The contains of this life are far more extraordinary beyond the four walls I’m imprisoned by. The expansions of my sight reign from corner to corner, not from valley to green field after family of song birds. I aspire to be, not to see, but to hold, not to flutter past. I anticipate the flight – flight to passage. Not the body working, but the heart impaired with soul. The emotion and pain far too great to subside with overjoy. The sun – what is “sun?” A large, yellow, imperative – to – life element? But if not there, would we partake in adaption? The […]
You have to,
Jump in with the sharks.
They won’t eat you,
unless you let them.
You dodge and dive,
swim like,
your going for the gold medal.
And it will be all worth it.
You can’t kill them,
or pretend,
They aren’t there.
But you swim,
and eventually,
They are with you,
and you smile,
as the sunlight beams through the sea.
and it’s beautiful.
Because they know you so well,
as you know them.
But you jumped in.
And that’s all that you can do,
to help yourself.
If I could try to describe the way I feel it would be like an egg without anything inside. Then imagine that same egg being put under intense pressure. smashed broken and shattered….Its like this feeling in the center of my chest….not physical pain….but it just feels like darkness and despair. Â I can laugh at things that make me laugh but its absent of happiness…. I cant genuinely smile at anything. I don’t appreciate or value anything life has to offer. The sunlight has become dull and gray and when its dull and gray outside that is sunshine to me. A flower looks like a […]
She stares out through the front window
Of her small one story home
A shadow won’t be cast down on that carpet anymore
Who knew that sunlight could be so cold
She lies down on the bed
Thoughts trailing of blood run through her head
She knows why the sky is blue
Don’t ask me why she knew
She stands up again
Light shines on her thin hand
Her days are numbered like sands
Through an hourglass
Her shadow will be no longer
Cast down on the now blood-red floor
She thought that she was stronger
Not to stay there anymore
Yes, she thought she was strong
What she thought was so wrong
In the end she was so weak
For deciding to not […]
this is so beautiful
it calms me right down
like a river with the water slipping over the rocks sparkling with sunlight in the water
just calms me down
You Me At Six – Tigers And Sharks
Emarosa – Heads or Tails Real Or Not
10 – Short Stories With Tragic Endings
Sunlight creeps in through the gaps in the window blinds, covering the room in alternating strips of brilliant radiance and undefined shadow. It bares resemblance to this life. Fulgent memories of pain and suffering, with unremarkable and colorless […]
There is a man, clad in black
Who follows me around
Wherever I go
He is feared by many
But not by me—not usually
He used to follow me from a distance
Teasing me, staying just out of sight
But now, whenever I turn my head
I see him looking over my shoulder
Always there, a silent companion,
A guardian, I pray
My dear silent companion
Bold and unafraid
I cannot seem to shake him
No matter where I hide or turn
But I want him to stay;
Without him I’m afraid
I hate him when I lie awake
And he wiggles […]
So we sit together here, I squeeze your frozen hands bare,
The lights are gone from your eyes, Baby, I am willing to let go all my keys.
A dark twisting path lies at bay, I have lost my lantern to light your way.
You say it hurts to even swallow.
Tell me, why is even a smile so mellow?
Every night I kiss your forehead, with dreams of fairy tales to read.
I keep on telling myself to believe, “Yes, yes, tomorrow she will live.”
Rain covers all the lands with passion, my eyes have grown impatient.
You say it hurts to even swallow.
Tell me, will the future be a mere shadow?
Hold […]
I have a feeling. I don’t know what it is. It’s there, sinking like a stone through water. Any progress I’ve made seems, at times like this, to be nothing more than acrobatics on the way down.
It’s like standing in an empty field, devoid of all life, with permeating heat but no sunlight. There is nobody to ask for help, nothing to do but walk forward until you collapse from dehydration or starvation.
Everything is distracting. Like having your attention torn from something you were immersed in, over and over again. It’s frustrating. Nothing gets done. Soon, you forget what you were trying to do in […]
Written to a dear friend, who helped me live the sweetest lie. I’ve often contemplated suicide and have attempted and, as you can obviously tell, failed to actually kill myself. My dearest friend, Matthew, who’s name has been changed due to privacy issues, and I dated for a year. This is my last letter to him, sent to him only a few days before his death. He was found in his garage with the engine running not long after his death, and soon I hope to join him.
I’m tired of this life, tell me a lie.
Do me a favor; tell me I’ll be missed if I […]
That feeling of nothing where I move from place to place not smiling or laughing, not caring or caring.
Some would call this being present. Present and detached. All the demands made on me are met with silence. Even my own needs are met with silence.
Though I feel like crying I’m just to lacking in anything to do so. If tears fall let them for they will not affect me.
I’ve always been able to relate to some other in some small way, but very very few the other way around. And it’s ok now because it no longer affects me.
Like a favourite movie, […]
ive lost everything. My money, my friends, my family, my job. People keep telling me “oh you’re only 16 you’ve got your whole life ahead of you” but I know that’s total bs. Of those 16 years, I’ve been depressed for 6 and I’ve wanted to die for 4. I don’t want to see what life brings in 30 years. Because I already know what it’s gonna be like. Me miserable, alone, broke, probably homeless living off booze weed and ramen I cook using trash fires and a pot I stole from walmart. Trying to find a way to die but unable to actually do […]
Once I had a fabulous career and I was on top of the world but that all ended 5 years ago and I still can’t move on. I’ve been on different meds and they work for a while but the dark moods always return. I’m too young to retire and too old to find a decent job. I work for selfish evil people who have no respect for me. I sold my soul for a paycheck. I just want to feel good about myself but I can’t make it work. I work to make enough money to send my […]
Dont know what this day will take me ,Dont know if ill see that sunlight with the newyork lights for another day. After midnight everything is up to your dreams but what if the dream visions me not being able to sleep nor see. Maybe ill sit by the bridge waiting for my world to ended or maybe ill think of ending it standin on the edge prepare to die ..