I was sitting on my porch when my phone rang. It was my friend Mel calling. I could already hear in her voice she wasn’t okay. She said to me. ” am sorry I haven’t been in touch, it’s just that my depression has gotten worst and I had taken in. I got super skinny and been going to doctor allot and they are still running some test. It is just that I have been so ALONE…. And I have tried killing myself a couple of times. “. I felt Horrible. Little did she know I was cutting myself just the week before. And […]
Well the honest reason is that I suddenly realised that I’m sick of trying. I’m sick of it all. I go to sleep at night telling myself that it’s almost over, just be strong for a little while longer take it one day at a time. But I can’t do it. I feel like I spend every second trying to just hold on. Trying not to break. I don’t know if I can do it anymore. I just want it to be over. Is that really so bad? I’m tired and I need it to be over. I don’t have anything left in me. It’s […]
we bleed just to know that were alive. you hurt yourslef on the outside trying to kill the monster on the inside. the worst thing about being sad is that your not really sure about what makes you happy anymore. its like i can compose my self when i with people but when im alone i totally just break down… I’ll adimt it, i stress out, i cry, i hide my emotions, i fake a laugh, i hurt but you know what? i’m trying and its not very easy
Finally I can have this back. Finally got *him* to leave this alone. God where the hell do I start? I was in the bathroom one day and I just filled up the tub. No bubbles. No nothing. It’s not like I was trying to have a bubble bath. And I got in and went underwater. As long as I could. Knowing that I’ll struggle and finally come up for air once I can’t take anymore. But I wanted to suffer. Feel me black out. I sat there for 2 hours of just complete silence. I’ve had a relapse and it’s horrible.
If I could do it and not hurt her, I think I would be gone. I wish I could do it and her not think it’s her fault. I wish she knew that I did it because I am the worthless one who is trying to save her from anymore pain. She is my sunshine. With out her my world is very dark.
Hey..
Did you know that I cried myself to sleep last night?
Did you know that I sit alone in class?
Did you know that my friends talk behind my back?
Did you know that I fake a smile?
Did you know that I lie when I say I’m alright?
Hey… Hey, mom..
Did you know that thoughts of suicide became an ordinary thing for me?
Did you know that it hurt when you called me fat?
Did you know what I go through at school?
Did you know how much it hurts when I don’t get a higher mark in my tests, and to see the disappointment on everyone’s faces when I fail their […]
I’m a 42 year old woman and I have battled depression all of my life.  I have three serious failed suicide attempts that landed me in ICU.  I’m suffering from a clinical depression and I’m on four anti-depressants that are not giving me any relief.  I’m such a burden on my family that I don’t want to live anymore.  My mom has been with me for 12 weeks and is going back home in a couple of days.  I had to move back in with my ex-husband because I could not take care of myself.  I stopped eating because I had no appetite.  I feel guilty […]
Everyone sees me as the “happy person” ready to cheer anyone up, but what they dont see is what im truly feeling broken, damaged, hurt, depressed, useless etc. I dont fit like everyone else , im just like that puzzle peice that never fits in any spot because it wasnt meant to be there in the first place.
“im trying to find the world that a belong to, its just not this one..im just passing through..”
“Life is what happens while you’re busy trying to fix RSI.” (repetitive strain injury) [this is actually paraphrased]
Now substitute “RSI” with whatever you haven’t been able to fix or change, regardless of who is at fault or to blame. It could be paralysis or disease or heartbreak, or even chronically reduced self-esteem, due to an abusive childhood, or even just “bullying.” It could even be that you simply realized that humanity seems to embrace and prioritize the most absurd things and notions, and even decides to mandate injustice and tyranny into “law.”
To simplify:
“Life is what happens while we’re busy trying to fix what went wrong […]
Though no one that knows me will ever see this, I felt it necessary to write these last words. I don’t know why.
Tonight, it will end. Thirty-one years was too long to stay alive. My mother should have aborted me instead of abandoning me at the hospital. I wish I hadn’t thrown up the pills when I was ten. I wish the gun hadn’t misfired when I was fourteen. I wish I would’ve jumped off the bridge on my eighteenth birthday, instead of losing courage. I was told to hold on and be strong as a child. As a teenager, I was told my twenties […]
I thought partial suspension with a drop would be easier than partial suspension without a drop. I was wrong. It still requires willpower to (step off)/kick the drop point. I managed to step off after a while. Unfortunately, I was able to get back on the drop point. Moreover, I found that the drop point was too low as my toes touched the floor. Furthermore, my left hand was trying to stop me. On Friday morning this week, I will try again. I will do so from a higher suspension point so that my feet are off the floor. I will also tie my hands […]
Married, merely just around 5 months ago.. I am kinda unsettled, doesn’t know driving a car much, and although I am optimistic, but sometimes I do realize that it’s been long since I smiled from heart, and this causes me a feeling of helplessness and suicidal tendency.
Till around 1 month of marriage, it was going smooth and happily, but after that, I did some mistakes, and those caused some problems in my married life. I love my wife, but she says she has less attachment towards me, my family or even my city. She is suffering from depression and many times she suffers from pain, […]
 I don’t think I want to kill myself quite as badly as I just want to stop participating in modern day life. We go to school, get a job, buy shit we really don’t need, and rarely ask “why the fuck am I doing this”?
If you live in society you need money to pay for essentials like food, shelter and clothing. But do you really need a cellphone, a car, furniture, credit cards, internet access, health care, etc? Is any of that essential for survival? No, but you want it, so you work in order to earn […]
I am ‘the thing’.
Evolve me. Clap- clap. Clap- clap.
From hell. Clap- clap. Clap.
Evolve me. Evolve me. Clap- clap. Clap-clap.
From hell. From hell! Clap- clap- clap!
From hell! From hell! Clap- clap- clap- clap- clap- clap.
Forever and ever. Always and forever.
My name is Nevermore.
I am ‘the thing’. Celestial Slowbro and Golduck.
Only eye-candy. Staryu and Starmie.
Let me be. Let me be. Take me. Pull me.
Oracle, I have monthly bounty.
Let us go, and grow plants and flowers, perhaps.
Let me go train like a fire pokemon. Never end rock pokemon.
Machamp is the champ, he can beat Mewtwo.
My problems are probably minimal compared to what others have gone through but it still feels like a lot to me. I feel like my family hates me, they always yell at me, including my sister who is literally trying to control my life at the moment. My parents think i’m immature and probably doing drugs because i like going out with my friends and so they yell at me for nothing. Really they look for reasons to yell at me and everytime I’m yelled at i end up cutting, I don’t want to cut but it’s temporary relief and for a second I forget […]
Do you really think we need to live with other human beings?
My experience proved 90% of our problems wipe out if we stay alone and out of the society. Only thing we need to deal with is boredom.
Most of the things that humans do is foolish. No one really has profound reason for what they trying to achieve with life.
If a person struggling to become president of USA or Entrepreneur trying to create empire worth billions of money and has huge impact on human race  these kind of thing may worth all the struggle a humans undergo.
If you ask these 90% of people- they really don’t know […]
Let me ask a stupid question again. So I am taking part in this research study on how sports activity affects depressed people. We are 5 participants and 4 jogging instructors, but it was only the first meeting, so apparently more people will join in later. Anyways, some of you may know I am shy. And I was running next to a girl for the first 10 minutes and we said nothing, it was really awkward. Eventually she just jogged past me and started talking to another girl and I ended up talking to another computer science student about technical stuff. It really bothers me […]
Is exactly how I envisioned it would be as a child. Fun things suddenly become boring.. days go by slower with less to do, people get angrier and stop caring about you. More and more of my day is devoted to being sad. I’m forced to do things I don’t want to with people I don’t like. Life chooses winners and losers. I’ve spend so much time trying to find a sense of meaning in anything, anywhere. Hope is a crutch for children  – bowing and bending until it shatters under the weight of your grief and pity fucking sadness. I don’t know how any of you find your way out […]
Ahhhhhha, I don’t know what to say , basically I’m screwd up as hell.
It just seems to be over , I’m done with all of the shit I’m facing.
Abailtity to feel I’ve lost it , I don’t how to feel or what to feel Im just tired of myself nd I’m tired of this shit. It makes me sick.
I know this all shit I’m writing , makes really no sense.
Starting with my parents. I’m a child of divorced parents nd that sucks , I’m sick of dealing with the shit ur parents are giving u!!! Like Man my mom doesn’t wanna […]
So, I’ve been depressed for about 2 years when my ex broke up with me. It wasn’t like that at first; I gradually became depressed.
Anyhow, she was my first girlfriend at the age of (me) 23, and (her) 18.
Unable to move past her, despite trying, I tried to suffocate my self with a plastic grocery bag and a couple of rubberbands over my head and neck, respectfully. First time I panicked within three minutes; second time my skin started to tingle in the hands and feet.
I had left my ex a little deathnote, asked her not to stop me, and ended up stopping myself twice. […]