Why am I here?

I may not know here, but just from your post I can tell that you are very, very brave and strong. Brave for posting on here, strong because you’re doing this not only for yourself but for others. I don’t know you, but you inspire me. Keep being strong, because the world needs people like you. You can do this.
I cut because people expected it of me too. I don’t know when it began, but I had this feeling that it was the only thing left. Hear me, you do not have to be who others think you should be. You have multiple reasons to be sad and it may seem like the world is out to get you, I know. I’ve been there – but show them, show those who hate you that even with all you’ve gone trough, you stand tall. Set the expectation for yourself, don’t let others. You can be great, you can be an example. Also just a ps: oftentimes those who seem to hate you don’t know what they’re doing, maybe try talking to them about how they make you feel? If nothing else, stay for your mum; she lost your sister, your brother, and your dad as well. Try talking to her about it, she may be hurting just as much or even more than you.
Cutting does not control you, you control you. With some work, it is very possible to stop. Cutting can get you into serious trouble, it can seriously hurt you, please, please try and stop. Something that worked for me was that whenever I felt like cutting I would immediately focus my mind on something I enjoyed doing (I would play guitar instead.) Sometimes I would cry and just hold onto my guitar, not even playing, because the pull was so hard.
I am a survivor. I am 10 months clean of cutting 🙂 If it means anything, I love you. Be strong.