It sounds stupid, but I have many, many problems. I have ADHD, depression, and anxiety. All three of these things are bad, but when they are together at the same time, they are difficult to live with. My depression has been getting out of hand lately. I have a serious crush on a girl, ever since I was in high school. Her best friends are also my best friends, so I had the guts to tell them that I had strong feelings for this girl. Unfortunately, this girl only thinks of me as a friend. A best friend. She talks to me about her crush. […]
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school
My name is not important.
My story begins at a young age. I have always hated myself. At first, it was the little things. I hated my boring brown hair and yearned to be the beautiful blonde or the vivacious red head. I wished I could be shorter, I despised being a sky scraper among my peers. I wished my legs weren’t so hairy, I wished my hair wouldn’t curl at the ends. But these were minor things. I spent my time as an only child traipsing through the halls of my home while my neglectful parents tended to other things, more important than I. And […]
When I was 16 years old, I was at the peak of a very dark place.
Everything really started when I was twelve. I hated myself, and everybody else hated me, whether it was too my face or behind my back. I allowed people to walk all over me because I wanted to have friends, no matter how little they were actually friendly. Just people I could sit with at lunch, or talk to during class. I hated being alone. I still do. I started cutting a few months after I turned twelve, when I overheard one of my “friends” talking about it with someone else.
I […]
I am a high school senior. I have anticipated this moment since grade school, when my loving parents emphasized how school was my number one priority. It supposedly was supposed to make me get ahead of everyone. But now I’ve realized that’s a lie. I used to be so quiet and focused on schoolwork. Now I don’t shut up in class. I’m funny; I like jokes. I’m terribly blunt and say inappropriate things I immediately regret. My grades are dropping even though I’m trying so hard. My boyfriend insists everyone feels how tough it is this year, and I’m sure they do, but I feel […]
So I honestly believe I probably won’t graduate high school this year. I’ve always had a hard time with school. I just believe even if I manage to pull it off I don’t have a future. There are other reasons why I want to off myself, but this is one of the biggest reasons. I lack motivation, I always have, and I probably always will.
So, I told my doctor that the voices are getting worse, and he told me to tell my psychiatrist. And I did.
What a load of bull.
She refers to the as ‘thoughts’ and ignores them. I’m sorry, but I know the difference between thoughts and voices. These are voices. And she doesn’t even do anything about them.
My mum told her I was crying to her about them, yet she still did nothing about them.
She doesn’t ‘think they’re a worry’.
I can’t even go a day in school without them being there.
I disrupt classes by yelling at them, skip classes because of them, and have had multiple days off.
My therapist forced […]
Performance anxiety… I have a presentation for school coming up, it’s on PTSD and I am comfortable with that topic but I am terrified about speaking in front of my classmates. College sucks, for real. It is not like speaking for work when I do that in public, though that terrifies me as well. I need tips. I have suicide as my out constantly but what the hell! Why should I let a stupid presentation kill me. Shouldn’t something romantic kill me? Anyways, I am really impulsive and I keep envisioning my car racing headlong into a tree the night of this presentation… I am […]
…I feel less and less motivation to do anything. I’ve stopped going to classes, appointments, meetings with friends. The only thing I actually do is go to work. Normally I would proceed as usual because I’m always aware there is a possibility my suicide will fail and I will be left with the consequences of shrugging off my school work and such. But something tells me that this time will work and if it doesn’t…I might finally say “fuck it” and jump off a building even though it could potentially lead me to become a vegetable. How am I going to get my ass back […]
I’m on this site just to put down what’s in my head, because I can never say it out loud. So, I’m probably going to sound really stupid, but whatever. My mom’s really been getting on me about grades lately. I’m an A student, but currently have a B in chemistry and a C in trig, which is a level above my grade. I know she’s just trying to be a good parent, but I just don’t get why it matters. Why does it matter if I have a B and a C? Why would it matter if that prevents me from getting into some […]
I was the most happy child, I grew up in a little village with my mum, dad and big sister. Perfect.
My dad used to get so angry, he was violent with me and my sister. My mum was scared of him, but she’d always try and stop him. My mum was depressed, living in isolation with 2 small children and a husband always down the pub. My sister has autisum, but back then my mum was told she was just being ‘difficult’. Sometimes mum would get angry, her eyes would go red and pop out her head, her face would change, she’d look so […]
Once upon a time ago, there was a little girl that honestly couldn’t have pictured a more perfect life. She was a successful athlete, had friends, a great girlfriend, but apparently that just wasn’t enough to help her survive. Where she grew up, if you were a good athlete you were automatically popular, so she was popular. But she didn’t like feeling superior to others, so she kept the friends she grew up with. However, they weren’t athletic so this girl that once had it made was now getting talked shit on by the whole high school. Why would they spread such harsh things about […]
I’m just honestly sad about school and everything. It honestly sucks that everyone judges you on everything so I basically have no friends. I just want to talk to someone about what I honestly feel because I can never talk to someone about it at school because it spreads. I don’t think I can smile everyday pretending everything is alright
Hey guys,
Basically, my life has been a life of lies. I’ve lied to almost everyone i’ve met. I’ve dissapointed my parents, my school life, and myself. And im getting kicked out tonight. Any advice on how to live? I’m 16, so many opportunities are already out the window. Please help, and thank you.
BTW: I have no money, no car (am using a bike), and I have a netbook (really shitty)that I’m trying to find an online school with.
Hey guys, I’m 16 years old. and I am just trying to leave this house. I’m a disappointment to not only my parents, but my school, my sisters, and my life as well. I just wanted to know, how the hell am I supposed to get by. I’ve been kicked out of my house before, however the most I’ve spent is about 2 weeks outside before they allowed me back in. I just can’t stay here anymore. It not only will hurt them, but it’s eating me inside too. I can’t seem to see a future for myself. I’m flunking out of high school, I’m […]
Fuck. That practically sums up my past 7 years. I’m 16 years old and a junior in high school and I have given up. I’ve always wanted to go out, explore the world. But, there are certain things stopping me. I’m a pathological liar, and I have ruined every opportunity to make peace with my parents. I’m failing (all) my classes, I don’t have any type of extraordinary features, and I don’t believe I am worth saving. I have constantly wanted to commit suicide, but I never had the balls to do it. The couple times I did, I failed horribly. I don’t know if […]
Ever since I was in 7th grade I’ve been feeling suicidal. I’m a 15 year old girl who’s a sophmore now. I feel like I can’t take it anymore I’ve been bullied all of my middle school life even by my english teacher who encouraged my 8th grade classmates to make fun of me. I had moved from that school but the comments and memories won’t go away. People never understand they tell me to get over things when I need to be in a mental hospitoal and get medication. Even the person who was closetest to me(my ex boyfriend from middle school) has left […]
I’ll be honest, I only found this website because of a research paper I’m doing of a local community issue for my university English 111 class. I picked ‘suicide prevention’ as my topic because that was the one I know the most about. I might just be an average joe but I feel like I can relate to some on here. Though it feels like my situation was nothing compared to you guys.
I was born in Bellevue, Nebraska on the Air Force Base with a “disability.” I wouldn’t really call it one but it doesn’t enable me to do certain things. I was born with […]
Despite feeling helpless and suicidal through the later part of middle school and all of high school and college, I had never cut myself. I had never really felt the desire to.
But now, things are different. About 2 months ago I was very depressed and I tried cutting my upper arm and my legs. I wasn’t very good at it, so little blood came out. The marks went away about a month later.
But since then I’ve cut 3 more times. The 3rd time I cut, I cut my stomach and my lower leg. I work at home now, using my computer for 95% of my […]
I hate my life.
I hate my life because I am too stressed. I have been pouring over textbooks my whole life and I have been judge by my peers many many times. I can tell you ,any educational facts, but I cannot tell you the value of security and/or kindness. I can tell you many people have attempted to take their lives because of school. I can tell you that mistakes are viewed as failures in many hallways. A wrong answer is a sin you must atone to, not a human error, but a flaw so grand it defines your life course. When I get […]
Been suffering from asebergers, PTSD, BPD, severe social anxiety and extreme guilt for ages….. my gulit, combined wiith asebergers just made it so i’m broken socially, which furthers the degree of my BPD and loneliness pretty much by the day. my BPD overlaps with asebergers and i just lose it over little things… and everybody thinks i’m insane. i can’t even go outside and walk around because i’m afraid of what people will think. even my own family thinks i’m crazy!!! my mom has locked me up so many times over the littlest shit… and the funny thing is that pretty much everybody agrees that […]