All my life I knew something was different about me… Maybe it was how self conscious I became when my parents couldn’t afford to have more than one or two outfits that fit me when I was little. Or maybe it was how hard my mom tried to make my brother and I happy, but my dad always tore her down.. Maybe it was my parents always being to busy to come to any of my school concerts and events? Maybe it was just me? All I know is that through it all, no matter who I have around me, trying to support me.. I […]
Tag:
trying
This is going to be my first post. I have read some posts from other people about various different things hoping it might lift my spirits up to know that I’m not the only person who feels like I do. But it doesnt. I feel better commenting back to people with positiviy, but I personally still fucking hate everything about myself and my life. I’m going no where fast. I feel like I’m just existing in this world. I’m not living. I would love to live. However, I don’t see that happening. It’s been too long feeLing like I do. Too many nights and days […]
Hey everyone, its been a year since I’ve been here. I’m back, more tired than I’ve ever been. Barely sleeping, although I lie in bed for hours and hours trying to drift off. Reading through all of your posts. You’re all phenomenal people, and thank you to all those who have so much compassion for others.
Worried for my friend who is suicidal and burdened by multiple mental illnesses. As for myself, I’m at a low point but I need to be there for certain people in my life.
Stay strong and take care, we’re here for you.
Hi everyone,
Hope you’re all well.
I was diagnosed with [condition] where I was prescribed codeine (sort of like morphine) to ease the horrible, physical pain. However, it really makes my head spin which also makes the sadness go away. In fact, I feel almost happy. I know this can happen when you take opiates and i’m trying my best not to become addicted to them (which I am not) but sometimes, I just wish I could take one whenever I feel down. It’s horrible thinking but I was just wondering if people on here know what I mean.
Comments are really appreciated. Thanks
Your Nobody.
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about my friend who – surprise surprise – killed himself. It’s been over 3 years since he left. I was so crushed and felt SO guilty for about a… month. Yeah, it took me only like 30 days to get over the fact that somebody important to me died and that I might have actually pushed that important somebody a little towards the edge. Guess I’m one cold-hearted motherfokker. But despite not really giving a single disco dancing piece of poo about this once-so-tragic-but-not-anymore occurrence, I can safely say that I will never forget this little drama boy.
But hey, […]
I always wished to be invisible when in class but for some Reason I going what I wanted but not the way I wanted I was always noticed by my pears and unnoticed my my family or maybe just ignored I don’t know I have depression also I’m dyslexic and have dyslexic it’s “OK” to have dyslexica and have dyslexic but depression NOOOOO! That can’t be how can the people how love you not notice that I have something wrong with me I admit I’m good at hiding things or trying to ” thanks to school” but we see each other everyday just HOW ?. […]
The feelings started coming back again that sort of empty worthless feeling and I’m still trying to fight it even now my trying not to cry
I read my Diagnostic report today for the forst time ever and I was like someone literally put all my bad quality in a “nice” little box and I realised just how pointless I really am I use to think that I can use what I DO have to my advantage but what I do have isn’t going to help me be successful in a ordinary part time job and I isn’t going to make me progress onto being happy and […]
I have a question for those who suffer from social anxiety or variations of such. My question is a matter of how the world is seen to you, through your eyes. For me I want to lay in bed with my eyes closed, alone in my thoughts. I prefer to have someone that I know in the background but they remain just that, in the background. I tend to be aloof though I don’t mean to be… walking around the house can seem overwhelming at times, there is simply too much information. On that front, the world is data to me and I’m […]
I’m not really sure what I want to say here…I feel like I’m doing better now, I’m out of counseling, back in school, still facing challenges. I’m still trying to be the person I want to be, but I find it difficult since I’m stubborn and always focus on the past, and I still get anxiety around people I don’t know, and I still have vengeance for those who hurt me or are hurting, and I don’t want to be like that… Anyone know good tips or advice to help me be a better compassionate person?
I can here with such high hopes and big dreams. I came here expecting things to go well, expecting to make it through with only a few scrapes. Little did I know those scrapes would turn into bullet holes. I’m applying for boarding school, and if I don’t get in, if everything isn’t perfect, it will be the end of the world. There’s no place for me to go after that. Death and failure are the same thing to me now. I’m so scared of what will happen if I fail that I can’t focus on anything else. Right now, it’s either I get in […]
My heart is an autoclavethey say alcaholics, are always alcoholics, even if they’ve been as dry as my lips, for years we have incongruent morals, we suffer at the hand of hope, we try so hard, and now trying has become synonymous with failing I feel like I mite never know the other side of madness ever again…I feel like I;m ed Norton from fight club n I just keep missing myself I am my own eternal hair shirt I am raidohead’s exit music and we don’t wanna die, but we don’t wanna keep fighting, we are tired, we embrace our unconditional humanity and we reach, we […]
I’m back. It’s been awhile, though little has gotten better.. School is stressing me out, one of my close friends has gone distant, and the cherry on top: my stepdad (the only father I’ve ever had in my life) has Kidney cancer… I tried to tell my friend about it, and she flat out says “I don’t want any bad news.” And I’m dumbfounded, so I apologize.. For trying to tell her something important, what’s wrong with me? And how could a friend be so ignorant to another friend’s problem… Especially one as bad as a family member having cancer. Heh.. It’s easier to tell […]
Everything I say is wrong
Which is why I’m here writing this song
Everything I do can never be right
Which is why I find it difficult to see the light
Everything I say leads me to apologise
Which is why I’m sitting here trying to realize
Everything I do will never be enough for you
Which is why I really don’t know what to do
Everything is messed up
Which is why I always say “yup”
Everything is always my fault
Which is why my life has come to a halt
Everything makes me want to end it all
Which is why I curl up into a ball
Everything is me
Which is why I don’t know if I […]
Have you ever thought of yourself as pathetic. I have too many times. Here I am, good life, good parents and siblings, good house, good school, and yet, I lack soooo much willpower. Will. I just have no will. Why do people with such screwed up lifestyles and in such screwed up situations be so awesome with great personality, character, and drive and I’m just here… No drive. I’m just so pathetic. I wouldn’t commit suicide due to feeling guilty towards my parents, the people who have looked after me, and all the people trying so hard but in such screwed up situations, but seriously… […]
I have been depressed most of my life my first suicide was drinking 1lt of disinfectant at 8 years old and countless other poisonings. But recently i have started trying antidepressants but the doses have little effect. I’ve had up to 900g of venlafaxine a day for a few days now with 4g of risperidone with it and if I feel anxious or an attack is coming I can use quetiapine and with weed I am finally feeling better. There’s no confusion, rapid heart rate, sweating nor is there a high. I feel fine til it wears off
Hello everyone, I am trying to develop an app to help those who are suicidal on a regular basis (such as myself.) I wanted to ask you a few questions if that is okay, and from your help this app can actually happen one day. 🙂 (Some of these questions are appropriated from metanoia.org. Check it out if you have time.)
What makes it so hard for you to stay?
What do you view suicide as?
How would you commit suicide?
On average, 6 people are intimately affected by the suicide of a friend, family member, etc. Who do you think would miss you the most? (Can be […]
hummm …
let me welcome my self in ur world friends !
well, since it’s my first 5 min in here … i’ll try to say something positive for once ..
i think we have somethings in commun here ! naaah i’m not talking about suicide projects … i’m trying to indicate … humm let me think !
i’ll make it more interesting for a change …
like a puzzle … every time i post a story bt me … i’ll give u a hint 😉
sounds ridiculous but i tried. when i sleep i dont worry about all the pain and regret its just blackness. went to sleep just woke up hoping i could never wake up. all i do is hope for death i dont have the courage to do it myself. I’d gladly get ran over by a car on “accident” any day.
So…after many struggles and trying to lift myself up off of the ground and many blessings, I have finally made it. I MADE IT! I am so proud of myself. As much shit as I’ve been through and I’ve actually made it so far. I lost my dad, I lost my mom to drugs, I lost my house, I lost my dog, I was put in a total strangers house who only wanted me for a paycheck. I made it through high school all by myself. I applied to college all by myself. I am MAKING it. I still have moments where I feel like […]
i don’t understand why most people think the way they do. So let’s ask ourselves some questions…
Why do people find Saturday Night Live funny?
Why do news anchors call babies born without brains “miracles”?
Why is society so hung up on on the gay thing, yet don’t seem to worried about real threats such as pedophiles or rapists?
Why do all people universally stop believing in mythological creatures such as the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and Santa, as children, but as adults still believe in God and Jesus?
Why can’t people produce good music anymore?
Why do people still think that a highly advanced alien spacecraft, advanced enough to […]