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I relapsed…

by ritualmusic 11/19/2014

written by ritualmusic

I used to self harm on a fairly regular basis. It helps me feel in control of my out of control life. I promised my boyfriend I would quit. I used to have him sit in the shower with me just so I wouldn’t be alone and tempted to use the blade I keep hidden in there. Hell, I even got a tattoo on my left arm to cover the scars and make a promise to myself that I wouldn’t do it again.

Well..today I failed.. no one will see them. No one pays attention and I’m a very convincing liar. My psych doctor calls […]

11/19/2014 5 comments

all you need is love. and lexapro.

by death bunny 11/18/2014

written by death bunny

recently we’ve broken up, after a long period of time together, through good times and bad. when we’ve met, i was happier. even though we met at the hospital, both dealing with our mental illnesses. i can’t point on the timeline when things got really bad. i’ve grown to drink frequently at some point. i thought it would help me escape my feelings, and, well, it did. but i thought, until recently, that it was just that. well, no.

i think i was seeking attention, love. she told me, since the beginning, she has a problem of showing love. i thought that by doing crazy shit […]

11/18/2014 2 comments

This Time Imperfect – AFI

by IndigoMasquerade 11/17/2014

written by IndigoMasquerade

There are no flowers, no not this time. There will be no angels gracing the lines. Just these stark words, I find.

I’d show a smile, but I’m too weak. I’d share with you could I only speak, just how much this hurts me.

11/17/2014 0 comment

Here Again

by BrakTalk 11/12/2014

written by BrakTalk

Seeing as the nights are simply growing colder no matter the weather outside the glass or the amount of sheets I attempt to crawl beneath, I find myself here again. From time to time, this feeling engulfs my body only to later show the stressing of my seams. Dearest, the shadows I live with are numberless; and, as if this statement werent true enough as is, I am a walking suicidal anomaly with as many wounds as demons to show for.

My body is a constant reminder of the years of drug abuse and self inflicted torture. There isn’t a day I awake to feel regret […]

11/12/2014 3 comments

What is love?

by Losergirl 10/29/2014

written by Losergirl

Is it weird that I feel like I don’t love my boyfriend….well, he’s my first boyfriend and….I’ve never really loved someone..

What are you supposed to feel when you’re in love…

We’ve been going out for two months now he says he loves everything about me and he accepts me for my depression and anxiety problems…

How does one love a companion?

How does one show love?

How does one love?

What is love…and can I love?

10/29/2014 1 comment

Europa

by Bisban 10/16/2014

written by Bisban

Its me and retrograde. I will never show myself. Black dog serenade; I go to spill my blood. The ultimate, a jazz that doesn’t play. There’s nothing now but a dead scream. A lamb to slaughter. Twenty minutes until the next. Oh, Mercury. I wanna’ dance, with the mushroom. No chicken bone, no’ no.

10/16/2014 0 comment

Maybe

by lostchild445 10/10/2014

written by lostchild445

Maybe I’m not meant for this
Perhaps all the drops and twists were not hurdles
But barriers, put up to show me I should stop

I try I fail I try again
But never can I succeed
Every time I attempt to lead a normal persons life
I get sucked down and stuck and faced with more strife

Maybe I’m not meant to live

10/10/2014 1 comment

I can see; Can you?

by AarinaDaae 10/5/2014

written by AarinaDaae

Have you seen Avatar? Not the cartoon but the giant blue people. No? Well, if you have time and are looking for a good movie, you should take some time to watch it. In the movie, Jake and Natiri go on an adventure and slowly being to “see” each other. It’s not a matter of having sight. It’s a matter of being able to see into someone. You can see their soul and true self and you can show an immense respect for someone because you see them. This is a notion I’ve always had. I care only for the beauty of your soul and […]

10/5/2014 3 comments

Goodbye ????

by Unknown Diana 10/3/2014

written by Unknown Diana

Im young,I’m also 14

ive always wanted to talk to someone my mom doesn’t talk to me she knows I cut she took me to church for people to talk to me to pray for me yes she’s a Cristian but she doesn’t do the heavy lifting she doesn’t ask how I’m doing or how was ur day I told her she doesn’t show she cares she said she doesn’t care that pulled the trigger and I think it’s time to say goodbye no one listens to me, no one cares my mom mostly and that’s the part that hurts she works we only see her […]

10/3/2014 6 comments

inconsiderate. ..

by kateralia 9/24/2014

written by kateralia

Why are ppl so inconsiderate? ! A prime example of shit that happens to me… I WAS asleep. I was actually having the best sleep I’ve had in 2 weeks. She sends her kids downstairs to be away from her & they play on the xbox. Noe the xbox is right next to my “room”, with just a curtain dividing.

Do of course, kids being kids, they start yelling & making sound effects & the boy kept calling to me, reminding me that I had to show him something. She knows that I cannot shut kids voices out, like she, their mother, can.

So of course I […]

9/24/2014 3 comments

Wait, its all that I can take.

by alina_01 9/24/2014

written by alina_01

I just realized that I hate myself that I can not forgive myself. That’s not the worst part the worst is that I don’t let myself live life I cage myself up because I am a coward. I am afraid of getting hurt so afraid that I probably ruined a possible new relationship whether it was as friends or as lovers. I push people away I push myself away because I don’t trust anyone around me I don’t even trust myself. Because people have always hurt me and I have always let myself get hurt. It’s so unfair how I can easily love and forgive […]

9/24/2014 1 comment

Fuck it.

by AarinaDaae 9/16/2014

written by AarinaDaae

I worked myself stupid last year for an organization that was going under. I literally spent 56 hours working with no breaks and no sleep. You would think that the women who profited from my work, would spare an hour to come to my birthday celebration? Fuck. They don’t even have to come for an hour. Just show up and say hi. That’s all. I really wish I could articulate how hurt I am that I will be spending my 21st birthday…alone. What is the point of working hard on relationships if there is no gain to them? Why kill myself worrying over if i’m […]

9/16/2014 4 comments

Mirror on the wall

by starsonthewalls 9/14/2014

written by starsonthewalls

Standing in front of a mirror has never been more freighting.

seeing every flaw,every imperfection,every blemish on your body.

its a nightmare.

you stare too long and then you start to see how your hair isn’t quite right and your eyes are shaped weird.

you get lost in this feeling Of disgust and despair inside but outside you show no emotion.you’re in a silent war against your self.

and all you want is for someone to see,to hold you tight and say you’re beautiful.but no one will.

and suddenly you’re looking back at the mirror and you see is ugly.if only someone would say you aren’t

9/14/2014 5 comments

if i cant have her, i cant have anybody

by infectedpooks 9/6/2014

written by infectedpooks

the vampire diaries is her favorite show, so here i am, on a saturday night, by myself as always, watching this show and seeing all of these romantic loving relationships, something i wanted so badly with her. i refuse to live my life without her, i cant do it. the only reason im being a miserable loser here is because i wont allow anybody close to me know that i feel this way. once i grow a pair and actually decide to end it, theyll never see it coming.

9/6/2014 6 comments

challenged

by soonerthecosmos 9/1/2014

written by soonerthecosmos

You feel lonely and depressed and that one person you count on to understand you tells you: “There you go PRETENDING to be all sad again” and “Fine. If you want to wallow in your miserable self-pitying then be my f*cking guest.” Just no words right now for how pissed and CRUSHED I am. This challenges me more to show him that I AM NOT PRETENDING, I want to prove that to him so bad. I am so tempted to off myself…Has someone undergone something similar? 🙁

9/1/2014 8 comments

26 Prozac calling my name

by Lexi 8/16/2014

written by Lexi

It’s a different kind of feeling.. Worse than the others.. Like a never ending tightness in your stomach. I don’t wanna kill myself I just wanna show everyone what there doing to me

8/16/2014 2 comments

infinite hatred for me

by sobsobs 8/14/2014

written by sobsobs

Mirror mirror on the wall

Why are u lying to me ?

That’s not me , that reflection

Why are u only show things that I wanna see

Im ugly Fat And unworthy

And there is nothing that I like about me

My boyfriend said im pretty

But I doubt it cuz he hates me

He hit me when Im sad n gloomy

He yell and cuss , makes me feel unworthy

Family ignored me

Friends walk away from me

All I have is me but

there is nothing that I can like about me anymore

The hatred that I have for myself is infinity

8/14/2014 0 comment

He Actually Did It

by Khumz 8/12/2014

written by Khumz

All The Oscars,money and fame couldnt stop depression from attacking you!depression just doesnt attack poor people only,it can attack anyone.He wasnt born with depression,but has been battling it for years,HE WAS A COMEDIAN!!made people laugh all the time,and yet depp down he wasnt happy.goes to show that we can smile and shake hands around people,while dying inside.63years,and he did it!he mustve been contemplating it for months or whatever,becoz we all want to do it,but keep holdin on,faith,or whatever.shit is real!
he can finally find peace.R.I.P ROBIN WILLIAMS

8/12/2014 1 comment

Why?

by danid 8/9/2014

written by danid

Why does this happen to me? Why does this happen to us. I’m tired of the scars uprising, but I cant seem to hide. Love ain’t the answer. Death won’t pick up the phone when I call and all I ask is why me? Do people really care or is it all a show we are supposed to give into? My souls been annihilated & death still won’t take me… Where did I go wrong? Was being born not supposed to be? Is this punishment for my parents mistake? I don’t fucking get it one bit. They gone and everything in my life is gone […]

8/9/2014 3 comments

No one.

by Sadnesskills 7/28/2014

written by Sadnesskills

I have no one in my life. My best friend, doesn’t make me feel like he gives a shit about me. He doesn’t even talk to me some days, but he talks to other people. It hurts a lot. My family isn’t here for me, they’re all to busy with themselves. My other friends don’t care about anyone other then themselves or their boyfriends/girlfriends. I want someone to come over and sit in my room with me and watch a movie and we can just talk about everything. How I feel, how they feel, what’s going on with our families just anything and everything. Just […]

7/28/2014 8 comments

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