So it’s actually a beautiful day today. The sun is shining and its actually warm outside. Everyone always seem to enjoy the sunshine. People are happier and less annoyed and it only makes me more irritated. It only reminds me more of how miserable I feel.
I cant even fucking smoke my weed because every one of my neighbours are outside. And if I just go outside and leave the house for a few minutes my mom will ask me what I was doing. Where do you go for 5 minutes but you need to leave the house? Also since I couldnt smoke all day […]
I met this girl. She is absolutely amazing. But that’s not the point. The point is I realised I was selfish. I realised that suicide wasn’t an option. What I mean is this girl I adored I found out she had cancer. All I could think about was how unfair life was. I cried a couple days just thinking about her. I felt helpless. After finding out how se had no control over her life it made me mad. All I can think about was how could people take life like its nothing. When my friends death was already determined. How could they throw there […]
I wanna save people. But I don’t always know how or what to say. I honestly cry when I was writing this. I wanna save you so bad. But I am scared that I can’t. I don’t think I can save everyone. That terrifies me. Why can’t I save everyone. Why does anyone have to die. I realised that I can’t save everyone. It breaks my heart.
Xoxo
Sunshine
Dear amazing,
I love you. I want you to know that I will always be here for you. I won’t be there when it’s just convenient but I will be there always. I will accept you with loving and open arms. I know you arnt perfect and I know that I am not perfect either. I love you for it. I love every little imperfection and absolutely everything about you. I wanna be your biggest fan. I wanna cheer your life on. I wanna be the person you can trust. I wanna be the light at the end of the tunnel. I want you to […]
I guess I should start from the beginning. My name is Sunshine. Well not really, but its an alias. I don’t care if my punctuation is that great either. I have been there. Maybe my life hasn’t been as bad as a lot of people, but I am fighting my own demons. I have always felt like an outsider. I have a list of things wrong with me. I don’t currently take any medication for anything either. I have attempted suicide as well as have cut in the past. I still get very depressed every so often. And I don’t like talking about it because […]
There are 14,046 posts on this site.
All these words spilt trying to articulate sorrow, anguish.
I don’t want to add to that. I’m writing anyways.
I fell in love, nearly two years ago. Head over heels. Completely knocked out with love. Rare sunshine, and walking home from school, him my shadow. We met up and kissed, but you see I was worried in case people gave me sh*t for it, I was fourteen and he was sixteen. Obly two years, and I don’t know why I let it stop me from being with him. So for a month we texted blah blah bah and […]
soooooo here are a few more
knowing that we are best friends. because you said so.
knowing you trust me enough to tell me something you wouldn’t tell anyone else that isn’t family.
pressing flowers that others label as weeds
taking beautiful photos (at least i think so) of said flowers
here, i’ll let you be the judge of that:
so, what do you think?
also, my butterfly project shall be transferred to my decade-old backpack. therefore […]
okay, some more….
pressing flowers (come on, little duuude! open up!)
taking photographs of beauuuuutiful flowers!
walking outside in shortshorts at night and not even being cold
balmy yet comfortable summer nights. yeah, kinda reiterated the last one ^^^.
that is all for now, folks!
(start your own!!!!!!!!!!)
hey, guess what! i thought up some more!
AtTheEnd and those apples….
hippies
Woodstock
yum. tea.
popcorn
churros
chinese food
that feeling in the air after a nice storm of cleanliness and fresh beginnings
knowing y’all care
some nice lightning displays
those adorable couples who hug each other in public
my butterflies
singing in the rain
giving others hope
donating hair
tweeting #MyRaysOfSunshine for all to see! (y’all should join in! let’s make it a trending topic!)
receiving texts
emails, too!
oooo, and i LOVE getting letters in the mail!
that’s all for now, folks! y’all come back now, ya here?
Sometimes it’s easier to speak to someone you don’t know and we all need someone to talk to… so here’s my e-mail to anybody who needs someone to talk to. I’ll try to check it as often as i can, and I reply to everyone and anything you say is absolutely and extremely confidential. Absolutely no judgement and I’ll try my best to help you in any way that I can. You’re all valuable and worth saving. So please if you need someone to speak to, I’m here for you as well as many people on this site, so do not hesitate. You’re my sunshine, […]
hey guys! if you have a twitter, tweet a few of your rays of sunshine under the hashtag, #MyRaysOfSunshine! i just want to see how many we can get tweeted! who knows, we may just start a trend! @sillybabypanda
Thanks so much for the positive feedback! It really means the world to me. I’m so happy that I’m actually getting through  to even just one of you. If I could help inspire just one person in the slightest bit, then all these posts are absolutely worth every second of my time. Each and everyone of you are worth it.
You guys are my sunshine. So beautiful and so vital. I hope you guys realize that you’re all so special.
I don’t know what caused you to give up on yourselves, but no matter what the reason is, there is hope and things […]
I was picked up out of my home and thrown into a mental hospital on 12/30/2011 for a week so it really thwarted my plans of ctb before the new year. I left the hospital with a false sense of optimism, and now I’m sitting in my apartment on suicide websites again…..feeling like my soul is dead and I’m just going through the motions because that’s what I was told to do. Truth be told, I have no idea what the next day or weeks ahead of me hold….I know today was a shitty day, not sure when the glimmer of sunshine will show through […]
I don’t know why I came to this website, other than to get all of my suicidal thoughts out. I have struggled with depression for a while, but lately I have felt more suicidal than depressed. I’m going to the local community college in my town. I can’t put this into words right now. Every day I’m there I feel these intense feelings come over me. I feel alone. I know I am alone, even though there are plenty of people around me. The sunshine doesn’t make me happy at all. In fact, it makes me angry and upset because the heat is so unbearable. I’m […]
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