That’s basically all I am. I am a joke of Fate, a fly trapped in the web she never stops weaving, a plaything that she uses to occasionally humor herself. And it really sucks.
It’s ironic, actually, because I always tell others to be who they are, an individual, and never give up hope. But I guess I let that last chance out of Pandora’s jar a long time ago, because I don’t think I’ll ever amount to anything.
Tag:
trapped
I’ve decided to live so what do I do next? I got the closest to succeeding that I ever have. And maybe if he hadn’t knocked on the door I would have fixed my initial error and went. It scared me though and I feel ashamed of myself as I always do. I can’t leave my kids like that.
Since I have decided that suicide is not an option I feel even more trapped than I did. These cycles are killing me. It’s like being rolled downhill in a tractor tire.
If […]
I feel completely hopeless, like a trapped animal in a cage who can’t break free no matter how hard he tries or how positively he thinks. I have no one close and meaningful to me, nothing to look forward to, and no reason to even try anymore. I’m so sick and tired of this frustration of going about existing. I’ll clearly never never find happiness on this planet so why am I still breathing?
The big question whist happens after we die, where do we go. Do we go into a spiritual realm for tortured souls, do we go into nothing, do we go into a dream world for good, do we see others that are past,do we go to heaven, do we go to hell? These are the questions that every one wonders, even the most religious person must think in the back of their minds I hope there is a heaven. So to kill yourself is a sin and then we end up in hell. Whet if you think life is hell, why is there such a […]
the pills I take deflect the pain. but it’s only temporarily. the darkness creeps back in eventually. it’s causing me agony.
the withdrawals are so bad
nobody takes me seriously.
when I cry for help, it’s just for a hug. I don’t want your pity, I want your warmth.
the pills saved my life you fucks – they maybe the reason my life ends soon but
they did more for me than any person can
Love makes my life horrific, I’m an Indian, I didn’t get love from my family when I’m younger it’s becaz of my father domination & I couldn’t able to tell to my father anything, I spent my childhood in my grand ma home, after death of my grandfather i came to my father’s home age of 13, upto that time I spent a silent life, after reaching my home suddenly it became violent, so I thought to have a love life but unfortunately I didn’t get that too instead of love i was been cheated twice.
I can’t able to tolerate the pain so long, this […]
I am trapped in this piss-poor body under piss-poor circumstance. How come so many people can be content with mediocrity and I can’t?
Fuck being human.
It’s strange. I am not exactly what you’d call a thin person, nor am I tragically obese. In reference to fruit, I would say that I am an apple. I’m large around the midsection. It would be safe to assume that I don’t run…or exercise daily. I’m not a fitness nut nor am I terribly unhealthy. In fact, I’m quite average. I can walk a mile in 10 minutes flat, which doesn’t sound like much to some but I know people who are, 1/24th my size and they couldn’t walk a mile in 10 minutes if their life depended on it.
Lately, my sleep schedule has […]
Hell.
Hell is what I live in, no doubt about that.
I just want to die, is that too much to ask for?
I mean, what’s the point of living?
I see no reason of why I should?
It’s like, I can’t even live.
A Zombie.
I am a zombie.
A body walking around with nothing inside.
Absolutely nothing.
I can even breathe for Godsake.
It is like I’m in a cardboard box,
And there’s absolutely no way out.
I am trapped.
And the sad thing is,
I am trapped in my own life.
I’m a twenty two year old girl, no I am not a lesbian, nor am I bi-sexual. I am however trapped in the closet. My plastic bag over the head method failed me for the last time. I couldn’t control my body from ripping out of the handcuffs and ripping the bag off of my face. Sheer willpower wasn’t cutting it.
So, I’m trapped in the closet. Its a tiny closet that I’ve locked myself inside and am hoping to pass away in. If I’m lucky I won’t be awakened to my sad life in the morning. If I’m lucky this small, tight limited oxygenated […]
Your heart so hard and cold
The tears I hold as you all laugh at me.
Others not moving an inch, standing where they may
Your words so filled with silly hate.
Your hate is jealousy in the purest form.
I smile and pretend that the words don’t cut like knives.
That I can’t hear the little whispers in the halls
I don’t understand what I did.
I just want it to end, I want it to end here and now
Your hate is your poison and you choking on it.
Every breath you take, hate
Every move you make, hate
Every look you give, and […]
some days i’m okay but other days like today i’m not. i’m trapped in my thoughts thinking about this baby that never took a breath. at times i find myself literally sitting up staring at the wall. what could i have done to possibly warrant this event.
sometimes i think maybe its for the best. she could’ve grown up to be the worst human ever
other times i think its my fault. whoever took her away thinks i cant handle the task of raising her right. maybe i was in over my head. maybe i wasnt ready. i couldnt do it.
i’d rather suffer trying and be constantly […]
I can’t do it. Every day that goes by the feelings get worse and worse. I’m trying so hard and then something happens and I need to start all over. I’m not happy. I want to be but I’m not. There’s so much going on in my life right now and I want it to go well but I constantly doubt myself. I feel trapped and alone and scared. I hate feeling this way. But I can’t even deny it anymore. I just don’t want to be here anymore. I want to just end it all. And these pills. They don’t help. I think I’ve Ben […]
After 10 long months of being told what to be.
After being left stranded by people I thought understood me.
After 10 long years of being broken,
After being made fun of.
Can I decide what goes on for once?
Can I have empathy, instead of sympathy?
Can I be perceived, instead of overlooked?
Can I be loved, instead of hated?
Can I tear up my past, like a rough draft, and throw it away?
Can I start over? Will things even change?
Can I just end my life? You would all be better off that way…
im trapped in this life of mine
i want to yell my feelings out
i want to sob and cry and i don’t know
im trapped in this world of mine
i want to express my feelings
i want to tell someone anyone
im trapped in this mind of mine
i want to not be afraid
i want to be happy
Hi Guys,
Um… Might not be posting anymore… Soooo… Sorry…
Au Revoir
I’ve been depressed for the past three years. It’s changed me on the inside, and you could almost say that I’ve developed, maybe grown for three years. But it’s odd, and I feel like as if most of my depression is from myself. This post is basically a boring recollection on how my depression has progressed, but hey I feel like posting here. I appreciated this website the moment I set eyes on it. I just don’t know how to sort myself out, and there are a lot of things that are difficult to express with words. I’m starting to get anxiety attacks because of […]
i wake up thinking about killing myself, i go through the days crying, wishing i wasn’t here. i don’t know how much longer i can deal with this. it’s fucking draining. i think about all the pros there’d be if i were gone; there are hardly any cons. it would just be so much better and easier for the people i care about. i feel like such a burden, i’m a failure too. i’ve been letting everyone down and i’m so sorry. all of my personal issues and disorders are getting worse and i’m scared. i’m so scared. scared of living this life. scared of […]
I wear a smile well, it’s my best accessory
I do it because I know it’s necessary
Behind the smile it’s revealed I’m dying inside
And it’s amazing the world buys all the lies.
Nobody will ever know
That the pain doesn’t let me go
It will haunt me until the day I die
I don’t want my tears to stain the world outside.
Trapped in a world I’m not good enough for
What am I still doing here?
Only in death will I find some of bliss
I know that I won’t be missed.
My aunt died after having cancer for four years. It was six days before my twelfth birthday. I was in sixth grade.
I felt nothing.
Jump forward a year and three months: Christmas 2010. During my seventh grade year.
My grandparents were crying while we were opening presents. It had something to do with a photo album, sent by my uncle, which had pictures of my aunt in it or something.
My depression started then. It’s lasted for almost two years now, getting progressively worse. It started out as grief, and from then until the first few months of eighth grade, whenever I’d hear about cancer or suicide I’d […]