I overdose on pills, get rushed to the emergency room, transmitted to the mental health unit, get diagnosed with major depression disorder, and get prescribed pills. Pills will be the death of me. I can’t comprehend why they would give pills to someone not emotionally or mentally stable. And lets not forget I just overdosed on pills. Are the doctors trying to kill me?
family and friends repeat the same words, “itll get better, itll pass with time, this is just temporary” but it isnt, they dont understand how much pain ive been in, and when i get up to do something about my sadness im told im crazy, why would i do that, maybe i am crazy, but im trying yo find my happiness, what im doing now, the journey i took over the holiday week, i may not come back alive, but i am reaching out and trying to grasp my happiness, wish me luck, if this is my last post then that means i did not […]
why is it that whenever someone says they care or that they love me, i break out into tears. its like its so hard for me to accept it and to believe it that when someone tells me they care about me; it makes me feel so good and sad and happy because i feel like ive never been cared for. im not even sure how to describe it. i hope you guys understand what im trying to say/how i feel.
It took 18 years to remember
You want five to forget
Forget about it.
I never thought I could survive to college. I never saw myself in a dorm. I never saw friends.
But I did. I didn’t live in a dorm. I rented a two-bedroom house with a fenced yard for my two adopted dogs. I went to class. It’s my fifth year in school, and yeah my past caught up to me, and yeah I had a few slip-ups, but I am going to graduate in May with honors- a GPA above 3.0.
So why?
Why do I want to die now?
Of all times, places, people, memories, why now?
I […]
God loves a fool. That is the reason I am still here. It is not because I have strong survival skills. My parents was proud of having a strong baby girl overcoming autism.
Unfortunately, I am not. I think it is a mistake they made for having me. Somehow I think I am burden to them as well as to this world. I guess if it weren’t for me, the autistic kid, my sister and brother could have turned out well . I grew with the world centering around me . I spent my entire childhood visiting psychiatrist, trying all kinds of things […]
Last year on December 9th I lost my virginty, to a guy I thought really liked me. We where talking over the summer and he was always busy. After many tries we finally saw each other. The place where we going to go was closed so he said lets just go to the park. He asked if I had any smokes, I told him no. So we went across the street and he made me pay for the cigs. As we got to the park it […]
So today I started posting on this blog for suicidal people. I posted and eventually a buncha people started egging me on to cut myself some more. Obviously I have terrible self esteem so I did it. I started broadcasting my cutting. They were asking for it. So I did it. How did my life get so bad? Why is my timing in life so bad? Nobody will ever understand. They’ll all just assume. Assume assume. All I’ve ever wanted is a girlfriend. I went to a seminar in las vegas to gain confidence with woman. Shortly afterwards I had sex with the first non […]
Hi
This is my first time writing on here and I am kind of scared to talk. I’m quite shy.
But hey, I might aswell tell you what I am hoing through.
People hate me. Short and sweet I know but it is true. People just hate who I am.
I cut. Just like everyone expects me to do. I mean, people expect me to want to end my life, and I do, but the point is I can leave wheni I want to leave. Its not like anyone would care anyway.
My story? Well it all started when my sister died. I was only […]
I fell like I’m walking down a long dark hallway….feeling the walls trying to find the light….searching and searching….never being able to find it….the hallway goes on forever…..never ending but always dark…..sometimes I feel like I’ve found it…a way out…..a door that escapes from the long dark halls….but someone or something keeps pulling me back in…..I’m a prisoner to these dark halls….waiting and waiting for a way out….
Two weeks ago I left the psych ward after three months of trying to recover from depression and anxiety. Before I left, the shrinks there questioned me about how my three month stay had helped me. I lied, told them it changed something, told them it had made a difference, told them that “it taught myself a lot about me”. In truth, nothing has changed, but I didn’t have the balls to tell them about it. I felt like I had just wasted a quarter year of my life twiddling thumbs. I still feel anxious. I still feel depressed. I still feel like I could […]
I’m done. The world is a broken place that refuses to be fixed. No one has ever tried to make me happy, so me I deserve it, nothing. When everyday I constantly have to help those around me, give advice, and be motivational. When all I get in a return is arrogance. Sometimes I wonder if I ever really belong here, like really truly. All I am is a face in the crowd, who just keeps getting shoved down. I’ve been called ugly, rude, a ***** so many things I just cant count anymore. I’m done trying to have hope for a brighter future, everything […]
I have no idea how long its been since i was last on here but i know its been awhile. I miss coming on the site everyday reading everyone’s stories, trying to help.
This week has been really rough for me. I have had 2 friends who tried killing themselves. Honestly i cant take this anymore. It hurts. I stayed up 2 nights in a row trying to talk one of them out. But it didn’t work…he tried and failed, thank god. I dont know what i would do without him in my life, he has talked me out of suicide a lot. theres something about […]
Well ever since sixth grade I have felt alone. Even though I have a best friend. half the time I don’t think she wants to be friends with me. I am getting to the point where I am close to giving up again. I cant keep feeling like a nothing. I always feel worthless and alone. I have no clue that else to do anymore. Nobody at my school likes me, so instead they pick on me and tease me. I tried telling the teachers but nothing helped or worked. I cant even ride the bus anymore because I can’t handle the teasing that happens […]
I’ve been fighting this for years. Trying to be happy in spite of it all. It’s always worse in the morning. Feelings I’m sure you know all too well.. Such an intense mixture of negative emotions, feeling hopeless and hurt. Every morning I wake up to suicidal urges. My family keeps me from it. I cry when I imagine the pain I’d leave behind. So I carry on. Not so much living, but existing. I try to live, but how can I? Happiness seems like a myth. And yet I continue to reach for it. But the most frightening thing is that I think, deep […]
Yeah. Silly silly me. Why give away your trust so easily every single time? You trust people so easily. Is this what you want? Every single time, to be hurt by people. Is this the life you want, the life you’re willing to live. Steel your heart and conceal. You are not worth their time. Lies. Lies. Lies.
Shut up you incompetent fool. You are a worthless piece of shit. No one will give a duck about you. Stop trying to mix with humans. You do not belong here. Leave. Be like a ghost. Yeah.
Yeah. Yep. That would be the last straw. Disappear from this reality. […]
A little time ago I tried to kill myself.
I was taking these meds for depression and anxiety and also some kind of sleeping pills, ’cause I was feeling really bad. I have abandoned school and I’ve spent my days sleeping, crying, talking with my therapist, doing to myself all kind of self harm, drinking all night and things like these.
I was afraid of the night, ’cause even if my mother was trying to take care of me ’cause she knew everything, at night I was somehow always alone. When everyone slept I was always still there, facing my demons in the dark, trying not to […]
No one seems to truly care. It all seems like they superficially care and love me, but no one wants to sacrifice their time to help me in this crazy fast and lost world. You talk about depression and every body is like “Just be happy” or wants to give you tough love, as if that would help! I need somebody to walk it out with me, in person!
And then the subject of suicide is brought up and almost everybody says those people are cowards.
Look for help and all they wanna do is give you medication. I dont want medication, I want true love, help […]
I want a mom, a mom who cares for me a mom who loves me, i just need support from her, caring and loving that’s all i want. Someone who can just sit around tell me how much there proud of me, someone who looks at me like i was worth something, someone who believes and me and that don’t trow me away like a piece of shit over school grades… Mom what did i ever did to you, i’m sorry i was born, i’m so sorry, i know you regrets it, you’ve told me so many times, i see it, i know it, Mom […]
It has been over 8 months since my last suicide attempt. I was finally some what a happy person, but now I just don’t think I can do it anymore. I know I’m a teenager and I’m obviously going to get upset but my suicidal thoughts have never been this bad. The pain that I feel inside is starting to become unbearable where I have started cutting myself with razors again. I thought if I started cutting again the pain would go away a little bit but shocker it didn’t. I bet we’ve all been here, thinking about life and how different it would be if we were gone, wondering if […]
I gave my friend my tablet so he could text his girl & Instead of going to the messages he went to messeger.I looked as soon as he gave It to me & saw that It was on a conversation with an ex.When you click on It the first thing you see Is messages of her trying to stop me the day I attempted.Re-reading what I said that day Is shocking.It happened this year so If he looked at the date he must think I’m a nut.I’m so deleteding ALL my messages.I’m just In shock.