I have cheated on my ex drunk four times.
Yet, I feel I love him i feel like he’s the only one who cares.. but I was bad and I don’t know how to fix what I’ve done. I feel like he could save me from myself but, I’m too proud to ever tell him I’m going to kill myself.
he broke up with me a few weeks ago, I got a new boyfriend 5 days later, to make him jealous, for obvious reasons it looked like I was just a psycho. And that I really didn’t care. If  I really loved him I prolly wouldn’t have drank in the first place though… it just helps me escape for a little bit… it wasn’t worth me losing him though..
Now I see him with the girl he was fucking in our open relationship and I just feel something snapping in me… it’s really not good. I don’t like what I’m feeling.
i moved back in with my dad though and he lives in some low life constant drugs and booze place, I don’t know if I’d really want to go there, I get addicted so easily.
But, I feel I need him, I don’t feel like I have a point without him. It’s quite depressing. So nice to just casually type this to a bunch of people who won’t care. Odd.
3 comments
I actually thnk the point of this site is that people here do care, in a way. Where they can’t sympathise they empathise because we all have a pretty major character attribute in common.
I’m certainly not being facetious when I ask: how did you cheat on your ex if you were in an open relationship? I ask because I’m fairly unfamiliar with the arrangement, having never been in one myself. Surely if you have both agreed that each can do what they will sexually then the construct of “cheating” is meaningless.
I suppose that does make sense. A bunch of unhappy people writing their problems on a site. I don’t think any of us really want to die. I keep convincing myself that I don’t. Thing is, I’m planning for April, after I see him, if he will see me.. I hope… I feel better then when I joined this though. Maybe I can do this. I blocked him on everything so I can maybe just pretend it never happened?
And he put us in an open relationship in the beginning, then he decided that he was ready to be with just me. For whatever reason, I couldn’t get over it.. I just felt so worthless to him. But now, it’s too late, and I think he really did care. But he’s back with her and their casual sex. Sex rules his mind.
Sounds like someone you can do without!
It’s good that you’re feeling a bit better. Hopefully more time will allow you more perspective and you’ll be able to keep feeling better 🙂