I should probably start this post out by admitting to one thing- I am not suicidal. I am not suicidal but I am looking for help and to understand. My best friend and life partner is looking to kill himself and he has been wanting to talk about it with me, more and more, lately. These conversations end with him yelling because I don’t understand this very big part of him and me crying because the idea is just to painful for me to take in- being without my best friend. His habits of self-inflicted injury are becoming daily and I am at a loss […]
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suicidal
….There are so many of us. So many of us who feel suicidal and want to harm ourselves. Yet most of us say we hide away and/or try to fit in. Why is there this pressure/stigma to depression that just adds to the guilt we already have. Scared of hurting family and friends by telling them how we honestly feel. Other people can be selfish, put themselves first, are taught to look after themselves if they are treated wrong or are ill, but feeling suicidal doesn’t get anything other than a raised eyebrow, or a look of fear from people like you are going to blow […]
I have a long life story for somebody my age (19). It is streaked with bullieng, harsh words and judgement. I can’t talk about that now. It will make me feel worse.
My mum is going to push me over the edge. A few weeks ago I self harmed really badly because of how far she took things. Screaming screaming. Calling me names.
I have spent the past few hours looking up ways to kill myself, and I landed up here. I’m not too sure if it will help. I’m not too sure what else I can do to help myself, to prevent myself from falling […]
I was happy with everything in my life until 6th grade, when I found out I was gay. I haven’t told anyone I am yet, but how can I? My mom, one of the people I trust the most said on election day “I’m not voting to allow gay marriage, it’s just wrong and unholy.”. Until then I thought I could tell her anything and she would still love me. Now I have suicidal thoughts, cut myself and cry almost daily and still nobody has a clue that they are torturing me. I’m 15 now and I still don’t know what to do. I’ve always tried to […]
I’ve been wanting to kill myself ever since I was 10. That’s a little over three years now all that has changed is that I actually tried it four times so far.
So, I am a boy. I grew up with my mom who is really sentimental and everything so I feel like I got a lot of that emotional site. I am not strong and always felt like it separated me from the other boys. I always had more girl friends, but that’s mostly also because I am not really into soccer/football and all the boys always only wanted to play that on the school […]
Am I the only one that doesn’t want to have to depend on medication to be the rest of my life? Because I went to the doctors the other day and he said that I’m going to have to be on medication all my life. And if I don’t take my low doses now then my suicidal thoughts will just get worse… I don’t want to have to depend on medication all my life… 🙁
Right in front of my mom. So suicidal. ‘It kills me”.
What a ghast.
She knew what I was doing..
This will be my last note to everyone. I lay awake waiting for something to happen, waiting for someone to text me, waiting for forgiveness, waiting…. That’s all I’ve done with my life. I’ve been waiting to end all of this. Everyday I wake up, I go to school because it’s easier not to think there. I’m sitting at a table where no one wants me there. I’ve gave up with wanting to fit into a group. When I’m not there no one thinks about me. No one loves me enough to call them theirs. Theirs no place for me here. I started thinking about […]
I told my wife that last week I was deeply depressed, and we processed by feelings. If I had told her that I was severely depressed that would have had undesirable and unintended consequences. This morning I told her that I felt better which in some self-delusional sense is true. But I also told her that I thought of suicide, and it’s as if she was shocked. Last year I had a major depressive episode and had acute suicidal ideations. I told her that I expected that I would suffer with suicidal thoughts at least for the foreseeable future and maybe even for the […]
I have been depressed and suicidal for many years. My desire to accomplish some of the goals that I have in life is the only thing that is keeping me alive. Experiencing a peaceful death is one of the goals that I have. It is a privilege that very few people that are suicidal get to experience.
I don’t believe that a suicidal person should have to experience negative emotions like fear, anger, and sadness during their final moments. I believe that a bullet to the head is always the best way to go. The death will always be quick and painless if the gun is […]
The past few years of my life haven’t been the best i may say, i always feel like i’m under water, like Ariel (the little mermaid) except that i can’t breath, i’m dying, gasping for hair watching all around me, people who sees me but don’t understand, people who hear the horrible sound that i make but don’t listen, people who talk about knowledge but are really ignorant to the fact that i’m gasping for hair, i’m reaching desperately for a hand that is not there.
During a long period of time i stay there not breathing but somethings was wrong really wrong, i just wouldn’t […]
I joined SuicideProject.org last night and thought I’d introduce myself:
I have battled severe depression (and later suicidal feelings) since I was a teenager. I kept everything to myself until a few years ago when I revealed to everybody in my life what I had been going through. I won‘t say things have been perfect since then, but they have improved – I guess you could say I have been in “suicidal remission.”
Anyway, that’s the summarized version of my story. I plan to pop in here whenever I feel I have something constructive to add. I used to be quite good at helping people with their […]
I feel like i need to come clean. But I can’t talk to anyone without terrifying repercussions.
I want help, but help might be taking away every reason I have to live for.
What happens to suicidal people who reach out for help?
I’ve tried talking to therapists. After an hour (an expensive hour) most look at me wide eyed with shock. “That’s where you teach? Those are the kids you work with? What do you do when you don’t feel safe at work?”
Or sympathetic, “I’m so sorry that you are losing the use of your legs. It must be awful to be in pain all the […]
that’s basically why I’m here.
I’ve never really had many friends, even at school there was three girls in my primary class. We all got along okay i suppose but we didn’t have any long lasting friendships. When I came to secondary I made a few friends here and there mostly following my cousin about and tricked myself into ‘thinking’ i was one of her group’s members. Now i have one friend. This isn’t a post about how since i have one friend that i think i ahould commit suicide.. i’m just saying that one girl is the closest friend i have, we talk everyday yet […]
After 9 years of thinking about suicide every day (first time I ever thought about it I was about 9, I’m now 22) I finally decided to let everyone know. In October I texted my mother & husband about it. My husband’s response was an atypical caring one, “just hold on” “you’re strong” “you can make it.” “we’ll survive together” etc. You know the garbage anyone spews at someone who comes forward professing their suicidal thoughts. My mother however took the atypical rude approach, “so many people have it so much worse” “you have no idea what it’s really like to struggle” “you’re life has […]
Who understands what this feels like. Who knows the pain I’m in. Who lives with suicidal thoughts everyday of their life. I don’t want to die but I don’t want to be here. Does anybody understand? I am a 24 year old queer female who is lost and struggles with alcoholism/addiction issues. Is there anybody out there that could relate/talk to me?
Help me, I need help. I can’t stop cutting.. deeper and deeper. My suicidal thoughts are just growing stronger and stronger. I can almost not control them. I’ve wanted to commit suicide so many times. But I can’t. My depression and anxiety are taking over. Help me.. please.. I don’t know what to do. HELP.
For nearly a month now, I have lost so many things in a matter of seconds, I never have time to cope with any of it, and I just can’t take the pain anymore as well… Seems like for as long as I can remember all I’ve gotten to feel is pain, pain, pain and more pain… Endless, never ending and unrelenting amounts of pain… It just never stops… it just keeps growing and growing, like an ocean that expands over the land, swallowing all in its path.
There just doesn’t seem to be any reason for me to exist at all anymore, no one wants […]
I want to tell you something. To be honest, it’s hardly exciting, but hey, won’t you listen anyway? It’s- it’s my story. Who knows, maybe you’ll incorporate something from my tale into yours, something positive I hope. Perhaps that will make my story meaningful in some way.
Today I lost my final bastion of support. But really, I can only blame myself at this point; truly, I should have either gotten a lot better by now. The past 10 months has witnessed me trying to hang myself a countless quantity of times. Pardon the unimaginative phrasing, but I am utterly, utterly dead and wasted inside. I’ve […]
” We little knew the day that
God was going to call your name.
In life we loved you dearly,
In death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you
But you didn’t go alone.
For part of us went with you
The day God called you home.
You left us peaceful memories.
Your love is still our guide,
And though we cannot see you
You are always at our side.
Our family chain is broken
and nothing seems the same,
but as God calls us one by one
the chain will link again. “