Tag:

Tms

TMS tomorrow

by whydoiwantto 5/18/2016

written by whydoiwantto

As this site has semi functioned as a journal for me to track my depression, and as people were pretty curious about TMS when I posted about it, I have decided to post about my experience with TMS, as I am starting 6 weeks of treatment starting tomorrow.

Pre-procedure:
I had to take two depression tests and go over the history of every psych med I had tried which wasn’t effective (hard to remember them all). This was to show the insurance two things, 1. I had major depression and 2. It is treatment resistent even after trying multiple anti depressants. The charge of this was […]

5/18/2016 3 comments

Depawhaaat and TMS

by whydoiwantto 5/8/2016

written by whydoiwantto

So it’s almost 5 am where I live and I can’t sleep. I feel like a failure. I tried to make things better. I went to the psychiatrist and got meds, been to therapy every week, I am even trying to get insurance approval for TMS… I went to work every day like I’m supposed to. But nothing seems to be improving. If anything, the depakote makes me feel so numb, like everything is grey. I feel like I’m just jumping through hoops, going through the motions.

But I am hopeful about the TMS. It’s the only thing left I haven’t tried besides ECT. I wonder […]

5/8/2016 6 comments

Lonely

by evildandelions 1/17/2016

written by evildandelions

It’s like periodic anxiety attacks where my chest aches every time the shock of her absence, the pain of missing our life together, hits me.

I may feel less depressed because of the TMS (or possibly the the treatment for PCOS), but I still feel useless. Classes start this week and I don’t think I know how to be human again yet.

1/17/2016 2 comments

Emotionally all over the place

by evildandelions 12/11/2015

written by evildandelions

I feel weird.

Still grieving the loss of my fiance. Still feeling the anxiety and physical pain that comes with it. Still having moments where I feel like I can’t breathe because I think about her and how everything we had is gone. I alternate between feeling incredibly sad and angry. I miss her so much, she’s my best friend, but then I’m angry too, feeling so betrayed that she could even do this.

Then there’s the TMS. I only just started the treatments this week and everything I’ve read about it says that results aren’t seen until about three weeks in. And yet I feel different. It […]

12/11/2015 2 comments

Believing in Jesus ultimately helped me

by corneredcat 12/2/2014

written by corneredcat

Believing in Jesus ultimately helped me. Not too long ago I was very suicidal and broke down. I prayed to God and asked him to help me. The next morning the morning news aired a story about TMS to treat depression. Soon after that I attempted to partake in a medical study that offers TMS for depression. I was screened out of the study which disappointed me and I never got the treatment that I cannot afford. Before the treatment I had to get off 2 medications I was taking to treat my depression. It made my condition worse. When I was screened out I […]

12/2/2014 4 comments

MYLIFE

by kristink 2/7/2013

written by kristink

so here is my story. i have suffered from major depression for more than 30 years. i first remember being suicidal at age 9. my middle school has 3 stories and i would look out the window wondering if the fall would kill me. never tried and never told anyone about those thoughts. tried the pill and cutting thing in high school. i also drank a lot. in college my dorm was 10 stories. i lived on the second floor. thought about jumping from a 10th floor window everyday. never told anyone about those thoughts either. after being married for just a year some heavy […]

2/7/2013 3 comments