can stay alive much longer. I don’t know if it’s right for me to. Some people […]
I am so done
I’m falling, I’m sinning, and I’m scared as crap to repent
because it means facing my sins and making the same promise I keep making and I don’t know why i cant keep my promise to my Heavenly Father
I always plan on killing myself, on hurting myself, and i just want the pain to go away
I just want everything to be okay, just for one day so I can figure out how I can get everything under control in my life.
The only good thing in my life right now is my wonderful girlfriend.
But when my own family […]
im a religious girl i believe in God but right about now my life is not so easy my dads away and he was the only person that i felt good with i only see him once a year and i rarely talk to him on the phone my mom… my mom is harsh on me and i understand why but i just can’t take it anymore im sixteen but she treats me like im three i have no social life outside of school and social medias my friends and she’s so mean when ever she has a problem with someone else or something im […]
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