My names Logan. I’m a sophmore in high school and i just dont want to live anymore. I cant take life anymore. A few months ago is when it started when I got my license and my friend wrecked my car. He was my drug dealer, and don’t take me wrong, i’m no “druggie”, i just occasionally smoked marijuana to help with all the stress school gives me. He ran and fled the scene and found out he didn’t have a license. All I hear at school is how big of a fuck up i am for it, and people who just harass me for […]
Tag:
save me
a memory so long ago
possibly the earliest sign of trouble
i was in junior baseball leagueÂ
played left field
a large pickup drove into the park
it swerved left and right
everyone ran with their kid/friend – i didn’t
i stared blankly almost longinglyÂ
it could run me over – Â so what
if i was wanted then  somebody would save me
ill never be able to accept love , i just don’t see how it is possible.I have done so much wrong. He shows me more love than anyone in my entire life ever has and yet all i can think about is jumping off that cliff or slicing my wrists and watching all the pain end, but i know that no matter how much i wish for that I could never be that selfish…..never! Â I have more than so many people in this world so please tell me why i wish of this every night, tell me why that when Someone I finally actually likes […]
I’ve ruined everything. I destroyed all that I loved.
I’ve come to believe that I made everyone hate me.
Nothing can save me, because they wouldn’t if they could.
I made friends worry for me over my mistakes, it destroys me, and I know this is my fault.
I make my own family want me to leave, at only the age of 13.
They won’t admit it, but i know it. As everyone says, “actions speak louder than words.” and their actions show how much of a dissapointment.
But I cannot do it.
They will think it is their fault.
And that only will make […]
I’m finally going to do it.
I’m getting out.
Away.
Away from here.
Nobody will be able to save me in 40 seconds.
Now I’m counting down the days to when I’ll slit my wrists and walk into the light.
I feel at peace.
This was a test that I just couldn’t succeed in.
Maybe death is my thing, my purpose.
I’m sorry everybody if it sounds like I’ve given up.
I haven’t. I’ve just said yes to fate.
catch a falling star and put it in your pocket… save it for a rainy day…
I was always told this.. and through my life I have had plenty of falling stars to catch…
but now it seems like my rainy days are over powering my stars.. im getting thoughts in my head, feelings that I cant be free of, images that haunt me.
I just need something to save me from myself.
As bad as I want to die I haven’t given in yet. I’m trying really hard to make it through the next 8 weeks until my trip, it’s the only thing might save me. I want to wait until after it to make my final decision. I’m trying and fighting, even though it’s causing me unbearable pain in the process.
I might not get through the 8 weeks though, I’m barely getting through the days. I quit my job so I just sleep my days away and drink at night, but thankfully I got my Ambien prescription filled today so maybe I can sleep at night. […]
I have cheated on my ex drunk four times.
Yet, I feel I love him i feel like he’s the only one who cares.. but I was bad and I don’t know how to fix what I’ve done. I feel like he could save me from myself but, I’m too proud to ever tell him I’m going to kill myself.
he broke up with me a few weeks ago, I got a new boyfriend 5 days later, to make him jealous, for obvious reasons it looked like I was just a psycho. And that I really didn’t care. If  I really loved him I prolly wouldn’t have […]
“Final Tango”
Maybe if I pray to the Devil, it will be there for me. Duality.
I wonder if I dance, does it stand next to me, cold.
My guardian angel.
Touching my shadow.
Faces of the people.
Living a world in a lie.
Upside-down, upside-down. Why.
In futility. Trying to decipher.
Here in my abyssal nonsensical throne.
Chained, that is all I can do, and nothing.
There is no “God,” but if there is, it will save me.
Tonight, what happens. When nothing’s left. In this.
The grey. The light. The dark.
Humanity.
The battle. The war, lost.
The archives, stolen.
Evil overtaken.
How many thousands […]
My counselor asks me what I’m going to do when my mother is gone. Â Then I’ll be on my own and I’ll be forced to learn how to be viable outside the womb… haha.
I make hints at my true intentions, but she doesn’t seem to pick up on them. Â All she knows is that it will be tough. Â I told her that there would be nothing, but perhaps I think differently than other people. Â Nothing to me signifies blackness. Â I will neither see nor feel.
It’s the only choice given the circumstances. Â Nobody can spare me from being stuck here the rest of my life. Â So […]
I really thought the bullying had ended…I really did. I thought everyone made mistakes. so why does everyone dwell on that? Tell me I’m nasty…that I’m a whore, slut, and worst..nothing. It’s one thing to call someone a slut or *****…but to tell someone they’re nothing..Sorry I guess you didn’t know I already knew about that. JUST when I was starting to get better. I hadn’t self-harmed in over 2 weeks. I deleted my Instagram, I’m refusing to get on Twitter. Lucky I still get on Facebook, which is only to talk to my dad who doesn’t live with me. Social networks weren’t made to […]
Why should I live? Nothing matters. Sure, I have “friends” but they don’t care. I have music, but it can’t listen to me. I have him, but he doesn’t listen to my suicidal thoughts. Everybody judges me. I’m alone in a sea of preppy girls and jocks. My one escape is self-harm, but it’s not enough. Cutting just isn’t enough any more. I’m going to die. I know I am. I’m going to be the one to do it. I’m not gonna sit around waiting for “The Grimm Reaper” I’ll become the Reaper and […]
WHO CARES I DON’T UNDERSTAND!
Why do I come to this God damn website searching for a little hope? Why do I do this to myself? Why can’t I just be happy what is the fucking point? Why can’t I just move on with my life. I care. I care so much. But do they care? Do my friends and family really care? Does my boyfriend really care? Or is this some fucking pity thing? HA. My boyfriend. What a wonderful guy. He’s so up fucking beat, and I am so off beat. What is wrong with me? It seems almost as if I can […]
I thought i was doing so great. Love is my poison. Confusion is like a knife. The fact i only have guy friends and every girl i know hates me when i’ve done nothing to them.. it hurts. you feel alone. my first love has become a monster. I just recovered from self harm and suicide a month ago and now im falling again. i want to be strong but i feel like i want to take something burning hot to my arm. possibly attempt to bleed again. i feel like everyone just thinks im completely annoying. i let the simplest things get to me […]
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