In 3rd grade, I was told by my doctor that I had anxieties. I was going home from school everyday sick to my stomach due to my constant worrying. My father hadn’t contacted me in awhile and it was the first thing that had me worried so bad at a young age. I was making myself really sick and I’d have panic attacks. As I got older, I struggled with more teenage problems. My anxieties were at an ultimate high. I’m sixteen years old and can barely drive a car because I get worried about everything I’m doing and I have a panic attack and […]
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Sick To My Stomach
To my stomach
My palms won’t stop sweating
Thoughts flood my mind
My demons have taken over.
I can’t do it anymore.
I can’t try to smile
And act
Like everyone else
Because I know that I’m not
And I never will be.
And don’t call me a coward for being sad.
I am not a coward.
I am stronger than anyone will ever know.
And I have held in more thoughts than I am able to.
I am not a coward.
I am not a freak.
I am hurt and lonely and sad.
I am human.
They say that life goes on
But what if it leaves you behind
How are you supposed to pick yourself up again?
I may not survive this.
I feel sick to my stomach. Maybe it was lack of nutrition, most likely not the alcohol. I don’t know. I will try to avoid text slang as I am accommodated to it. My life has desensitized me, I guess. I just picked that word up from a previous post. I believe I might be insane but how can I be sure. I have begun wearing a “happy” mask at my new school as its the last year of high school, so why not keep everyone out of the loop of my insanity and depression.
Yesterday, my happy place was destroyed (the imaginary place in my […]
Sorry if this is the wrong place to put this, but i needed to say something to let stuff out for once. My life has not been very terrible, I just feel it was an unsuccessful one. I have known i wasn’t going to make it very long since i was 13, I would try to imagine myself doing normal things like getting a drivers license or dating but i just couldn’t see it or feel it. My father was physically abusive to my sister and mother and emotionally abusive to me, my mother divorced him when i was 2 but she was scared and had an unlucky choice […]
I want to rid myself of all my pain. Just thinking about tomorrow honestly makes me sick to my stomach. It’s the most disgusting  thing I’ve ever felt in my life, and sometimes I can’t help but think about it at night and cry, because I keep feeling it over and over again. I lie there staring into nothing, my mind wondering off into tomorrow, and I feel sick.
I don’t have my friends anymore, and as cold as it sounds, they were nothing more than distractions, anyway. People that kept my mind occupied with something other than my own misery.  Yet, I still yearn for that false reality, that […]
I look at myself and all I see is failure. I’m so disgusted by myself I am sick to my stomach. I would like to think that if even one person showed me kindness and compassion than maybe there’s something to live for. Maybe I’m not destined to be alone and severely depressed for the rest of my life. God, I am such a pathetic excuse for a human being. I’m so fucking worthless. Who am I kidding huh? Did I honestly ever think that anybody could ever really truly love me? No.
Is a friend just to much to ask for? Or maybe I just […]
i have very low self esteem. i spend all day online looking at ways to make myself prettier- makeup tricks, hair tricks, fashion tips. i shop a lot and keep up with latest trends and i always try to look good. i want to please those around me- my husband my family. everyone is always looking their best, they criticize me when i do not wear makeup or have my hair done. they look down on me. this morning i was feeling down and ugly like i always do while watching some beauty videos on youtube. i was listening to the TV about how to […]
It makes me sick to my stomach what people do to animals.
If I had a say anyone who ever hurt an aminal would be dead.
It’s true I’m worthless. I’m not going anywhere or doing anything. No one wants me or cares about me. No one really understands me. The people around me like me sure, but they wouldn’t be too sad if I went away. I just cant handle the mediocrity anymore. I feel sick to my stomach. I want to puke my guts out and die. I can’t do this. I can’t keep going through the motions, trying to figure why the fuck I’m here. It’s too overwhelming. It’s too much. I want to curl up in a ball and cry, and I do every night. I know […]
Hello. I am depressed. I need to go to a place where no one can judge me and yet I can tell anything too. In short, I messed up, I messed up my whole life and future. I was dating a boy for a year and a half and he didn’t receive enough attention from me. I was being beaten a lot from my father and I did not want to tell him because I was ashamed of it and I did not want him to get hurt as well. I wish I told him so we might still be together. After he broke up […]