This will be my last note to everyone. I lay awake waiting for something to happen, waiting for someone to text me, waiting for forgiveness, waiting…. That’s all I’ve done with my life. I’ve been waiting to end all of this. Everyday I wake up, I go to school because it’s easier not to think there. I’m sitting at a table where no one wants me there. I’ve gave up with wanting to fit into a group. When I’m not there no one thinks about me. No one loves me enough to call them theirs. Theirs no place for me here. I started thinking about […]
think
Do you ever feel like you have no reason for being. Almost like you were just left on earth to wonder why you have to live in the first place.
I mean I have tried to feel like everyone happy like things are simple, but WHY i mean I tried college I try to work hard and it almost seems people
go out of their way just to make you feel like shit. Then you find one thing to hold onto and it becomes toxic like helping family or friends. you put your heart and soul into trying to be level headed and peaceful for them and […]
My mind won’t focus on anything but suicide. Everyday I envision the multiple easy ways I could end it. I don’t only think about them, I visualize them. Like mini hallucinations. I’m terrified of what my brain is doing to me. Should I check myself in somewhere?
Anyone who says suicide is a choice is full of shit. Suicide is a battle, one you only hope you’ll survive.
All advice is welcome, and yes, I’m medicated.
I love u so much…..I don’t think you realize how what you do affect me…..you cry I cry, you laugh I laugh…..I would give my life to save yours…..your very existence means the world to me…..your existence is the reason I still exist myself…..if anything ever happened to you a part of me would disappear…..and not just a little part that can be fixed and mended over time…..a giant hunk of me…..a part of me that can never be just taped back together with time….a part of me that would forever be broken…..I don’t know if I would be able to go on wothoght you….The […]
I think its time for me to open up. I want to tell my mom but I don’t know how to. I was about 14 when I was rapped. I thought she was my friend, but I guess wrong. She said that if I didn’t let her, she would kill me. I was scared for my life that I let it happen. I feel like it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have let it happen. I would go into detail on how it happen, but I don’t think anyone wants to read about that. I feel like if I tell my mom she might blame herself […]
Well ever since sixth grade I have felt alone. Even though I have a best friend. half the time I don’t think she wants to be friends with me. I am getting to the point where I am close to giving up again. I cant keep feeling like a nothing. I always feel worthless and alone. I have no clue that else to do anymore. Nobody at my school likes me, so instead they pick on me and tease me. I tried telling the teachers but nothing helped or worked. I cant even ride the bus anymore because I can’t handle the teasing that happens […]
Hello. I was born in a male body and given the name Michael.
I don’t identify as a male. Since puberty, my body has felt as if I had breasts and they were cut off. My penis and testicles feel as if they were stitched on. They’re always in the way.
I would really like to transition. I’d like for people to be able to see me as I see myself, and not the physical husk that I look at in the mirror every morning and every night. I would love to, but I need money, and time, and I need everyone to accept that I’m a […]
And to think that I actually believed you.
You said you wanted me, just me. Now you’re changing, and you no longer want me anymore. Yeah. Leave me. From the beginning, I’ve never left you at all. If I do so it must be because you’re busy. Or I need time alone. You left me. You said I will leave, but now you’re the one leaving. Yeah go on. I like how you lie. Yeah. Go on. Pain is addictive. Hurt me more if you can. In this relationship I’ve never pretended before. I sincerely love you with all my heart. Hah. Who knows, […]
Why is it that everytime I turn around someone’s telling me that I put myself in this place? I dug myself this hole and I’m keeping myself 10feet under.. If I could for one day feel “normal” (whatever society considers that) then I would be in a heart beat but I don’t ask to see think and feel the things I do. I don’t ask for the flashbacks or nightmares and I don’t ask for the emptiness.. But whatever maybe it’s something I deserve maybe and fuck being “normal”
I find this has more meaning than I’d like to think it does.
In the end were all just chalk lines on the concrete, drawn only to be washed away.
For the time that I’ve been given, I am what I am..
Never enough by five finger death punch
recently we’ve broken up, after a long period of time together, through good times and bad. when we’ve met, i was happier. even though we met at the hospital, both dealing with our mental illnesses. i can’t point on the timeline when things got really bad. i’ve grown to drink frequently at some point. i thought it would help me escape my feelings, and, well, it did. but i thought, until recently, that it was just that. well, no.
i think i was seeking attention, love. she told me, since the beginning, she has a problem of showing love. i thought that by doing crazy shit […]
I am having such trouble at school that I come home crying. I started high school. My friend doesn’t go there, she goes to a different school. I moved so I got zoned for another school. The people in my grade already has their friends, and cliques and I am just left out. My only close friend that I have doesn’t even talk to me as much as we did last year. I have like 1 or 2 people I hang out with at school but I don’t think that they even want to be friends with me. They make plans without me, hangout without […]
Hello. I’m Bella. I’m 15 years old and I know what it’s like to go through depression. I want to help people that went through it too. Mine was from loosing my best friend on Easter night and then having his funeral on my birthday. I didn’t get to talk to him that day because I was busy with my family, but I have now made everyone with depression or problems a priority. I was in therapy for my depression because I talked with my mother about it. I was mute for almost FOUR whole months. Now I try to look at the […]
I just got married, and I feel so badly for my new husband. I’d love to talk with y’all, but I can’t think of anything else to say.
I was born into relatively lower middle class family. My mother is an school teacher all her life and my dad is an alcoholic since forever working in construction. Ive born into a small town, with no opportunites and with no financial aid, I attended the school and finished by graduating 12 classes. As a kid I played used to enjoy playing football or just pass time as a computer which is most of my whole life. But If I were to defy myself Im incredibly shallow, no confidence/self esteem, have not felt anything in years, no-one to care for or something to hold value […]
Staying strong means continuously uplifting yourself positively as a confident person by pushing through the hardest rock bottom times your best. Give it your all. And don’t bow down to bullying etc. Make a difference. Think about what you love and what you do thats special or even find a new idea. I like to write now because it helps me and people see it and feel it. Be a soldier, not weak at soul. I skate loyally and hard, i’m beyond commited. That’s most dope. That’s why I have it tatted across my upper chest. It’s me. It’s a view and reminder […]
Is the point of life eventually finding that sense of belonging, inevitably with a significant other? What if I don’t think I can find that comfort in anyone else? Am I destined to be alone, searching for something that doesn’t exist? I think the worst part of my best friend of 14 years telling me she never liked me and god knows what else, is I only found a sense of belonging with her and it was completely platonic. This world is so lonely, experiences don’t mean much if you don’t have anyone to share them with. I’m not big on relationships, I don’t really […]
I’m not sure of what else to write, so I’ll go with my favorite topic: Alex. I’m way more obsessed and in love with him than I should be. I only knew him exactly a week. I was in the hospital, he got there to wait for a bed in another place. It was pure dumb luck that we met.
Basically what happened between us it this: (sorry it’s long) he was introduced, I loved his southern accent, and I liked him a lot. I tried to keep him off my mind to work on treatment, but it just got harder and harder. On his […]
You said they made fun of your body
Humiliation in your eyes when you told me
Well I’m gonna find them
Don’t you worry
I’ll make sure
They’re really fucking sorry
You said you’re embarrassed of your body
You told me you think you’re really ugly
Well my love I know you don’t see
What I see
Anything that is beautiful
People want to break
And you are beautiful
I’m afraid
Anything that is beautiful
People want to break
And you are beautiful
I’m afraid
You said you’re ashamed of your body
You’d rather die than show me
But I would love you in any
Form you take
You said […]
At some point in life, you have to take a deep breath and think twice. You have to put aside all the things that made you cry, and look at the brighter things in life. Like going home to love and support, instead of going hold to a homeless shelter because you’re poor. But always be thankful for the life that you’re livin, because you could’ve been just another abortion. Sometimes we don’t see a reason for livin’, because we are raped, abused, and mistreated. So we cut, do drugs, and become suicidal , for some of us the voices in our head can make […]