I just stumbled upon that term today. I read up on nihilism before but Existential Nihilism basically holds that life does not have any real meaning or value. I started looking up nihilism when my aunt accused me of being one. When I read about it, it seems to follow my thought process. I see it as more of a neurologically built in philosophy
I have no one. I’m left with my pathetic self and I can’t even manage to commit suicide. It gets harder everyday, and today was the last day that I was gonna let it be. My chance was stolen though, because I’m weak and stupid.
This is my second post on here….when I say post, I mean not just making a comment on someone else’s account.
I promised a friend on Saturday, that I would take one day (today meaning Sunday) to really consider what I am doing. What I am planning to do, in hopes that I would find something within myself to hang on. He is a spiritual person, however I am not, at least not anymore and haven’t been in many years. However, it didn’t hurt for me to want to hold onto something, it didn’t hurt me to try. So with an open mind and heart, I […]
It happened. Worse than ever. I lost my shit.
Sobbing in the bath tub, snot and tears and drool mingling with the water, mumbling over and over for two hours “I don’t want to die… I don’t want to die… But I can’t do this…”
I’ve never felt such anguish, I feel like I have emotional cancer, I’ve never felt this way and it scares me so badly.
I don’t want to die, but what if it’s worse next time? What if it hurts so bad that I just end it all?
What if I go to hell for giving up too soon? I know not everyone is religious […]
i’m not in a very good place right now. today i got on facebook and discovered ‘she’ sent me a friend request – the ‘she’ who my dad cheated with all those months ago, subsequently ruining mine and my mom’s lives. i guess she honestly doesn’t believe she did anything wrong that night… i don’t know what the hell kind of drug she was on… but how dare she. i saw that today and everything came flooding right back to me, all of it. i feel like i’ve been hit in the stomach and now i can’t breathe. what’s worse, my older sister is friends […]
I’m 19 years old. My name isn’t important. I live on a farm, with sheep and crops, and wheat, and machinery. I’ve been depressed and anxious my whole life. Even when I was 14 years old, I was self-harming. I hadn’t self harmed or attempted suicide in 5 years. But to day got the best of me.
I walked to my partners car and opened the boot, before pulling our one of the ropes. He keeps them there encase be gets bogged so […]
I got an amazing job today and everything is starting to work out I guess but I just feel like complete shit
Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
I can’t take the person starin’ back at me
I’m a hazard to myself
Don’t let me get me
I’m my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don’t wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
I got so depressed that i started cutting again. its been a few months since i have but today i gave in. I never do it on my wrists, its always my legs because nobody can see it and get angry with me.
Today is my last. I am tired of living alone. Unloved. Untouched. Unwanted. I am seriously damaged. I must be. No family. No friends. No one. So I am on my way to my parent’s graves. I shall die there. The only two people that might have cared. Sheila
I’m telling everyone about this. I have support coming to me from all different angles. I’ve never felt as loved as I do now. The last period of my life I was suicidal I kept it all to myself whereas this time I am sharing my suffering and it feels good. I am showing I am imperfect, I am accepting support and advice. I have let my guards down.
Day 3 of my meds today, I am actually feeling pretty good this morning apart from I still have really bad insomnia – only 3 hours sleep or so last night. It’s the rolling around waiting for […]
I haven’t been on sp for a few weeks now. Not because I didn’t feel like I needed to; I did. I just couldn’t find the words I needed to let out. I didn’t know what to say or how to say it.
Admittedly, I did have a setback a few days ago… I tried to kill myself. I’d say I got to the point where one more push would have sent me over the edge, literally, but I didn’t do it. Just at that moment – by whatever sort of force of coincidence it was – I received a text from my grandma of all […]
I’m so angry today. That bullshit about God doesn’t give you more than you can handle..is just that-bullshit. I am not asking for a lot, you know? But still, it’s like I’m a dog getting my nose rubbed in shit.
This is my first post on this website. Today has been horrible all I could think today was suicide or run away somewhere. All I was thinking today was suicide mostly. Never thought of that. I’ve been depressed most my life and I haven’t really opened up to people or anyone I know in particular. Everyone knows me by the happy sunshine girl but no one knows who the real me is. Anyways going to back of what I was thinking about suicide and running away is because my mom told me that she shouldve had an abortion because she didn’t know she would hate […]
So, gamershell.com offers free demos. One can purchase whole game often on Amazon, race car simulation (Need for Speed Series) and anything flight sounding, especially the helicopter demos and games are a good thought changing environment. Have a minimum XP 32 bit system with video and sound upgrade or a good laptop in 32 bit operating systems to try these simulators out.
http://www.gamershell.com/search/?q=starshatter+demo
Find Vietnam Med Evac and Search and Rescue 4 and Space interceptor.
Microsoft Flight Simulators go back to 1998, a good one and through FSX, ten. I like FS2002. Add on any free airplane from simviation.com free.
So good luck dragging your ball and chain today, […]
He would’ve been 25 today, but instead we decorated my brother’s grave with a plastic light-up sword.
It takes 3 days for this to take effect. Heh, fooled them into thinking I actually ate today.
I’m done with what they’re saying. They never wished they had me? Well good, I never wanted them as pathetic emotionally abusive parents either.
So I’m doing both of us a huge favor.
Funny thing, both of them were attacking me today. They wanted to push me into action so I can finally take the exam? Even if I do pass (with my critically low ‘danger of failing’ score on the exit hesi) and get a job as a nurse, I don’t truly care about people, since why the hell […]
Fuck man I’m feeling death take over my soul minute by minute today. Feel so weak. Agh goddamn. I should be past this. I should be this and should be that. I should’ve never been born. This life man – all its been is pain. What a ***** of a life. I wish i knew who or what I was in a past life so i could channel that identity’s strength into this one. Fuck.
somebody stole my car radio, and now I just sit in silence.
I can’t do this anymore. I’ve cut myself 3 times today, and I keep throwing up. i am a sack of shit, bleeding and spewing garbage.
i want to disappear. I can’t live without my sister.
I saw my best friend today for the first time in about a few months and seeing her was the best and being able to hug her again was the most amazing feeling but i promised her i would never leave until i at least saw her once then i would most likely leave. Now i’m having second thoughts but i really want to leave. I have no clue what to do….