I wake up everyday still with thoughts, regrets and choices ive made n just have to keep breathing n moving. I have no motivation to do anything, i feel i deserve to feel this way. Like i shouldnt have dared to try and live a good life. Im numb to everything, stuck sulking in my mind. But day by day i keep waking up, empty, half alive. Praying for it to be over. I want this. I cant believe i want this
Thank you for sharing that song last night. I’ve been stuck in my room watching the rose my mother gave me yesterday bloom. I finally fell asleep as the first petal began to drop. It was almost 3 days without sleep.
Matthew 11:28
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Ive never been the religious type but when this citation came up in Life is Strange..its really stuck with me. Long time no post for a sec there ha.
I heard this song on the radio again this morning. Last night, I was contemplating whether I’d do “it” now, I just fell asleep crying. Now I’m on my way to school with this song stuck in my head, it kinda makes me feel better. So yeah, Have a good day! 🙂
(i don’t know if the video would embed, i’m on mobile :P)
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I’m stuck again… this time, I no longer feel the satisfaction I used to feel. Nothing seems good to me… watching a movie or TV show doesn’t satisfy… doesn’t distract me from what’s going on inside.
The scariest part, not even food tastes the same…
I wish I could find some relief… but I don’t know where to go… I’m not sure what to do.
The worst part? This is all my fault… I screwed up again…
I wish I were dead. Or maybe that I never existed… maybe then I wouldn’t hurt so many people.
I miss all of the old friends I have lost. They left me and I left them. I miss all the good memories I had with each of them. Now I’m stuck at home alone on Halloween with no energy and no friends who want to invite me to hang out with them, I have a feeling this years holidays are going to suck.
A beautiful girl in a world so cold
A boy in a new place
They both feel so old
The girl sees a new face
In public they kiss
A trap has fallen
The boy nervous he might miss
His heart has been stolen
The boy falls in lust
The girl sees her chance
He gave her his trust
Her lies pierced his heart like a lance
The fights
The anger
They last all night
Increasing the danger
New friends
Jealousy arises
Happiness never ends
Demons come in all shapes and sizes
A lie so bold
The boy believes
A truth never told
Another girl greaves
Flashing light
Hurried breath
Terrifying night
Impending death
He wants to leave
She begs him to stay
She can’t believe
It turned out this way
Author’s note: This is my first […]
I have failed to get control of my thoughts. It’s so hard for me to think good thoughts. Anything positive that comes to my head is thwarted and all I see is gloom and doom. Immobilizing existential crises and depression are steadily eating away at me. Advice gives me an anxiety attack. I always have a toxic serum tucked away under my pillow. My friend won’t talk to me anymore because she thinks I am irredeemable and I guess depression is contagious. I feel so guilty and worthless because she beat her depression and I am still stuck in this rut. I guess I can […]
One of my current first world peeves includes the sent, delivered, and received indicators on messaging applications for smart phones. The two big ones in particular are whatsapp and kik, I find myself in a perpetual struggle to direct my attention away from them. They add an agonizing level of suspense to every conversation, and when on the receiving end they add an overwhelming obligation to reply to every message a friend gifts you. I feel as though I’ve been robbed of my anonymity, and the sanctity of a lie has been turned to rubbish. I can no longer say, “I was away from […]
I’m so tired of being alive. But it’s like I don’t even belong in death. Like I could never deserve such a privilege. I’m stuck, in between life and death and no matter how exhausted I am, I just seem to go on like a curse inside of me. I just want to lay down, crash and never wake up. But every single morning, my eyes open and my conscious never stops murmuring words here and there. So many years have passed now but it’s all so confusing to me, cause my memories are all a blurry haze and I keep forgetting to dislike the […]
i dont know what to do anymore, i say that alot because i dont. i want to give up but for some reason i cant. i cant move forward because there are so many things in the way, its like walking threw a brick wall. im stuck, and no matter what i do i cant be help because no one wants to. im alone. i think im in hell. is there an age where its inappropriate to cry, because when i do i eather piss people off or they start making fun of me. is that a bad thing now or is it just the […]
there’s no way that you are stuck on me like you used to be
and we never wade out too far till the skin begins to scar
to disappear without any trace
to open my eyes and see only your face
and to never be away from your side
wish we were so gone
stuck on these and your wide open seas and we never wade out too far till the skin begins to scar
warm lunar pole breezes here will keep us fine again
warm lunar pole breezes to the end
after light when we’re on our own and they slip on by
i had to […]
it’s a real love, that provides safe haven against all tragedies…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………i cannot tell him about the progeny of appolymous, ie, the mudd of sin that has left me sullied…..and what acts of deep, deep, deep dark injusticeits; Merriam Webster, latin origin; meaning fucking wrong, any philosophy, any pillar, any principle, will echo this sentiment….the deepest wrongs that have mutilated my soul (fuckin corny, fuckin clichĂ©, I know…I call creative liscence)…the worst of all, worst than the act, worser still than the lingering memory, worser still than the innocence that still lingered ( I still had some? news too me! no matter, it’s past slaughtered now)  he sits with me […]
they’re taunting me. i cant sleep without dreaming of him. the way he touched me. god i miss it so much. ive been restless for a few days now. cant grt over him if all i do is dream about him. WHY???!? he has moved on or so i think so. ive moved on but im still stuck.
You know if someone annoys you or you get in a fight? you can easily walk away from them right? or ignore them forever. But what if that person is yourself? you have no escape, youre stuck with yourself forever. and that scares me a lot.. like i cant just take a break from being around me.
Just found this site and I need to rant. I’m a 19 year old male and I have nothing to live for. My close friends have left the state so I have pretty much no one anymore. I just lost another girl. Another girl who was raped. I’ve only had two girlfriends. The first ones brother raped her and took her virginity and she FORGAVE him. Â I’ll never understand how victims let that go. My cousin and my mom were also raped, so you could say it’s something I take seriously. I want them dead. But when I tell these girls that, somehow I’m overreacting. […]
Dear life,
I’m sorry. i guess I should start with that. I’m sorry for failing you. I’m sorry that it didn’t get better. That the things I’ve done have left scars on my body and the scars on my heart. I’m sorry that I didn’t try to smile more genuinely. I’m sorry that my laugh was plastic and stale. I’m sorry I spoke to loudly or never spoke at all. I’m sorry that I didn’t try to fall in love. I’m sorry I was so afraid of falling in love. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the best me I wanted. I’m sorry that my “phase” got […]
What a tangled web stuck in a loop of hating myself for not having a life and not having a life because im to depressed and socially awkward to even try
anyone want to talk or need to? Im kinda bored really. so im up for it. studying alone on a Saturday is a hard thing to do. all my classmates graduated and im still stuck in my 4th year of uni. I need to get out of my house ASAP. tired of living here. need that independence! but its hard to reach.