For those of you who don’t know me – Hi, I’m dawg. As I do from time to time I pop in and out of the SP world – for no particular reason other than I try to keep up with the many many great people who I’ve met with here in the SP world … again, for those of you who don’t know me, I’m old … much older than most who participate here – I point this out because I have a hard time remembering all the names, so I’m not going to list the multitude of names I’ve met here – but […]
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SP
Proof of life engraved on arm
and sin of living scarred into flesh.
Charm long cast aside;
yin long embraced!
Memories of you become nightmares
as the past becomes my drug.
The time for repairs has long past;
can’t be debugged!
The future I wanted
ended long before I met you.
Trickster with sins of life and virtues of despair;
can’t take back!
“One by one, the sins have become a validation of existence, a sign that I’m human! I’m not human, though… The glorified virtues have become my curse. My last remaining sin, the proof I’m still breathing even though it’s nothing more than a sigh…”
I’m wishing for the sun to burn it away,
to rise like […]
Anyone on SP from India? Around Delhi region?
Hey
I just read your post about how your friend was mocking you for being too darn sensitive.
I just want you to know that i actually know where youre coming from right now, cus the same stuff happens with me, its just i dont let other people know.
So if you wanna talk about it, i am sure that other people, including me, here on SP would be really glad to help you.
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“What keeps you from cutting?”
This question was posed upon me by my therapist recently. My answer was that I want success more than I want momentary relief from psychological pain….
So it’s just not worth it to cut anymore. Also I haven’t yet admitted to the frequency and intensity of suicidal ideation I’ve been enduring since we started talking about “what happened”. I don’t like talking about my uncle and the incest, it hurts me deep inside. I feel like I’m bleeding internally but when I vomit up my anxiety it is nothing but acrid yellow phlegm. I essentially want to rid myself of these demons […]
If I wrote a book about the various house-hold chemicals you can use to kill yourself, I’d be a best selling author. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve researched this method. But I stopped those plans and I am now taking medicine and going for counselling. My therapist shows me techniques on how to deal with pressure and it really helps. A little bit of positivity is starting to creep back in and the dark cloak on my mind is slowly being unfurled. But I gotta admit, I do have some dark days but I always find ways of controlling my thoughts. Something that […]
this was briefly discussed in my last post but i figured id start a new post about it so it can reach as many ppl as possible like the title says i want to try and set up a regular movie night for SPers there a website called rabbit that allows shared streaming from any website and up to 15 ppl to chat while watching whatever if anyone has any ideas on how to make this happen my skype is hiitsme0819 i really hope we can make this happen the website has one main flaw where ppl cant get into the room unless the person […]
I wanted to say thank you.
The community here has been really supportive in comments and I didn’t have the chance respond. I tried to kill myself and I thought my failure was weakness. Your responses helped. Thank you for reaching out. I feel like everything is falling apart and chaotic, but having SP has been a relief. I feel like nobody else really understands. I’ve been reading here for a long time before even posting so I understand a lot of people are experiencing hard times. Maybe not the same hardship but at least it helps heing able to understand what’s going on. This […]
I am still here.
It seems as if it is just one disappointment after another. I have everything I need to “punch in my ticket,” yet instill I hesitate. My friend said something is keeping me here, keeping me from committing the final deed. I don’t know what it is but I want to find it. I am tired of the monotony of life and just want to be okay again. I have been seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist on and off for about three years now and it doesn’t seem like it is working. I don’t feel intense emotions anymore and all I do is sleep […]
maybe it’s alcohol or maybe I’m riding a mania. Both ways it doesn’t matter I decided to give my self another chance before I end it all. I will try to find love within again after being dead inside for long time. Nothing really matters since we are going to die someday aight? Fuck depression and fuck all the mental diseases all together nobody deserve it and I won’t wish it for my most hated enemies. I will stick to SP and try to help as much as possible I love u all
So the other day I was in a kik chat with 35 people who have use or still use SP as a place to vent. A few people recently joined the chat after being away from sp and chat fot at least a year, and they had seemingly moved on with their life. So they were discussing their time they spent here in this community, and I began reading.
The conversation went something like this,
Person 1 – “I’m so glad that time of my life is over…”
Person 2 – “Yeah, we poured so much of ourselves and emotions into SP, it was really hard
There was more […]
Spent the past weeks in hospital after yet another failed attempt at taking my life. I wanna turn my life around. Maybe it ain’t my time to go yet. I’m still going to give life another shot. Got a great job offer. Will start as soon as I leave the hospital.
Suicidal thougts still linger in my head but I made them my ally now. They are pretty managable. I still hope to work to earn enough money for a peaceful exit. But until then, there’s a lot of ass I gotta kick and there’s also a whole lot of ass to admire lol. 🙂 I […]
I ran out of a burger shop last night. I was all set to gorge on some grade “A” Canadian ANGUS beef, but then I saw that the cashier I (kinda) like was working that day. She smiled and waved at me, even though I was all the way at the back of the line, and so I freaked and got out of there. I’d love to take her out, but I’ll never have the courage for anything more than nervous small talk, with her or with anyone; I’ve only ever dated girls I met online. Not like it matters anyway since I’m such a […]
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got a 12 pack of natural ice and 2 25 ounces of it. I love you guys.
Do we have any other way of connecting to people from SP? Like a chat room or channel? I thought I saw something like that a couple months ago here. Or maybe it is illegal or something, I don’t know.
when the time comes, I have decided that I want to be creamated. Would any of you like to have some of my ashes? I’m gonna give most to my far away sweetheart and my aunt. I’d like to also give some to the people in here thst gave the most support.
yall know who she is. My friend seen her in cam and showed me a screenshot, than when I seen her pics they were totally different. When confronted, she said I fell for everything. Shes really 25, don’t have Chrons, lives on her own YADA YADA YADA. Then said oh I want your dick! Than started bs again. SHE IS A PSYCHOPATH WHO IS NOT TO BE TRUSTED. I was right all along. I’m smart. I can see right though fucking people. She also said SP is full of crap and spread lies. Laughing, than talking sexual again. Well lights out. I had enough of […]
I’m about 13 hours too late when i read a farewell post by Wndozh8r. Very upsetting to see him go but i understand both sides.
SP, i just wish you would rethink this rule. People contemplating suicide will either do it or not. It’s just a matter of time for me. If it weren’t for Wndozh8r there would’ve been good chance that i would suffer a very painful attempt and survive. My family, friends and colleagues would find out my dark secret. I could even be locked up in a pysch ward. My survival would be a bigger nightmare than this current one I’m living.
Even though […]