I remember when the thought of cutting myself scared me. Suicide had crossed my mind once or twice, but i never contemplated it seriously. Now, I cut nearly every day, and I’ve attempted suicide twice. I look in the mirror and i don’t know who I am anymore, I used to be truly happy but now I’m just numb and empty. No one notices the bruises on my body put there by someone else, maybe they do notice annd don’t seem to care.
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I really don’t know why I feel the way I do. My friends are trustworthy people, I have a loving family, hobbies that I love, dreams and ambitions…on paper, nothing seems that bad at all. But for quite a few years now, without anything bad happening, and for no particular reason at all, I’ve been experiencing these very intense bouts of sadness. It’s gets so bad that my body literally becomes numb, and I find it difficult to do much of anything except cry. Sometimes, it even catches me when I’m out in public.
To me, it made sense that I should try to talk to […]
how do you care or support for someone who asks for your help but then treats you like crap? Especially if that person is family. You can’t talk back to your parents or speak up for yourself because the world has tauught you since you were a kid to not talk back to ‘authority’ or ‘elders’ or ‘parents’ or ‘carers’. Then there are people who teach you that you should speak up for yourself, tell them what your thoughts or idea or opinion is….when you finally do it, it just seems to go the other way and you give up….stop trying, not bother, be pushed […]
Can I post a picture of an old si? Solely for the purpose of hoping it might stop someone else?
This was going to be a comment… somewhere… But it got promoted to a post.
I think a future where society has dissolved the taboo that one should /not/ have control over their own life, is a great and wondrous one. I would argue control over ones life is a cornerstone of freedom, and without that basic right, we are oppressed.
The natural order is to die from disease, not from old age. Today life expectancy has doubled *worldwide* since the 1900s. So, It seems we are just entering the era of death from old age (if 70 is old). Still it is almost always from illness […]
they say ignorance is bliss, and for a long time i thought they were stupid. how could people who are completely unaware be blissful? Wouldn’t they thirst for the knowledge of this world.
but as I grew up, i realize more and more how true this is. How often do I now wish that I knew less, that I dreamed less, that I could be a part of this world in a way I now know I never could be.
I am a victim of my own mind. Trapped in a lifeless body yet wrecked with dreams of vivid colors and greater adventures. A spirit yearning for […]
Is it worth it to be sad for loving someone who doesn’t love you back?
Is it worth it to hear all about how much she loves that guy, when in reality all you want is for her to love you?
Is it worth it to hear every single day about that guy that she loves so much, just to not lose her friendship?
Is it worth it to be everyday, every hour, at her side, faking to be okay, when in reality you’re in pain?
Is it worth it to keep the fact that I love her so much as a secret so that […]
Waking up everyday feeling that you’re worthless, not knowing what to do with your life. I constantly think about the meaning of it all, yet I always come up with a blank. Living day after day without anything to hold on to. I have a couple of friends that I hang out with sometimes or go to events, but I don’t know how to make real connections, because I’m socially awkward. I keep telling myself “Just try to be friendly, do your best, you will improve, you will meet new people, everything will get better” But it doesn’t. It just gets worse and just thinking […]
It’s like my mind is clogged with overwhelming thoughts and feelings. It’s never small things either, it’s like my mind is trained to force questions upon myself like “Why am I alive” and “What’s really the point to all of this”. I feel so alone, I have few friends and none of them understand what it’s like to wake up and wish you were dead. (I’m pretty sure that’s a song lyric)
I never talk to anyone other my psychologist about how I feel, I’ve tried before and I just get judged and put down. People think I’m an attention whore if my sleeve slips up […]
First, there’s no such thing as a new person saying “I don’t know where to begin.” There is no place to begin, so saying that in your post means you’re overcompensating for using a different email. Second, if you talk about things that are not real, like buying happy pills or your fucking job, then you lose all credibility here. Third, every single person on earth hears voices it’s just that some people who love to judge and label things because they are afraid of not knowing things label and judge their voices to be somehow more special than self proclaimed normal people. The voice […]
At night time when I’m laying awake in bed I hear voices, I know they’re in my head but they aren’t like normal thoughts; they sound real and alive like someone’s speaking to me. It makes me confused thinking about it because they’re always right but they’re never things I’d personally say to myself or even think in my head. Most of the time they’re negative things, comments on my personality or how I look and act. Other times it’s like they’re trying to make me think that someone’s done something horrible or that I should do something horrible.
I guess I’m just overly confused about […]
I need someone to save me ’cause I can’t even save myself….
Just wanted to let anyone interested that I have decided to postpone my planned suicide attempt (I call them PSA) until another time, for now.
Nothing has changed, just decided it wasn’t the right time. I wish I had some good news to share, but I don’t.
I’m sure the next time will be soon enough. Until then I will be reading and commenting, hoping to maybe help someone out there that needs it.
Hello. I am a 13 year old Female dealing with Social Anxiety, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, and Bullying. Every time i go to school i get judged for who i am, today [4/22/2015], someone pushed me into a wall and called me a fat emo. Last night when i was chatting with my online friends, someone sent me a paragraph on how dumb i am, how worthless i am, and how i am a failure. I cut myself every other day because i know i deserve the pain. I skip every dinner to lose weight. My parents think i’m weird. All of my “friends” make fun of my […]
i feel that someone push my life to be like that
i tried so many times to get out from this misery but i failed every time
i dont know what to do
i think only death will get me out of this shit
i feel so lonely
This world is boring , boring world . why movies, games, anime/manga, fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
by niki
written by niki
I hate this world .
This world is so boring , boring world !
Why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, eat, then sleep, then repeat again.
but movie / game / anime / manga / comics / books are much more exciting & interesting than this boring life !
for example: like in the world / universe of Harry Potter, Avatar, Lord of the Rings, […]
So I’ve been alone for a long time, practically all my life. And this recent suicidal phase I’ve gone thru hasn’t helped that at all. Scarred myself up good I did. Even slicing my arm open on a hacksaw by accident one day. I’ve grown a loving for the color black and everything about. In color theory, it’s either the presence of every color or the absence. I like to think every color is present.
But anyway, I’ve made plans and I’ve screwed it into my head that I’m probably going to end up dying alone in my old age. And I think I’m prepared for […]
i feel like I am a sim.
Someone is directing me from above, and is having a jolly good time at it. My wants come up, my needs…they ignore them. Instead I jump through hoops, following their torturous whims, all without questioning why…
i wish they knew the cheats for the game. They’d certainly have done “death by flies” to me by now, and we’d both be better off because no one is having fun.
I’ve never posted here before, but I have read other’s stories. Honestly, they’ve helped me feel like i’m not the only one who feels a despair and hopelessness so deep, we feel we’ll never get back out. Life has always been hard, but I’ve been able to fight through it. A big FUCK YOU to society. I wanted to prove to myself that I could be someone of value despite the roadblocks life has thrown at me, and the impossible expectations people have. But I’ve come to realize it’s all an endless cycle. And I wish it would all just stop. Sorry for the long […]
Firstly. I need love. I have loads of them, but I don’t feel that people wants it from me… I think I don’t fit their standards. And I’m afraid to approach them. Like you know.. being approached by someone you don’t want to is irritating, and I don’t want them to feel that way. I can’t expressed it. And it’s so hurting me. Seriously though. Guys, do you wait for girls to react?
I need your opinion.. I can’t stand this idleness no more. Please please reply…