people in school thinks im the happiest girl in the world, but honestly, i am not. at home, i am the reckless one. i have 4 siblings. i’m the middle child. all of them feels so loved and appreciated while im here picking up all the hand me downs and the things left for me. i am always the “target” of my mom. when my big brother fails a quiz, she doesn’t get mad at him, but instead she supports him and allow him to party anytime he wants and gives him anything he wants. same goes to my sister and brothers. me? she scolds me, tortures me, and lock me in the house. i am trying to do my best but she can’t seem to see that. i don’t eat lunch or recess at school just to study. i save my own money while everyone gets what they want. i am a middle child who is sooo done with everything. i can’t take this anymore
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I’ve always felt a little sorry for middle children for this reason, it does seem often that their parents look right past them. It sounds to me like you have yet to really find your identity in this world, which is harder for middle children, because parents expect certain personalities in first borns or last borns, which helps shape them as such (first borns tend to be more responsible and leaders, or that youngest will be “spoiled” or wild). I’m sorry your mom is treating you so badly. Maybe you could just tell her directly and from your heart that you’re feeling overshadowed. Let her know its very important to you and if she brushes it off after that, its on her. I know it can feel so much easier to just recede into the dark. But you’re allowed to ask for what you need and you deserve it.
I am almost like you. People think I’m such a lucky girl with a perfect life, but little do they know I’m suicidal. I have three siblings, two older and one younger. My younger sister would always get away with everything because she’s the youngest and was always the most cherished and loved. Now that my older siblings are old enough and left the house, I am the older sibling in the house and everything literally becomes my fault. I’m a teenager, and therefore my attitude change, I experience and discover things and my parents hate it. They hate that I have this slight gothic side of me and they never fail to remind me. So, I know how it feels like to have everyone in your family judging you and complaining about the tiniest things you do. If you ever need to talk, I’m here, just tell me.