With Kirsten Dunst and it’s the story of another planet colliding into earth. The movie made me think of how I don’t have “special people” to cuddle under a stick tent with as the world ends, and how nothing has any meaning anyway because it all gets destroyed. I hate thinking about how short life is; it makes me want to go and squeeze the love out of every person I see and suck their souls out like a death eater until I’m satisfied. How does one really “live” enough?
I didn’t want to be this way, I didn’t ask for it. I have such a fortunate life but i feel so empty , so hollow. I’m wasting what was given to me but what can i do. Oh god I’m falling apart, WHATS WRONG WITH ME !! How can i unsee it ?! All the suffering in the world, the fucked up parts of human nature. Everyone seems to be completely oblivious to it. It;s everywhere though , and my old argument the the small good things outweighs the bad is beginning to crumble. Because that is a fantasy. In this life, the quiet guy doesn’t get the girl, the hero doesn’t save the world and nobody finds happiness. […]
Just that moment when you realize that you’ll never make it.
I’ve tried to move forward, socialized, made friends, set goals. And I’ve just discovered that no matter how badly I try, I won’t get there. I won’t finish in the top university, I won’t get into shape, I won’t be beautiful. This never actually would bother me, but I think that I’m envious of my friends dating – just knowing that no girl or guy would ever look at me and thing ‘that’s somebody I could love’.
I know I’ve felt like the world was ending before. But I feel like my whole life has been […]
I really hate how I can tell someone to keep going when I know that I can’t keep going myself.
I hate how I’m there for everyone but when I need someone, all I have is myself.
I hate how I cry myself to sleep at night because I have actual problems and yet, there are kids my age who’s only problem is whether or not they want to actually vacation in Paris this month or not.
I hate how people don’t care about certain things like homelessness and bankruptcy until they have to experience it first hand.
I […]
I’ve felt as though my entire existence has been pointless ever since I was about 13. 13 being the time I began being severely depressed as well. My mom has never really cared about me and I don’t even know what my dad looks like. As a kid I would get picked on a lot and had nobody to talk to because if I brought it up to my mom she would either agree with the person bullying me or just say something much worse. With that I began just keeping everything in. The only people who have ever cared about me are my grandmother […]
Well I convinced my mum to get a one bedroom place and a cheap one has popped up and on the other note I bought a people mover diesel van where the seats fold down swivel around into a bed. I have decided I can live like a camper for a while which comes with added responsibilities and room for struggle of loneliness and growth who knows I might meet some great people or tourists on my ventures.
I plan to get a gas cooker, tinned food, rice water etc and live cheaply around the country for a while I might even be able to save […]
I realize that I am a worthless piece of shit that doesn’t deserve anything in life. I pretend that I am smart or pretty, but I am none of those. If I were truly anything in this world, there would not be prostitutes to cheat on me with, other girls to cheat on me with, men telling me that I’m ugly. Yes, that’s multiples. It hasn’t only happened once to me, and it’s no coincidence. I am the world’s ugliest woman, and people think I am dumb enough to buy their stories. People don’t think I deserve any respect, and I probably don’t. Married couples […]
Is religion real? if so, which one? i was raised christian, and i still am even after everything that has happened. I believe he was around to save the world. But many religions have key figures. What the heck? what does it all mean? does it even matter to try and figure this stuff out? does heaven exist in any form? Im poor, we dont ask ourselves these kinds of questions, we just try to keep living. I honestly dont want to live anymore (if i cant get my health issues fixed, or find a job), but what is the point of it all? i […]
Well today started out today then it got worse. the thought of me losing him. Why is it that some of the best things in my life never seem to last. I mean we’ve been dating for a few months and now due to him losing his apartment and job from reasons beyond his control. He might have to move back in with his parents in another state more than 5,000 miles away. If this does happen I’m thinking about cutting him off completely. I honestly can not deal with any more heartbreak and I don’t want both of us to suffer by dealing with […]
I’m new here. This is my first post.
I served in Afghanistan. I’ve seen some of the most evil shit imaginable. I used to carry a pack full of gear, ammunition, ordinance, etc…
Now I carry a pack full of insecurity, self doubt, self hatred, and sadness. How did I end up here? How come some men can stow their shit away and never look at it again, and others (such as myself) cannot? I’ve been nearly killed on several occasions, but I’m still here. The only things that bring me happiness are my kids, my girl, and a V Twin with wheels. I’ve become indifferent as […]
I’m 19 years old. My name isn’t important. I live on a farm, with sheep and crops, and wheat, and machinery. I’ve been depressed and anxious my whole life. Even when I was 14 years old, I was self-harming. I hadn’t self harmed or attempted suicide in 5 years. But to day got the best of me.
I walked to my partners car and opened the boot, before pulling our one of the ropes. He keeps them there encase be gets bogged so […]
homelessness, chronic unemployment,prison, death, or living with abusive family. bad health (that can be fixed), and a bad life. all because im on only child, im poor, and i spent years in college instead of a job. i had so much to offer the world. doesnt mater anymore, now all that matters is whether there is an afterlife or not. i accept my fate (though i still am fighting for a decent job). oh yes, most black men end up dead or in prison. why do you think that is? i didnt beat the odds. i accept my fate. i hope the afterlife is painless.
As someone who has educated myself on psychology, mental health, neurology, and philosophy, and have various mental illnesses (PTSD, Personality disorders of the Paranoid, Addictive, Dependent, and Avoidant type, OCD, ADHD and Major Depressive Disorder), not only can I evaluate myself, but feel as if I have a greater understanding on my own situation and others in similar situations than the people who counsel me. Not to brag (I’m not a pride type of person), but most psychologist and councelers I been to said that I am very intelligent, articulate, and incredibly self aware compared to there other clients. Some even told me that I […]
I really don’t know what to feel about myself at the moment. I’m not sure how to word this, but I just go ahead anyway. I’ve recently been watching Onision videos since he popped out on my Recommended List.
I checked out his videos on cutting on a whim, and frankly speaking, he’s super blunt. I’m not going to lie, the way he says it all, about how cutting is ‘attention whoring’, and that cutters are ‘stupid, and crazy’ kinda hit me hard. He says that I should be grateful that I have a roof over my head and a good education and all the opportunities […]
nothing irritates me more than being compared to others. If I say I’m a fuck up, don’t ask if I’m the most fucked up person in the world. If I am sad, don’t tell me “at least you aren’t homeless, broke, abused” whatever. Don’t tell me how people have it worse or how small and irrelevant my problems are. They’re still fucking issues that effect me. Don’t make me feel small, unnecessary, irrelevant. That is the most shallow thing someone can say to another person on a suicide website, a suicide network. Fuck you. Sadness isn’t a competition.
I’m a failure. There are so many things happening right now. My mother works so hard to put food on the table while fighting depression and a damn father who doesn’t give any money to help. And even with all this situation, I don’t know if I’ll be able to graduate because I’m so fucking stupid and lazy and weak. I’m just so fucking tired all the time and my cousin will get into a great college because she is working so hard and I’m just a damn lazy ass. I don’t study or really work for anything and I’m so tired of being a […]
Your pain is truly tragic.
You hoped and dreamed.
However the world just
isn’t they way you planned.
It isn’t what you imagined.
Yet you sit here and say
“I will kill myself,
and make the pain go away.”
But it’s just a hope,
that something is better.
That leaving is going to be grand.
But what if,
it’s not quite,
what you hoped,
and dreamed,
it would be.
It’s not what you
Imagined,
not what you wanted.
Well doll,
there’s no going back.
I have been feeling so down these past few days emotionally mostly out of loneliness and past thoughts haunting me. I really want to go down to the local festival tonight. But I don’t want to go a lone. It gets depressing watching the happy couples walk around and the groups of friends. My dating life is pretty much in the pits right now. I have talked to a few guys since me and my ex broke up but they led to no where and I got to be honest most of the single guys around my area suck! well due to the fact that […]
OK so today the voices were on and on about shit. Then this entity began making shit funny. It makes light of the dark shit that can surround my soul sometimes.
They modify words get carried away with songs, make me hear shit that ain’t there but sounds like it is. But I’m too smart for the voices I know its them. I have at least 6 or 7 different characters that come and go. Everything from little girls to evil entities that curse and swear and crack me up. That’s when they’re not trying to make me suicidal.
I’m trying to find successful stories of Schizo’s […]