Somebody in my philosophy class last semester suggested that maybe life is hell. She said, look at all the suffering and pain, doesn’t it seem sort of hellish the things that so many people have to go through? I didn’t know what to think then but now I believe her. This feels like hell, it hurts like hell. The emotional pain I have experienced as a result of depression is absolutely indescribable. There are no words. The feeling of wanting to die is so strong at times that it terrifies me. I know I am capable of acting on it. But I can’t, because I […]
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Suicide
I have an important assignment for school, that I NEED to do today, it’s already like a week late, and it basically determines if I graduate from high school. But I can’t work on it. My mind is reeling, it’s not ordered, it’s not focused, its all over the place. I NEED to do this assignment but I can’t. I just keep thinking about all my fuckups. I keep remembering the last time I was happy, and I want to go back there. I want to but I can’t it’s in the past and I can’t get it back. I’ve been so unhappy for so […]
i don’t really understand why i think about killing myself all the time. the feeling and thoughts don’t even derive from bad memories or events. they’re simply always there.
people tell me all the time to realize that my life isn’t bad, but that’s not the problem, im aware of that.
it’s just, i think i’m the problem. that I don’t deserve to be here. but what the fuck did i even do wrong?
i try my best to be respectable, i care about people who don’t even give two shits about me, others always come before myself. i try to be good, i think i am pretty decent.
so why […]
Over the course of my short 26 years of life, I have attempted suicide on no less than 8 occasions.
From the age of 11, I was bullied at school, tormented and tortured by grown men who’d wait for me after school and not to mention the troubles I was working through at home and struggling to admit the fact that I am gay, even to myself.
All of this plus a few other reasons landed me in therapy.
From the age of 11 onwards I saw one psychotherapist after another and I’ve been on so many medications that it’s hard to be certain of the exact number. […]
You think your being strong
But it’s unintentional suicide
There’s no pills on your tongue
But it’s like you’re on anodyne
You think you’re getting better
But you don’t know if it still hurts
The ‘better’ you get the less that you feel
Is this the way we think we heal?
I Realized How Depressing Society Gets. Judgmental, Bipolar, Childish People.. No Wonder People Cut. No Wonder People Commit Suicide. No Wonder..I Give Up.
My mother pushes me to the point where sometimes at night, I grab a kitchen knife and head towards her room and stand there, and watch her sleep…I feel the urge to stab her, and just end all the misery she gives me….but cause I’ll be studying law soon, my legal sense kicks in…and I do not want to spend 25 to life in prison….maybe I should murder her, then commit suicide…pondering many ideas….but haven’t chose one yet..
And just now we were in the car…and she was yelling at me, because she wanted to go somewhere and I didn’t know where it was but some how […]
Can someone help me?
What is the most painless way to suicide?
I’m thinking pills..
I just don’t see the use of living anymore. I’ve had 4 breakdowns and each one gets worse. Nobody understands. I don’t have money so the only therapy I got was a grad student in psych. He’s a nice guy but not enough to scrap me off the wall. People say suicide is about wanting to end the pain, not so much about wanting to end your life. But I’m always in physical and emotional pain and yeah, I want it to end. BUT when you can’t get the help you need to get better, why fight it anymore? […]
Even though I’m not depressed anymore and nothing bad is happening. I still consider suicide, I know for a fact that’s the way I’m going to die. I’m clear headed and everything. I’m most likely going to OD on heroin or drown myself (: And I don’t listen to people saying “Ohhh your going to hell” There’s not 1 verse in the bible that is against suicide, and it’s not the unforgivable sin 😀
My meds probably have me all “happy” and shet, I hate it I’m not really happy, I’m on drugs for christ sake lol. ANYONE ELSE think the way their gunna die is […]
It’s getting easier and easier to pretend the rest of the world doesn’t exist.
Thinking about suicide used to vaguely panic me somewhere in my brain, whereas now it’s more of a comfort. It feels familiar. I like reminding myself that it is an option.
I’m going to go to the GP and tell him i’m not sleeping. I’ll keep the sleeping tablets in my room just in case. I just need to know I have them there.
Part of me thinks I should try and fix my head while I’m still not immediately wanting to die right now. Most of me can’t see the point. I wish […]
I’ve come to the realization that living with these suicidal thoughts will probably never go away. This is my first time trying out an online community for suicide/depression or what have you because I feel I am running out of options. I feel I have no one who I can talk to in my life about these issues due to the deep shame that comes with them. Even though I feel I have a good support system, I don’t like feeling like I’m burdening those I love with all this I go through on a daily basis.
Getting to the point, I’ve realized that I am too scared to actually […]
Who can point a finger at what’s not understood, when you can’t explain why you don’t know a thing
He’s always got his headphones in and he talks to no one, he has a frown on his face and dresses in dark shadesÂ
He sits by himself, alone all the time, when he tries to talk, you all look with judging eyes, but he’s not dumb, he ain’t blind
And maybe he goes home and thinks suicide
Who can point a finger at what’s not understood, when you can’t explain why you don’t know a thing
She’s always been a slut, always been so fun, but she’s trying […]
Thinking about suicide everyday…thats where I am in life now. Smoking when I’m not always on the move, smoking when I am on the move, thinking about suicide during it all…. I can’t just sit by and feel this hurt anymore. I can’t let those around me shove me towards progress when I’m just getting worse. They don’t understand how hard it is for me…how hurt I am… All they care about is that in the next month I am better. That’s how its been told to me. I don’t need sympathy or pity. I just want death.
Why should i go on?There’s nothing here for me.I don’t help anyone.all i do is hurt everyone. There’s tons of people i know,some of them i even call ”friends”,but if i were to die right this minute,what would those fellas miss?Besides free meals,clean toilets,and entertainment I’m just that girl you invite to your party as eye candy.Fuck that,no thanks.I don’t belong to this world.Oh and as for the boy i spent the last year of my life bending over backwards for to make happy.The one who got me pregnant and left,leaving me to handle the abortion today.alone.Fuck you,sweetheart.And stop antagonizing me,you’re gonna fucking kill me,you […]
I don’t know if this website is for this type of comment but I’m going to post it anyway just to empty my head. I have seriously been pondering suicide for the past few weeks (again) and have gotten down to a few ways to do so. My dilemma is my precious dog, who is my companion and that I love more than anything. He is so very dependent on me that he will not leave my side for any reason. My problem is what will become of him if I leave this ugly world? I don’t know anyone who would give him the love […]
I hate people, I have never stop hating them. Seriously, they make everything looks ugly, my life, my dreams and even myself. I sometimes wonder when I’m going to explode, either way, it’s gonna be awful.
They say you can’t choose your family, and that’s sad. I found out later that you can’t choose your friends, too. I always stick with the  wrong people and that’s proof  how much I’m lucky.
Death itself is not a choice, I have never felt that I’m ready to die. I still have this urge and curiosity for living. Maybe I need to be more sane so I can see […]
I like contributing to this site. I don’t think I help anyone. I feel like I only share. I relate. I feel normal here.
That being said, I am tired of being so sad. I don’t think I can be any other way. Not for the long haul. The thought of being like “this” another 30 some odd years makes me feel nauseous. The thought of doing that alone or around people I despise… I just shudder to think about being stuck in that way.
Over the years I have heard so many mantras, tips, and tricks that make my head spin. They don’t work for me. […]
Why is it that children are not educated on mental illness? As a 4th grader I remember promising myself I would never do drugs. It was nailed into our head that we would be pressured into things like drugs, alcohol, and sex. We were taught we were at risk of giving into peer pressure, we were always taught to say no, but why weren’t we also taught that the chances of having a mental illness is extremely high before we even get out of high school? Why didn’t someone explain that when everything seems so out of control, it’s not okay to starve, it’s not […]
I wonder if I am talking to myself.
I cannot remember a day when I have not thought about suicide. Someone wise stated that thoughts of this kind are solace, they get one through many a bad night.
Extraordinarily lonely. Have been unable to call out for help. Helium or pills? Both perhaps? Add some cutting and alcohol.
Oddly, I think I am amazing at concealing how I feel. I am exhausted. I would so, so, so love a hug.
Pathetic really.
Scared of a failing. Scared of panic. Can’t be bothered with the suicide note thing. Guess I am maturing. Dead silence.