Simply food for thought.
Tag:
thought
Okay, so I know this is probably seen time and time after again. Some poor sap crying about how sad they are about their relationship issues. And normally I would be one of those people who would be quick to call the person out on their drama, but idk, its different for me. I’ve recently started coming out of the closet. I’m a guy btw. My parents were supportive. I’ve told a couple friends and they’ve been supportive. I’ve been dating this guy for the last 7 months and have fallen head over heals in love with him. He is so special to me. He’s […]
4 days left,
and I don’t really know how to get sorted.
Or if I even should sort things.
Got notes written to those that matter, several notes actually, don’t really know which to choose. Do I use the short? the long? the one that tries to explain as much as possible, while reassuring, so feelings don’t get hurt “too” much?
Do I even use one? Should I leave nothing, or just write on the wall: “Fuck it, doesn’t matter anyway” ?
Should I clean everything up nice and tidy? Leave a mess? Just let everything be as it is, so it shows how much a mess […]
So I’ve been feeling suicidal for about four years no ive attempted suicide neumorus of times I’ve been to over 30 plus mental hospitals. I’d find myself feeling better then all of a sudden im down again I was diagnosed with depression ptsd and bipolar disorder. Im taking zoloft I just feel as if nobody understands me. I’m only seventeen I have scars all over my arms I never really exspess myself to anyone I block people out because im afraid to let anyone in although people say im geting better I don’t feel like I am. Everyday I smoke cigarettes im constantly thinking I […]
The air was so cold on that dreadful October night,
As I shivered in my thin blankets three,
I sat waiting for a call that would never come,
From someone who said they cared about me.
As the hours ticked on I worried that they were hurt,
It is a possibility you know,
But as I sat there a horrid thought crossed my mind,
As horrible as any I know,
This person never did know how to be late,
Not even for school or for work,
So how could someone I loved so very very much,
Turn out to be such a damn jerk,
Then my thoughts took […]
I’ve thought about it for years. Tried various ways. Failed (obviously) every time. Lied my way out of hospital after hospital. Spent years “reinventing” myself. But can’t escape the overwhelming need to die. Not to die just any way. I need something creative. It cannot look like a suicide. It can NEVER be questioned. My husband doesn’t know and can’t know i am like this. He didn’t know me when i was “depressed,” medicated. In therapy everyday. He knows the now me. That person works 60 hours a week. That person adores her children. That person is positive and upbeat. Fun loving and adventurous. The […]
what is a permalink? it appeared out of nowhere i did not put it there… hello how are you doing? i hope you are alright. i thought about this place now because i am going to put an end on it and i would like someone to know it i want to say it i want to say it to someone who is not going to lock me up and say i am crazy i know i am insane i’ve had enough i am not even distressed i know what i should do and i am calm i already told my mom i am going […]
I hate myself.
I hate myself because I know that others have it way way worse than me and they aren’t complaining. I hate myself because I am not skinny enough. I am not smart enough. I am not pretty enough. I’m not nice enough. I’m not friendly enough. I’m not out-going enough. I’m not talkative enough. I’m not open enough. I’m not perfect enough. I’m just…. not enough. I hate that I’m such… an attention whore. I hate that a lot of people have it way worse than me and I’m here just cry a river and thinking of ending it, but it ending because […]
Today I found out for sure that my girlfriend was cheating on me.
I have battled depression in the past, sadly each time it seems to centre around a female. I am now 23, 24 in a bit more than a week. I guess I will start.. at the start…
I was only 14 or 15 at the time. This beautiful girl at my school had started talking to me, I had a crush on her long before but I was never really the one to say anything. I was Year 10 and she was Year 8. I was pretty young but this girl had taken me […]
so ive been in this relationship for a couple months now, and here i thought i was finally getting the hang of it. I thought i could finally make her happy. And i was making her happy up until the last few days. then i fucked the whole think up by saying something stupid as i always do. except this time it was worse. I told her one of her exes (one who broke up with her and she still had feelings for) didn’t care about her. that he was using her for some reason. i had figured this because i thought he might suffer from […]
was looking up effective suicide methods and stumbled across your site. it’s hard to not really have people to talk with when i feel this way and most posters her seemed kind and smart so i thought i would register. really ptsd triggered today and that usually causes me to want to escape and that is really hard. i feel pretty abandoned by the universe at times like these. i try a hard as i can with my health challenges and ptsd and still things are a hot mess. have thryoid problems that are resisting treatment and i keep wondering if i just stopped taking […]
I feel so alone in a group of people. I dont know what I have become. I used to be so happy all the time. I used to be so care-free. I honestly dont know what happened. Over the course of 2 years I became so cold. I never let people in (in my personal life) anymore. I don’t want to say I have bipolar depression, but I know that is not the case. But there is something different about me. Everyday is a battle for me. It is become such a battle for me to even get out of bed in the morning. I […]
I’ve been trying to meditate recently to clear my mind of suicidal thoughts. I plan on doing it in the next six months. But, in the meantime, I’ve got to get some stuff in order. I don’t want to live the next few months planning out my suicide. I want to live well and try new things before I die. And hell, maybe, just maybe, one of those new things will lead to something that makes me want to live again?
So I read that meditation can help with suicidal or obsessive thoughts. I decided to try it out. But I just can’t do it. I […]
I got my hand read by my friend and the lines in your palm on the right hand tells your future. My line of life is short, and I will die healthy. I’ve thought about this a lot on how I’m going to die. I have always thought of suicide. Maybe I slit my wrists and bleed to death, it seems like the best way to go. Or overdose on my pills. Now when I think about when I will pursue it, what comes up is when my mom told me I’m what keeps her going. She told me a few years back, crying, that […]
After much thought and consideration, I have decided to end my life. I may have only been here for 19 years, but that’s 19 years too many. Life has been harsh to me for too long. I have a condition that’ll shorten my life span anyway, so I may as well cut to the chase and get it over with.
I have forgotten what it feels like to be truly happy in life. Sadness and depression have defined me for so long, I don’t know how to feel anything else. There hasn’t been a day in my entire life when I woke up and thought, “I’m […]
Cross a road as you see a bus approaching far off in the distance, and wish it weren’t hundreds but a mere few feet away.
Peer over the hand rails of a bridge and imagine yourself plunging towards the watery depths below.
Drag a finger along the edge of a blade – wishing your finger were your neck instead.
Feel a faint sense of relief at the thought of others gazing downward at the lifeless body – it had imprisoned you for much too long.
Battle the urge to just jump .. to make the leap of faith into the abyss.
Become fixated upon the person you’ve wanted so deeply to know and understand, disgusted by […]
After he left me, I turned upside down. I thought sleeping with guys would help me forget him, maybe i actually thought the guy i was with would actually love me, but that was all a joke. It would never be love, it was all lust. That’s all it is now adays is lust, maybe for a second i honestly thought i had feelings for these guys. Now, sex isn’t pleasurable.. i just want it to be done with when i have it. Maybe i thought i could honestly numb out the feelings for him with other guys, because alcohol wasn’t working with me, smoking […]
It’s human arrogance driven by ego to believe “human existence” is anything other than just another occurrence in a much larger spectrum. Consciousness is a slow burning curse. We claim to be a higher form of life because we possess cognitive thought, yet we have absolutely no idea why we are actually here. So we create countless forms of abstraction to both give ourselves a false sense of purpose and to serve as a distraction from the fact “we have NO idea why we are here” Personally I would much rather be driven solely by instinct than by this fractured reason.
“In the end it’s not about what you have.
In the end it’s all about where you want to go
And the roads you take to help you get there.
Cause you’ve only got one life to lead.
So don’t take for granted those little things.
Those little things are all that we have.”
i know we’re all going thru our own shit, and if you’re like me these thoughts could pop up and disappear on your mind constantly. just an hour ago i was ready to go, but my friend asked me to eat out, and we talked, and it did feel good. sometimes i […]
Hi im having a smal breakdown. Just thought about cutting. Ive never tried, and I really want to. How do I do it, brcause im worried…
Please…