I act strange, well… I understand philosophy, quantum physics and things like that, but I think the other people are harder to get.
I dunno, I think the other people act strange too.
Most of them are mean, arrogant and harsh.For example, if somebody’s got a big spot on the nose, they wouldn’t think twice to mock him or her.If somebody is overweight they’d start bullying.And so on…
I’m so dumb sometimes…
Once a girl “befriended” me and we used to talk about everything, she said things about me but I couldn’t notice she was actually insulting me, she was just having fun, laughing at […]
Tag:
thought
… and it really helps with my depression.
I’m a 28-year-old living in Las Vegas. I was first “diagnosed” as clinically depressed when I was 12 years old; but I feel like I’ve been sad most of my life.
Up until recently, my life was completely shut down by my depression – I never got dressed, left my room, ate… there was some self-harm… I was consumed with thought of suicide and self-mutilation, but I managed not to act…
I entered out-patient treatment 3 months ago. On anti-depressants which seem to be helping… but, the real life-style change I’ve made is smoking weed from sun-up till bed time.
I’ve […]
I have been consumed with thoughts of suicide. Tonight I was crying to ask my brother to shoot me in the head. As serious as could be asked. I wanted to say it so bad. Even after his prodding “you can tell me anything” questions.
The tears flowed but I wouldn’t give in. I was so close to just blurting it out but I couldn’t. I had the restraint not to tell him. I don’t know what I feared more, thought of him saying no but then even more if he said yes. I feared his yes because I honestly feel as though I would […]
Where do you find the strength to go through the day? Do you work/go to school, clean your house, walk your dog and so on? Over the last 2 years I have been running between school and work and just 2 weeks ago I all the sudden decided to not get out of bed. I called my boss that I had enough and got one week of sick leave. I quit school and now I’m just lying here feeling beaten to death. I have been depressed since my teen years and thought it couldn’t get worse. But that was nothing compared to this. No strength […]
When you’ve thought about suicide and have started to make decisions on little details, some aspects are kind of thought provoking.
I’m kind of torn on whether to exit during the day or night. Both have an appeal. I suppose night time due to the correlation of darkness and sleeping. I also like how not many people are up and about at night.
I do know that different times of the day reveal different moods. Guess I’ll figure it out soon enough.
Okay so on 3/5/2014, i was admitted into a mental facility and this is my story of being in it (YOU DON’T HAVE TO READ)
Okay so mine was because i had well attempted suicide, my friend called the cops on me after she found out and this crisis lady gave me an option which by the way was stupid. she said if i didn’t talk to her…i would have to be admitted …but truth was, that I was going to have to be admitted anyway because I had attempted suicide and like the only way, i wouldn’t be admitted was if she thought, i was […]
I feel as though my soul is finished here in my current form. I believe that we are conscious beings born to learn lessons on earth that our souls can use to grow. It grows through experience and thought. My conundrum is that from all the lives before, we have all lived many a time and our souls have learnt from these lives. We have been rich, we have been poor. We have loved and we have lost. Every lifetime our souls learn something it has not felt before.
My thought on this life is that my soul has competed it journey. In this life […]
What can you say when life seems to just beat you down?
What can you say when it feels like you’re stuck with an unyielding frown?
What can you say when you body starts refusing to do what you ask?
What can you say when you mind gives you trouble with even a simple task?
What can you say when your family can’t seem to understand?
What can you say when things you took joy in now feels bland?
What can you say when you are no longer sure of what you can do?
What can you say when the thought of this will make […]
I just hope you still love me
After all of the catastrophe
We were once companions, I believe
I never thought I would cause you to grieve
I miss you, and I love you
I just hope you love me too
I remember the mornings you came […]
I had a dream once , that the gras was greener when I died
that the grass was greener On the other side.
but I came to find out that that was a lie,
the grass was burned on the other side.
Scorching hot and not remaining
My mind woke up no longer refraining.
I opened my eyes and there it was the
monster of lies, truth, and dispair.
I’m friends with that monster it’s my only hope,
I told my friends they thought it was a joke.
If your reading this now, know I’m not lying
and if I am I’m sorry Im trying.
I think we all have those things in our heads that just won’t leave. An example of this would be the saying “Nothing lasts forever”. Because of this, I am incapable of commitment. If someone tells me that they’re here for me, i still can’t trust them because they won’t be here for me forever. They will move on like everyone else. It’s the same with relationships. They end. So what’s the point. Itll just end in heartbreak so why the fuck would it matter.
I also can’t seem to shake the thought that everyone is capable of pretending. Pretending to be my friend. Pretending to […]
There’s a fear inside of me that is ripping to get out. My heart races with every thought, my head pounds with the urge to shout. I am not in control and I don’t know how to find it. I’m living in a world where my reality is blinding. Manic and hyper I can’t satisfy the urges. I’m up and down an all around hurting. I’m dying on the inside and smiling on the out. I’m a great actress to show you what you need to see but then there’s you and for some reason you see me. That scares me a I don’t even […]
I have an innate desire to die. It is ingrained in my every thought. I feel as though I have no reason to live. I’ve suffered from depression for ten years and I’m tired that it never goes away. Through medication and therapy there is no cure. Life is meaningless. Time passes and I go through the motions. There is nothing left but to sit and wait. Trying to convince myself that things will get better or looking forward to things that don’t matter. Am I not just creating an illusion to give me a reason to keep going? Â Once that goal has passed it […]
Death is a thought that every once in a while draws me closer and closer. The loneliness on nights where sleep can’t come any faster and I hear that monster talking me into death. No one will miss this pathetic little man. No one loves me, no one acknowledges me, I tend to be ignored by most. I guess I should take my life but what stops me is that life is not mine to take even my own. And so I guess I will suffer until the day comes maybe I deserve pain, some of us do. If I fail maybe tomorrow I may […]
I used to smile all the time. I never cared what anyone said about me. Then they started getting meaner meaner. They hit me and called me things like “slut” and “*****”. My own friends had turned on me. Like they didn’t even care about me anymore. I thought for a long time. Then I started cutting. I never thought I would be one of the people who started doing this. I actually felt really good. The bullying just got worse. I got so tried with it. I decided I wasn’t good enough because that’s what they told me. I got a bottle of pills […]
I’m tired, i’m killed
just bcz of wat u did
the moment i trusted u the most
u simply killed all my hopes
my love was always veryy true
n i was utmost loyal to u too
even then u had to go far
but baby, it just tore me apart
all this when u always knew
i cud never bear the distance between me and you
what we had was so beautiful and so strong
i just could never know when did i go wrong
ya, der was jsz 1 mistake dat i made
i do xcpt it,regret it n m ready to corrct […]
Around last year, 7th grade, I started feeling depressed for no reason. I was crying every day and getting suicidal thoughts. My mother got me tested and we found out I have depression. I have switched medicines I think 3 times now. Lately I have stopped taking my medicine and I have been feeling better, but tonight I fell asleep or something and woke up with my internet pulled up with “can I overdose on celexa” in the search bar. I started crying. I still haven’t stopped. I thought about it and I’m actually thinking about what it would be like if I did kill […]
‘Ring’ ‘ring’ ‘ring’. I woke up at the sound of my alarm. ” oh gosh , it is still 6:30 am ” . I checked my phone I had no messages from my friends . “That’s weird , my friends used to talk to me everyday! ” I wondered to myself . I took a bath , brushed my teeth and prepared some delicious pancakes with my coffee .
As I was enjoying my sweet breakfast and listening to the sound of the birds , my friend vikki called . […]
I’ve been reading some posts on here for a few days and it’s helped a bit. I guess i was curious if anyone felt the same way i felt. I’ve had depression my whole life. I was sent to a psychologist when i was 8. There she told me i had chronic depression and a bunch of other crap. I’ve just kind of bottled my feelings inside my whole life. It wasn’t until i hit 16/17 years old where i realized it was okay to feel this way. Well.. not okay.. but that i wasn’t alone or a freak for it. Anyways.. i’ve still pushed […]
so far im my life i have screw things up!
relationships
friends
parents
family
to them. im just a piece of shit.
i have thought about my suicide again. it stopped but has came back in every way to hurt me.
i thought suicide was just a phase for me of what i was going through when my dad treated me like shit.
now it has came back. and i screwed up again. one of the most important thing to me. the happiest thing i have ever felt. but i screwed it up. and now all i can do is cry and feel like. nothing.