You know that saying, in the end no one dies a virgin because life fucks us all? Well, why don’t we think of it this way, in the end, your not really that important to human life like thomas edison or albert einstein, we are just parasites clinging to the crest of the earth trying to live, and yet, we still try to be someone we’re not, we try to be one of those popular people even though we like nothing the other popular people like, we try to make our mark on the world even though we don’t even know how. So, think of […]
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So, I never thought i’d be trying to talk to people online for advise but here goes nothing… Iv’e been with many women trying to find that one girl and all of my relationships have never really lasted long because I just emotionally refuse to fully give myself to someone until my last relationship. I hope you won’t judge but my last relationship was online in an online game me and my friend used to play and I met this girl, she was really nice and I was getting in to her and I could feel she liked me and just when I was getting […]
It hurts when someone lies to you. It hurts to think that you love the image they give to you when it’s not the real self. It hurts like hell, cause you tried to give yourself to someone in a real way, you open up your soul to them, you give your mind to them, your feelings, your heart, your life. It hurts cause is a constant why, why is he lying to me? , why is he treating me like this and treating her like that ? why is he giving her that and giving me something else ? Is he giving me his […]
I have two questions regard death by hanging, suspension , without breaking of the neck. The first question is will you feel anything after losing consciousness ? I know the feeling of lungs heaving must be painful but I want to know if someone would experience it at all, since after 10 seconds or so the person would be passed out. Is it a painful experience? The second question is how loud is the sound of someone suffocating during suspension hanging?? Is it possible for someone to hear, gagging, choking, or lungs heaving while passing? If so from how far away? through a wall? More […]
I don’t get high cause I like to,I don’t even like the tatse of swisher sweets.I get high to get threw the day.I rarely cut anymore but now that’s all I wanna do.Cutting when high Is like a high to a high.Without either one & someone not there Its like whats the point??I am by no means a strong person.I need an escape.Maybe I needa go home??
Humanity seems to believe the absurd ideology that all humans are created equal. Therefore, when someone has something like ADHD, or some other disorder, be it mental or physical, of course others will try to ostracise them! We’re raised in a society that says everyone is the same, and that people can do anything if they set their minds to it. This society is fucked up. Many “disorders” or “syndromes” aren’t detrimental at all, but rather, they’re different ways of acting and perceiving. Why can’t they be respected as such, and why do people with these differences have to be seen as inferior to others […]
Technology can be fantastic for meeting new people, and sometimes you meet the right ones. I got to. I met the man I would’ve grown old with through a stupid website then through a dumb app designed for sending nudes and talking to strangers. I don’t understand why such a fantastic man was put into my life just to be taken out of it. Thanks to Technology, I had to find out he died from a message. Not a call, not in person the day he died. No, several months later when his mother finally found my contact information. I don’t know the date of […]
Who?
Who am I? Who are my parents? Who will help me?
What?
What is going on? What will all this accomplish? What do I get from this all? What am I still doing here? What did I do to deserve this?
Where?
Where well I go now? Where will I matter to someone? Where will I die?
When?
When will this be over? When can I just be happy? When will you accept that I don’t belong here?
Why?
Why does this happen to me? Why can’t anyone help me? Why don’t they understand? Why can’t I be happy? Why did you leave? Why […]
since we are not allowed to discuss methods can anyone tell me of a website or something were we can? i dont want to complain about the hell i am stuck in anymore, i need to figure out how i can end this soon since i will probably ruin things somehow for someone the longer i live. i cant do anything right thats been that way since for ever and thats how its going to stay ive come to accept it. what i cant accept is more years of pain 32 is enough. is there groups for people to meet up and help each other […]
KK so im a shit person because i find it so stressful to make friends and when im in the process of becoming friendly with someone all i want to do is cut cut cut cut CUT so they can see and then they can’t reject me lol.
how fucked is that.
i fucking hate myself for even thinking like that
Well I don’t want to make a big deal about this, I just wanted to let it out. but it just hurts me when people use me. I know I let it happen to myself but the people that I thought I loved are the ones using me. You’d think you were finally happy and you finally had someone you could lean on.. But nope. In just five seconds they turn on you and you’re left alone.. I wish I had someone who I know would never drop me.
“She is not someone you understand. She is someone you watch, someone you use, someone you mourn. She is made for love but love is not made for her. Everything about her runs deeper than in you; her madness is truer, her mind brighter and better broken, and her anguish is in her bones, not her blood. You will never forgive her for dying, but she will aways be dead forever, and your horror means nothing to her anymore. That, more than anything is why you still dream about her and her flowers thrown like curses. She has made herself no longer yours to dream […]
I don’t know what made me find this site… well I do bit I don’t know what made me decide to stay here. I guess I just thought maybe writing out my thoughts would help. But then again not much can help anymore. So… I’m not sure what to tell anyone, as if anyone’s gonna care but here I go.
I haven’t always been suicidal, in fact I used to never stop smiling, to always be happy. But recently I’ve just had so much happen. One thing that’s got me so depressed is probably losing a lot of my family […]
Have you seen Avatar? Not the cartoon but the giant blue people. No? Well, if you have time and are looking for a good movie, you should take some time to watch it. In the movie, Jake and Natiri go on an adventure and slowly being to “see” each other. It’s not a matter of having sight. It’s a matter of being able to see into someone. You can see their soul and true self and you can show an immense respect for someone because you see them. This is a notion I’ve always had. I care only for the beauty of your soul and […]
So recently I met someone. were officially dating and well its nice. He calms me and keeps me grounded, but i still feel like I’m going to drown, part of me feels as if i have to go, as if even if things get better, my mind and soul has chosen, and that my year is almost up. I haven’t shared with him my plans to go, i doubt i ever will. I hate how everyone thinks that he has managed to fix me already, i seriously don’t see how you can fix me. You cant fix monsters.
anyway, here’s a short story since i haven’t […]
First time I’m saying something about it. I mean today is the day, but nobody knows. I wanted someone to know. It’s an interesting feeling walking around, conversing, interacting with normal life people, while knowing without a doubt that I will die today. I’ve ruined everything I’ve touched. I’ve wasted so many chances, so much time. Of my own, and more importantly, others around me. I’m the catalyst. Remove me, all is well. I’m quiet about it now, I’ll be quiet when it happens. No need for a fiasco. I’ve created enough of those. When you know, you know I suppose. I’ve discovered that clearing […]
Some days I feel like my chest is being crushed by all the love and care I would have wanted to give someone. Even now my heart is drowning in a sorrow that has no stars, and no laughter and no sleep.
Some days I wonder if ppl just can’t see how wonderful they really are.. even burned out, or damaged.. There is such beauty in a strong beating heart inside a good person.
One day, I realized he might not exist. My soulmate, I mean.
I realized there might not be someone walking around this earth just waiting to meet me. Someone with a private world just as intricate as mine that, one day, I would get to share and be a part of and know.
And I realized I was keeping a vacant spot in my heart for this person who might not exist. That I wasn’t allowing myself to be whole because how could I be whole with my other half missing?
I posted yesterday.
This morning I woke up and thought “If I’m going to kill myself, today is the day.” And I’m too cowardly to go through with it. I’m giving myself just a few more days to pull out of this mess. I want kids, I want to get married and I want to graduate college. I’m a freshman this year. I have plans and ambitions. But I don’t want to live with this pain. Taking 3 pills for my depression is what I was told to do, and with that, I sleep through my classes.
If I take only 2? I want to die
Someone tell […]
You just got out of a mental hospital a month ago and you see someone you met inside walking down the street with someone else. You really want to say ‘hi’ to her, but then the thought occurs to you that maybe the person she’s walking with doesn’t know she was in a mental hospital. Maybe he/she is like, a work colleague or something.
What would you say if she tries to introduce you to her friend? Would you make something up like “uh, yeah, we met in… um…” (come on, think, dammit, think!) “… church” (argh dammit why did I say that? I’m an atheist)
Do you just keep […]