Never thought that I would be on here again but I guess I just need to vent. My grade is shit in math, my teacher treats me like crap btw but I get it at home too. This whole week I’ve been treated likes hit and I’m sick of it, I’ve been called names pushed and lied to throughout this week. If you cross be over don’t come back. If you have something to say , say it to my face direct contact please. And family , my dear family, LEAVE ME ALONE I don’t know if you guys know the concept of alone or […]
Today is a bad day for some reason. Nothing happened. It’s just the depression is really hitting me today. I’m sitting here at work, bored out of my mind, which means my mind wanders, and I just want to go home and sleep. My body is so tired.
I don’t know what to write about. I was thinking about discussing depression. What is it? But I can’t think straight today.
I should go to the grocery store tonight. But I know when I get home I won’t. I’ll put it off for tomorrow. And when I’m lying around home tonight wondering why I have no food […]
cut again tonight, but it’s the same half-healed one from last time, so no new scars…technically
so I’m gonna do it tonight but I feel like I’m being selfish to my family?? The whole town knowing and friends family but should I care cuss I’ll b dead or am I trying to find an excuse out????
Have you ever been worried that you might know someone on this site? That they would recognize you… that they could be here and even talk to you but neither know each other? I realize I know so many people that are depressed and might frequent this site.
Extra credit: Do you have co-dependency? How do you manage it? Any advice or questions?
Lastly, ask me something. I’d say AMA but I wouldn’t answer anything… just most things. I am sick and in need of a distraction tonight.
Froze my ass off today whilst traipsing around the woods with my uncle. The scenery was nice and I always enjoy being around my Uncle (more than probably my whole family because he sees me as me, not a dark moody piece of shit) but it didn’t clear my head like I had hoped. Did the opposite, actually. I feel so damn worse after getting back.
I had a good cry then slept half the day, but I came to the conclusion that I think the woods is my ideal resting place.
While the idea of death by hypothermia has crossed my mind a lot, I […]
I’m not a smoker, but a cigarette with coffee hits the spot sometimes. I like the way I get spun up on nicotine and caffeine since I hardly ever have either.
It lifts my lazy depression and maybe…..just maybe will be enough to get where I’m destined to go tonight.
Really don’t want to see another morning
I just wanted to say thanks, for every one who wanted to help me on here. I’m sorry it was all in vain though. I’m not completely set on the idea quite yet, but if you don’t hear from me, it’s because I’ve killed myself. Hopefully tonight. Maybe I’ll take a bath, cut my arms, take every pill in the house, and put a belt really tight around my neck and somehow strangle myself. Think that’ll work?
Can’t seem to find that tiny spot of silence inside my head tonight. Thoughts swimming around and around on repeat. Why is it when you are at your lowest the easiest of things are so hard? Sleep is not usually a stranger to me. I can sleep through anything just to get to the next moment. I use sleep as a barrier to keep me from having to face real life. So what happens when sleep doesn’t come? I go deeper and deeper into the place I so want to hide from. Face to face with every memory I try so hard to forget. Even […]
So I ruined it again….
I was doing so well….
Over a month without one single razor blade piercing my skin and tonight, out of all the nights, I started again.
I really wish this would just end.
I know it helps me feel better, but this is ridiculous.
This wasn’t your average cut either.
I carved a word into my leg…
And now it will most likely scar and be on my body for the rest of my life.
Good one.
I applaud you…NOT!
this has happened once before
the world is closing another door
perhaps tonight
I’ll lose this never ending fight
my wrists will bleed
but done is the deed
I won’t cry this time
my dear, I am not fine
i wish you only knew
what I’ve been going through
don’t you dare pretend you miss me
the hour here is three
and I’m waving goodbye
see you on the flip side
what bothers me is that there are so many people in the world. so many people are depressed. so many people cut. so many people have lost someone they love. so many people have attempted suicide. so many people have gone through with it. so what makes me any different?  if I killed myself tonight, why would it matter? I’m one of many so it wouldn’t cause any damage. the world wouldn’t stop so why dont I just do it? how much damage will really be done? not much. the thing is, I’m scared of what will happen if I don’t go through with it. […]
So, I overdosed last Tuesday night and I was sick for a few days afterwards and I’ve had pains all in my stomach since. No one except a friend at school knows I tried to kill myself, and she didn’t think much of it and made a joke about it. That made me think I was pathetic. That I was stupid and pathetic. And that made me think of doing it again. With even more pills this time.
The shadow people are back again. They try to hurt me again. They hold my head under the bath again. I can feel them on me in bed, […]
To anyone who is attempting suicide tonight, I wish you success in your attempt. Simple as that. I know we would all like to think that we can offer positive encouragement to fellow sufferers… maybe because it’s what we desperately wish we could find ourselves… but I know in my case that is just hypocrisy.
I wish for you what I wish for myself, that tonight your pain ends. No bs about finding a cure in life, no bs about finding a better solution or a way to deal with the pain. No, I hope you reach the true end of your pain which can only […]