Ahem. *clears throat* Awkward. TnT Fuck. Anxiety. Let’s see. Lost 3 friends to suicide. 1 had recently attempted. Idk. I used to have a whole group of friends. Depression came by for a visit. Boom. Became distant and just closed myself up from everyone. Avoiding people all day at school unless I’m stuck with a partner. Realized no one gives a shit about me disappearing. Yep. *becomes air* Probably going to fail school because I’m skipping classes to avoid having anxiety attacks even though I still have them. Holy horseshit I’m probably sounding like some little shit right now. *face palms* How did I even […]
My life has always been filled with emptiness. I have never had motivation or aspirations. I completely lack in ambition. There is nothing I want to achieve no goals I want to accomplish. I have no hope for the future because I don’t want anything. If there is nothing you want what is there to hope for? I suppose the only thing I want is the desire to want. Life isn’t bad it just seems so empty and pointless and meaningless. I am not really attached to anything or anyone. I avoid people not because I hate people I am not misanthropic I just find […]
I’m new to this site because I’ve not really had reason to seek it out until recently. I’ve lurked quietly and read peoples’ stories because I found a sense of catharsis from witnessing and understanding that I’m not the only person who can feel this low. I think my story won’t be popular or creative and some may even scoff at me and think I’m a spoilt brat, but it’s my story and my life and it feels very real to me.
I’m a 21 year-old male, I grew up in a fairly privileged household where my parents provided materially but were never emotionally there. They’re […]
no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your
imagination
I should be dead by now. But I’m not. Why? Because of him. One person. There are so many people in the world and he had to come into my life. I cannot understand what he saw in me and what he apparently still sees in me. I love so many other people but I was willing to leave it all behind because I just couldn’t be happy anymore, but now I am. I haven’t been in love in years. I fell in love with him as quickly as I made the decision to end my life. I don’t get why this happened. I don’t get it.
I […]
You know that saying, in the end no one dies a virgin because life fucks us all? Well, why don’t we think of it this way, in the end, your not really that important to human life like thomas edison or albert einstein, we are just parasites clinging to the crest of the earth trying to live, and yet, we still try to be someone we’re not, we try to be one of those popular people even though we like nothing the other popular people like, we try to make our mark on the world even though we don’t even know how. So, think of […]
My first memory was when I was three, I was in a store and running from my father, I had this little pony tail, and my dad grabbed it and pulled me back, slamming the back of my head onto the ground. I don’t remember anything after that… and then the next memory I remember is when I was at this “Mental Hospital” I was about 5 years old, and had just woken up inside this room, there was no padding, there was a vinyl floor, everything was white or close to it, there was no toilet, no sink, no bed, no cot, no pillow, […]
Many of you saw my previous plead for help, and lots of you answered the call and it’s much appreciated. I hope you all read my update post from yesterday because I mention all of you and express my gratitude in great length, haha. Anyhow, I’ll keep this short and sweet. I’m going to be making posts like this once every 1 or 2 days, because the more people who see it and share it, the more likely I am to reach my goal.
I really appreciate all of you for caring about me so much, and for donating and/or sharing. It really has […]
I feel that the world should pay and those i envy should feel my pain. Why cant i be like him, he is beautiful fits in and finds friends anywhere. I lock myself away from the world my soul it hollows every day. When i feel pain it makes me feel alive again, oh what i would do to feel joy and to be alive. I wish we could trade places but then i dont wish this feeling on anyone to everyone. Sometimes i want to go out on a bang so my message could be hurd unlike every other suicide that is forgotten. Other […]
Hey guys,
Firstly, thank you all for being so awesome to me these last like 6 months. You have seriously been the best people and are always so encouraging and helpful and try to make me and everyone else feel better about whatever crappy situation has us bummed out.
Thank you to all who have donated money, shared my link to spread awareness, and/or offered encouragement. You guys are awesome, and I can’t thank you enough. I would hug you all if I could. You have restored my faith in humanity and proven that people can help one another in times of need. Amazing. Seriously gonna cry […]
people in school thinks im the happiest girl in the world, but honestly, i am not. at home, i am the reckless one. i have 4 siblings. i’m the middle child. all of them feels so loved and appreciated while im here picking up all the hand me downs and the things left for me. i am always the “target” of my mom. when my big brother fails a quiz, she doesn’t get mad at him, but instead she supports him and allow him to party anytime he wants and gives him anything he wants. same goes to my sister and brothers. me? she scolds […]
I’m fairly certain I come from a long line of diagnosed and un-diagnosed mental illness. My maternal great-grandmother committed suicide when my grandmother was eleven. Unfortunately, I never really took the time to ask my grandmother how it effected her as a child and an adult, and now she’s recently passed. I have been diagnosed as bipolar by two psychiatrists, but when I returned to one of those doctors recently after a couple years gap, she seems to be rethinking that diagnosis. I’m not seeing a professional right now because I have a hard time justifying spending $50 to see the therapist every week, plus […]
When Finnegan pisses off his best bud Charlie Chow Mein, he gets flipped over and sat on. That cat don’t take crap from anybody be it human or dog. That’s me. Wicked Irish temper.
Then there’s the underdog. Poor guy just wanted to play. Granted, body slamming the cat while he was trying to jump on a chair was a bad way to say, “Hey dude, lets play tag or something!” Now he is paying for it with the weight of the world on […]
I dont want sex, I dont want children, nor father or mother, brother or sister. No matter how hard I try to distance myself from others my body craves warmth. I just want warmth, to hold someone regardless of gender, to feel safe even as the world crumbles to dust. No words, no thoughts, just the sound of leaves rustling in heavenly wind, the smell of fragrant flowers eternally blooming in my dream, and the feeling of another close to me as I sleep eternal. Would any of you be so kind as to look pass the base desire for procreation […]
Where is he. This omnipotent, omnipresent so called benevelent being that people fall to their knees and give all the glory. He seems completely indifferent to our suffering as we are indifferent to suffering of ants (such simple delicate little creatures) as they are crushed under our feet and we don’t even give it a second thought? If we are truly his children then ask yourself this; If you had a child would test his virtue with tribulations like disease, famine, pestilence, war and natural disasters? If so then what kind of parent are you? Think of the acursed realms of the world; sudan, palestine, […]
“She is not someone you understand. She is someone you watch, someone you use, someone you mourn. She is made for love but love is not made for her. Everything about her runs deeper than in you; her madness is truer, her mind brighter and better broken, and her anguish is in her bones, not her blood. You will never forgive her for dying, but she will aways be dead forever, and your horror means nothing to her anymore. That, more than anything is why you still dream about her and her flowers thrown like curses. She has made herself no longer yours to dream […]
I’m trying to stay grounded, to not let this silly thing get to me, but I can’t. Writing is the only thing that is keeping me from hurting myself and even then I struggle to find my words. Everyone keeps telling me the same thing, that this guy was a douche or some other name, but I want to know why such a nice guy would say the cruelest thing to me the morning after such an amazing day. I was blind sided I thought things were going well he was sweet and never rude to me until this morning. I want to know what […]
Hello, the guy I’ve been reading about on here getting his life destroyed by zero hedge… Well mate my situation is 200x more scifi than that, gangstalking target world famous me, youtube spongebobs secret tv channel 🙂 the person who had the mushroom trip and realised everything only to remember the very small details you can comprehend, me too! this place is nothing but a game show, the world, and the universe at that 😉 and everyone with hurtful non caring families, My step dad of ten years tried to have me raped and killed twice, my dad ran away because he was scared, and […]
Into the pits
It hurt so much
Why am I so alone
Down and chained
Nowhere to escape
I want to be a dark
A dark dragon of the sun
Take me to the time chamber in nature
Such unfathomed spectrum a true warrior of Z
I’m dead and dark Son-Goku and you’re Piccolo
Friends like Mario and Yoshi
How can we conquer back the world, together
I can go now, I have a Nimbus
Can you be the other Bulma
I’m the beast of hell
I can’t wait until I’m reborn
Just so that I can die
Walk of life, spirit of death
Let me be reborn, the world already
Dead
Alpha Sebastian, you do not exist
What next.