Back in June i told myself i’m done self harming. Today after almost 3 months i relapsed. Its getting harder and harder to stop cutting, but the saddest part is that nobody understands. They don’t realize how much pain someones in when that blade slides across their own skin. I hate cutting yet i love it and i’m not sure i’m going to be able to stop again…..
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Slides
She got up and grabbed her things. Escaped to some empty common room, opened her laptop, and methodically pulled that hairband against her wrist.
“Haha you know you shouldn’t do that, it could hurt haha,” some guy says, nodding at her wrist. She smiles up to him and nods slightly. He moves away and she goes back to snapping the hairband. She holds back tears and swallows deeply. She turns on her laptop and reads sad stories, all the while tugging at that damn hairband. People wander past, but none even glance her way. She is alone, lost, forgotten. Her phone buzzes, waking her up from […]
Today,31 May 2013,I just came back from school feeling absolutely sleep deprived and unmotivated. I had it tough these few weeks. School,projects,assignments and continuous disgust i get from the people who resents me,has made life pretty much unbearable these few days. I have been crying these few days and just trying to hold on to what I know best.
I notice that no matter how much effort i put into school,things never go the way i want it to be. It makes me breakdown inside. I feel so hopeless and I feel so useless. I feel that I was never meant for college life. Honestly,right now […]
My whole life I’ve been told that I was smart. Smart enough to do anything I wanted. I would be the one in the family to go the furthest and make everyone proud. Well, here I am, about to fail my first class in grad school. There’s no way out of it now, save death. The final is Monday, and I know nothing. Every time I try to study I look blankly at the slides for about a half hour, then cry for an hour, then I’m so exhausted all I want to do is take a shower and go to sleep. Everywhere I turn […]
found this poem online n made me think about a lot.
i thought i’ll share it with you guys.
 Razorblade
As the razorblade slides threw my pale skin,
the red, warm blodd starts to run down my arm.
It goes faster and faster.
The sut is so deep,
like it’s never been before.
The razorblade turns all red,
full of blood.
I know now theres no turning back.
The scare of my pain will always be there forever.
I’ll always have the memories.
I just had to let the pain go somehow.
This is the way I do.
Thoughts of suicide start to run threw […]