We haven’t heard from Januray…But.. I missed all these people who doesn’t know how much I love them.. Maybe they aren’t perfect to someone else,bu to me you are perfect just the way you are. I love you guys,all of you.
My status,of emotions are distroyed.Of health so much better,but I still feel empty. And if someone is willing to share their story can send me a mail on lanamajetic33@gmail.com . I will always be there for anyone of you. I can’t say it will be better,maybe it won’t be like you want. You have to stay strong. I sound like my therapist. haha. I […]
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I’ve been married for eight years. Before that I was married to someone else for five. So I haven’t been by myself for a very long time. I have two children, a boy and a girl. They are the reason I haven’t done it yet.
I understand now why I am always sad, and why I fall in love with men who can’t love me back. My parents could never love me and there is a hole in my heart where there ought to be confidence. I was raised to be a good christian girl and always serve others. I was never supposed to want […]
Why does everyone have to dress like hookers when it starts to get hot outside? Seriously, do they feel it is mating time and they need to attract sexual partners for breeding? And then when someone not as optically attractive as they are wears the same kind of clothes they are criticized and laughed at for doing the exact same thing. Anyways, there are enough fine pieces of clothing which aren’t too warm to wear and which cover more than just the reproduction organs.
And imagine a guy wearing the same clothes, or even worse a NERD wearing those clothes: I don’t want to think about […]
I look at what choices i have. i can let it take me under or fight back. ive fought for a decade or more. my insides are shutting down like its preparing for the worst. ive researched meds that can be lethal. i look one last time and ask myself who is out there to care for someone like me. im on my death bed but im the captain. im ready.
I wrote this song for the broken people out there.
It’s been posted in mp3 format on sp, but for those who may need encouragement, or for those who may just need to feel that someone cares, this song is for you.
You can always comment, or drop me a line. On my chanel is also a song called in this world, of which has been posted on this site as well, and you can check that one out as well, if you would like.
brl.cents@gmail.com
it wouldn’t surprise me if we all had some sort of implants in our head, or trackers or something…it seems like I’m always being watched.
I bet there’s someone whose job it is to monitor me, and they’re reading this. Hello friendly monitor, how’s it going?
I stopped feeling years ago now the only thing I feel is pain I don’t truly know why I’m typing this stuff…maybe it’s so someone that has the perfect advice to see it and gives me that advice and I make a better life but everytime I try I have the cruel reminder some force wants me to see and it’s that I was born to suffer everytime I’m happy I try to bring my mood back down so nobody can have the satisfaction of ruining it I’ve lost every single shred of me that gave me a will to live I want […]
I’m not sure if I really want to die.
I think about it. Killing myself, I mean. It’s not healthy. I know that, but I still do it. I hurt myself, even though the logical part of me says, “Stop!”. That part of me tells me to get help, to talk to someone. But, the other parts of me, the scared, lonely, and tired parts of me, they say not to. That it’s better that they don’t know.
I don’t want to hurt the people I care about by showing them all the messed up screws in me.
I don’t want them to see all […]
So very alone. So very sick.
I’m running out of hope, and maybe that’s not the worst thing.
I’m sitting on my couch, in my underwear, after binging on food. I’m still binging on food. I feel disgusting and overwhelmed, surrounded by the grime of my house, a house I’m unable to care for no matter what I do.
I don’t know if it’s right for me to write here. What if I trigger someone to go through with their own suicide? It’s difficult to stop obsessively caring.
I don’t know if I can stay alive much longer. I don’t know if it’s right for me to. Some people […]
That moment when you are finally getting over your depression and someone comes along as says “you’re messed up in the head” Just what I wanted to hear.
I’m slipping off the edge again, I feel like every where i turn it’s gonna be another round of how to tear down the weird girl. It’s like they only come after me and I don’t know why. I don’t understand why it is such a bad thing to be different from the others. Why should it matter that I like a lot of eyeliner, or that the bottom half of my hair is a different color every two weeks. why should it matter to anyone? It’s not like my actions have a direct cause on your life. It’s not like I plan my life […]
I remember looking into the mirror and being disgusted at the pitiful, worthless person I saw before me. I loathed myself, everything about myself. I was fearful of the world around me and felt suffocated by the pain that I had endured. My life meant nothing, I was nothing.
Now I sit here reading all of these posts, all of these reflections of me and my heart bleeds. I remember not so long ago feeling this way. Planning my death and thinking about how my suicide would be successful this time around if I did it this way or that way.
After something particularly devastating […]
Your heart so hard and cold
The tears I hold as you all laugh at me.
Others not moving an inch, standing where they may
Your words so filled with silly hate.
Your hate is jealousy in the purest form.
I smile and pretend that the words don’t cut like knives.
That I can’t hear the little whispers in the halls
I don’t understand what I did.
I just want it to end, I want it to end here and now
Your hate is your poison and you choking on it.
Every breath you take, hate
Every move you make, hate
Every look you give, and […]
Telling someone they can’t be sad because others have it worse,is like saying someone can’t be happy because others have it better.
Hi everyone, how y’all been doing? I’m bored, Â wanna talk to someone. If you have Kik messenger (for mobile devices, not PC), feel free to add me (nigvo). We can talk about anything. But don’t forget to mention you’re from SP first off. No horny bitches, please. I have 3 days to talk to you. So if you feel up to a conversation, hit me up soon.
so within the past year I have consumed more than a big bottle of different kinds of pills (trying to overdose) obviously. but I have never been successful. what am I doing wrong? why am I still alive. I see this also as a blessing but because I’m so sad I just don’t understand why I’m still here someone please help and tell me what I’m doing wrong
so many people think it is funny to make someone kill theirselves but it aint
I’m having another episode right now.. it’s really bad. i want something to happen… i either want to end it all right now or i want someone to just help me out of this and figure out what I should do next… I’m tired of waiting and letting this happen over andover again. please.
I had the worst nightmare last night.
Some of you remember a post about me having a stillborn baby girl.
So beautiful.
Anyways, I had a dream last night that the world was being overtaken by primates. Sounds crazy but hang in there. Primates of all kinds. Orangutans, monkeys, chimps, gorillas, etc. they ran around screeching and destroying anything within reach. Meanwhile the sky was grey with only a few streetlights to reveal the streets. Before the “invasion†I was at home in bed with my boyfriend, very pregnant might I add, and proceeded to go into labor. The fastest and best labor in the world in my […]
Hey everyone,
I’m not exactly new to SP, only because I’ve been a viewer for a while. You may have seen my shadow on your posts, that was me stalking you. haha. Anyways I’ve been replying to some of you guys, but I figure it’s time I formally introduce myself. So here I am. I feel like I can relate to a lot of you guys/gals. I have been through the ringer. There’s really not much I haven’t been through. So part of the reason why I’m here is you guys help remind me I’m not alone. And I want to be there and help others […]