Ahhhhhha, I don’t know what to say , basically I’m screwd up as hell.
It just seems to be over , I’m done with all of the shit I’m facing.
Abailtity to feel I’ve lost it , I don’t how to feel or what to feel Im just tired of myself nd I’m tired of this shit. It makes me sick.
I know this all shit I’m writing , makes really no sense.
Starting with my parents. I’m a child of divorced parents nd that sucks , I’m sick of dealing with the shit ur parents are giving u!!! Like Man my mom doesn’t wanna leave me and so does somehow my dad wants. But damn my mom always makes me feel like I’m a burden nd she wasted all of life for me. Like come on man , and than there’s my dad for the past 9 years he never came to see me and now he’s like O my kiddo shit , I seriously don’t wanna live with both of them I’m just hell tired of everyone. But that child of divorced parents , though I don’t give a darn about that crap. I’m just tired of myself , I don’t know how to feel like I just wanna sit in a dark room and just cry , I’m numb. I feel that way it’s not becuz of my parents. I just don’t know why do I feel That way , I just wanna be alone,
I wanna stand on the end of a big cliff and yell loudly , nd jump I just wanna feel the warmth of the blood flowing from my head and have a realif smile on my face and than die. I cry myself to sleep every night , tears come without any obvious reason. I just feel like dragging the blade on my skin ,I just like myself covered with blood and than die. I can’t explain how I feel but feeling this way has destroyed me I can not fight with demons inside me I just wanna die, even If I had a chance to solve or make somebody else understand the shit I’m going through I’d never do it. I don’t even have anyone not even a brother and though my dad doesn’t like me or doesn’t wanna be with me. I wanna be alone , lonely. I’m sick of this shit. I just wanna commit suicide for no such a obvious reason as I told before. In simple words I’m tired of life. 🙁 🙁 🙁 , I’ve lost all my interest in every single damn thing. At this point I don’t really care anymore , Hah.. I’m not worth it. It’s not worth it anymore. Waking up and trying. Over and over again. Repeating the same god damn fucking routine. None of it is worth.The fact that I’ve become so scared of living instead of dying screams me. When that day comes, I’ll be so happy. I’m just tired of nothing. I just fucked everything up.
From inside I’m completely hollow , empty , dark feeling this way is so much fucking creepy ,I just wanna go in a mental hospital n spend my fucking life there were I could be alone I’m just tierd literally tired , life is shit nd than u die , people don’t die from suicide they die from sadness. 🙁 🙁 🙁 * Crying*
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4 comments
How old are you if you don’t mind me asking? I come from a divorced family and believe me we were better off because my parents fought all the time. Financially we’d be better off if they stayed together but my dad is very domineering so my mother would’ve suffered a lot.
As a child I didn’t understand much so I wanted them to be together, but as I got older I finally realized that despite the hardship they’re better off divorced.
I don’t really know what your issues are-your post wasn’t too clear but obviously you’re having a hard time. Consider seeing a counsellor or if you can live with someone else that might be better.
It’s hard to give any decent advice when the idea of being dead is appealing to you. I have my own set of problems-primarily my life that I’d like to just walk away from. I had a good run initially and now I’m not living for anything. I have no beautiful memories to look back towards. My life was largely scraping to get by and diminished return and happiness. Now the odds have gotten even less favorable.
Anyways you sound young-if I could give up everything I have right now to be young again I might go for it but then young or old life can be tough. At least at this age I am independent and have an income. Good luck in whatever you do.
Thanks, I’m 16 years old. I’m just tired of life and don’t even have anything to look forward too 🙁 🙁 🙁
Ridzz,
No one is so far gone that they cannot change their lives. Not getting the appreciation or attention from a parent is very hurtful, and can create a void that can sometimes consume one’s everyday life. What’s happened may not be fair, I know; however you must understand that your parents love you, despite the lack of attention. If you’re unhappy at home, then work towards getting yourself an apartment post graduation. Having the notion that no one loves you at home, essentially makes you your own worst enemy. Be strong, I believe in you.
Thanks. 🙂 but really I’m not an attention seeker, though I don’t even care that my parents love me or not. I feel this way it’s not becuz of my parents , I just wanna be alone , u will never understand me , when I don’t even understand myself 🙁 🙁 I’m just tired of all of this shit !!! 🙁