Everyday it’s the same torture. I wake up not wanting to get out of bed. I leave my room to get on the scale seeing a number that makes me cry. I won’t eat but 100 cals a day. I weigh 99 pounds but my body looks like it’s 160 pounds. My parents worry. I clench my teeth trying not to cry all day. I ask myself why I let it get this far. I hate myself for who I am and the things I do. I start to believe I deserve all of this. I miss my boyfriend so much, he can’t be here […]
Tag:
Self Harm
The last 3 years off my life has been hell and I have suffered from suicide attempts and self harm. I have wrote my story down but it is 500 pages long and too big for here. I am trying to publish it to promote awareness for mental health. I have made a video of it on YouTube. You can look up a friend 4 me – diary of a suicide survivor. If anyone can point me in the right direction I would be very greatful. Thankyou.
I survived through a lot. Overdose, Anorexia, rehab(a lot of times), depression, self harm, suicide. If I can do it, so can you darling<3
I miss you.
I miss you like hell.
Why did you have to change.
We fit so well together.
We were soulmates.
But you had to change.
I probably sound crazy but I’m so emotionally broken deep down in my heart I don’t know what to do.
Self harm is so relieving.
It’s how I tolerate the pain.
I thought this kind of stuff would never happen to me.
I can’t reach out for help. It seems unnecessary. I don’t want to disturb everyones little happy bubble. So I need to hide it. Hide all of my emotions so no one can see how broken I am. No one needs to know no one cares. […]
I am 25 years old. I have always had problems with depression, with self-harm; I’ve attempted suicide twice, and I promised myself that the third time would be the last; I won’t mess it up, next time. The third time will be the end.
The third time is all I can think about lately. I have lost everything, these past few months. Two years ago, I moved 1000 miles away from home; away from all my family, who spent my entire childhood abusing and neglecting me, and away from all my toxic friends that only dragged me down into their messes. I wanted a fresh start; […]
Every Summer since I was a teenager has been tough for many different reasons.
From being in hospital, to loosing someone to death, to drinking myself awake every morning.
This Summer is full of promise.
This Summer is probably going to be my most memorable Summer yet and maybe ever.
I have no money but so much hope and love that it could fill an entire city.
I’ve one small worry though. This might be the start of the end of me and my bestfriend.
I’ve known this girl Hayley for 13 years of my life and I’m 17 yet.
She is literally my soul mate.
I […]
My name’s Caitlin. I’m nearly 14 and you’re probably going to have a rant at me for saying this and only being 13 but it’s how I feel and I need to tell someone.
My life won’t be as bad as anyone else. To be honest, my life isn’t even that bad – unless you look closer. I get bullied at school, online, and even sometimes on the street. It started when I was 10. I started cutting. I don’t know why I just did. It went on for a year then it stopped. I started to be happy again. It was great!
When I started High […]
I am speaking directly to people that suffer from severe depression and social anxiety. Â To people that know that they have been diagnosed with severe depression or social anxiety; please know that there are people out there just like you. Â Just like me. Â For five years I have been suffering from severe depression. Â I was diagnosed when I was 15 years old. Â Everyday is a struggle for me whether it is visible to the people around me or not. Â I don’t have anyone left to turn to. Â All of the people that are in my close circle of friends and family just ignore my call. […]
I used to self harm, not an awful lot but the marks remain on my wrists. I still get that feeling of wanting to make myself bleed just to get that rush of adrenaline. My father recently died of cancer, 8 months ago almost to this day in fact. We weren’t and still aren’t a rich family, and we’ve had money problems and we’ve had that worry of their being a letter on the doormat when we come home telling us we were being evicted, but luckily it has not come to that. My auntie died two years ago, and my grandma 5 years ago. […]
This is my first time on here, so i think i should telll you my past. when i was younger i was a really happy kid. my whole life was laughter. untill my parents divorced, they both remarried i was an only child but now my dad has 3 girls and my one sister is deaf and another has a hole in her heart. To make it worse my aunt, my bestfriend just passed away unexpectedly and my house just bunrt down… i used to self harm really badly but i learned to stop. i now have eating problems, in the last 3 days i […]
All my parents do is make me feel like im not good enough. im sorry i cant be their perfect child. It’s hard trying to keep them happy.
My friends have all became distant. I sit alone on the bus and at lunch. None of them understand. I’ve tried telling them but they dont help. Only i can help myself, i understand that. but i dont know how. im lost.
I told my boyfriend my whole story once. the reason i started cutting. why im suicidal. why im always crying when he calls me late at night. I told him all of my secrets. He made me […]
Borderline (personality),friends, and to much will to end it all…
by agentCooper
written by agentCooper
Thats where im, emotionaly destroyed, tired,depressed, and in the state when i dont care about my horrible english…
My friends DONT know that i had the Borderline behavioral dissorder. (I had few older people who know it but thats different kind of relationship)
And i dont know if I can trust them, or how to tell it to them, or tell them what I feel or whats going on when iam depressed, or sad, or when i had suicidal toughts…and  I feel so lonely with feeling that none understand me…
(I had some self-harm things so im using antidepressants – after one week at center of crisis intervention, I want to […]
Ever since my nan died when I was 8 I’ve had anxiety attacks about death. Not about the actual dying more more the idea that I am going to grow old and the world is going to go on and I just won’t exist. Just typing that make my chest tighten and I feel like I’m having a heart attack.
However, recently I just feel like I’m never happy anymore and the world has nothing left to offer me. I have no motivation and all I want to do is sleep or do things that make me feel like I’m part of some fantasy world […]
3 things to never do:
try lie to a teacher, getting you expelled.
ignore a guy who pours his heart out to you for over 2 years (only to fall for him when its too late)
or watch thirteen when your are a recovering self harm addict.
i came so close. i ran around the house looking for a pencil sharpener, unscrewed the blade andmy mind went blank. i dont know what happened. the next thing i knew, i was crying in the fetal position. i opened my hand and the blade was deep in the skin at the bottom of my thumb. i had squeezed my hand shut […]
Insinuation is fun.
Wordpress is annoying.
Anyway…
This is my first “post,” though my story is entirely too convoluted and nebulous to really nail… so i’ll just say this:
I’m an early-middle-aged white male, who has had a profoundly depressing, worthless, lonely and unfulfilling life.
I don’t burn or cut or self-harm (unless cigarettes count), i don’t drink (at all) or do any drugs (haven’t even smoked any cannabis in over a year, now… though i will admit i’ll never truly stop loving it)…
Though i have had a few isolated incidents in the past, where i lost self-control and did self-harm, it has never been anything that persists or establishes […]
i suffer from:
depression
social anxiety
trichotillomania
anorexia
self harm
severe self loathing
daily (hourly) suicidal thoughts
and i’d say all of these have been keeping me from living my life the way i want to, they cause me to hurt others emotionally, and they’ve all been getting worse. i don’t know if i consider what i’m doing living, but rather merely staying alive; always wishing to drop dead any second.
Someone please read, give me any advice you can. I am in desperate need of it.
by helplessles
written by helplessles
This is going to be long, I apologize in advance. I guess I can start by saying I am a 16 year old girl, although I hardly resemble a girl, and very depressed. I have been depressed for almost 2 years. I self harm, but cutting usually, I’ll pull my hair in the extremely emotionally painful moments, or I’ll pinch my arms. Its been a year since I have posted here, but I’m in need of some type of empathy. My family on a scale from 1-10, is a good strong 7.5, we have our fights, but i generally thing we all do love one and […]
I have been on a journey now for a few years. A journey of self-discovery is the way I like to think of it now. I began on my path through tragedy. My initial methods for dealing with this were vast; anger, denial, suppression – the usual, I think. It was only after a second life-altering event that I began to heal properly. Again, not right away. I was led into a darker existence, but I believe it has led me through to a better place now. I gave up on trying to ignore the immensely negative thoughts I had been having all along. I […]
But now it seems like eating disorders and self harm are all over the place. I’m sure I’ve probably been making the most weird and horrified faces at just about everything.
I got handed a knife to cut open a bag and the guy sitting next to me pointed to the bag and said “Don’t cut yourself.†I almost dropped everything I was holding because I thought he was pointing at my left arm.
Later that night a friend walked in and said “Marion, you’re so tiny and skinny.†I smiled because I was super proud of myself until she said “I don’t mean to say you […]
i’m in so much pain mentally.
can i tell you a secret? my best friend of 17 years raped and burned me with cigarettes while he was drunk. (you’re the first person i told) i have been cutting myself off and on since i was 9 because my cousin molested me until i was 12 and when i finally told them they said i was lying and i got slapped with being bipolar 2. i have one friend she is a complete ***** she doesn’t even care “it’s all about her” anyway. i am an introverted kind of person. i just turned 25 and i’m scared that […]