I don’t know why I have felt bad all this time. I don’t even know why I’m currently feeling so down. Looking at my life, you would say that it’s a really good life. Yeah I do have my ups and downs, but I come from a rich family, I have straight A’s in school, I have tons of friends, I’m usually always in a relationship, whether serious or not, I’m an outgoing, friendly person, I get invited to parties, and I’m really athletic. I play basketball, tennis, soccer, and swimming weekly and If I’m not exercising, I’m hanging out with my friends. So why […]
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Ups And Downs
I turned 21 earlier this mont. Even though im mucch like a child, I feel so jaded and far from my memories. This is my last real birthday worth celebrating. All down hill from here. For about 6 months i’ve been making some feeble attempts at planning a future. I cant bring myself to actively work towards it. I dont want to work or study the rest of my days away. I dont care to date, or try to keep up with the jones. Im bitter. Im lonely aznd i’ve learned that life is nothing but a series of ups and downs. Most people […]
“What hurts when I remember this song is remembering how someone you love doesn’t love you back, aond you feel like it’s the end of the world. Little did I know that when the sun rises, a whole new beginning was looking at me, waiting for me. That beginning will always remembers you and returns when the sun sets. And when the going gets rough, the sun will be there for you until it sets. So in short words there is no end. Just a new beginning. ”
I feel like I haven’t written anything on here in awhile. Anyways, I’ve realized that sometimes life has […]
I have survived abuse, car accidents, living in gang riddin, drug-dealing neighborhood as a child, being married to a cop and having him take my kids and do weird/mind fuck type things to get back at me for leaving him, jail, drug addiction, homelesness, being outcasted from any blood family I new of (I didn’t grow up knowing family really). IDK I’ve been through a hell of alot and all I hear from people that I am strong and what am I gonna do with my life. “I have soo much potential” I’m told.
I’m sick of being here. I am sick of the […]
Even though the history books are not 100% correct one can still glean from them the idea that many past societies had little or no conveniences. Things we accept as normal like running water, plentiful food, protection of children from slavery/chil labor, decent medical care, decent housing and transport.Â
Some places still lack some of those things above. And some of us in better living situations would lament the loss of such things.Â
Add in the various pain and persecution outside of these things and you have one tough enchilada.
Objectively speaking in many cases life would technically be less preferable than death for some people. This is […]
Dear person reading this,
Hold on.
PLEASE hold on.
Life is a ride, ups and downs is what make life fun.
Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Sincerely, someone who cares.
So I’ve thought a lot about why my incessant mind always draws me back to ending it.  I’ve been down that thought pattern too many times to know that it accomplishes nothing.  Every time I get to the breaking point, I can’t help but consider my family and those who know me.  They hold my hand back simply by knowing I exist.  I never decide to stay here for myself, but selfishness is so tempting.  To imagine an eternal sleep that never involves the harsh ups and downs that life causes.  That’s why I really do love the “to be or not to be” soliloquy from Hamlet.
I don’t suffer […]
That’s it. I said I’d wait a month before I made a decision, and I did just that. But now the time has come and the decision has been made. No more strings attached. No more saying goodbye and no more lies.
I have the date and, my method is a sure fire. I can’t afford to screw it up this time around. Besides I doubt I’ll get another chance like this…i hope the people around me who actually gave a damn can forgive me one day, but i figure that I’m doing them more of a favor this way then by sticking around. I’m not […]
sometimes you ask yourself why?? we do these stupid things when in the end we die.. but were all still alive as we walking down the road to the pathway of life.. and even tho we try.. its never easy … sometimes we get lazy ..its hard to stay busy ..we smoke a little weed and we get a little tipsy.. but its fine we need some fun times.. sometimes its good to do a few lines… but don’t be stupid and keep your mind …. you’ll need it.. this life is hard .. but if you believe you know you’ll go far … and […]
I have attempted suicide twice. Once by hanging and once by pills and alcohol.
Both times I saw it as the only way to end the pain of being alive, of living my life, with my thoughts and my ideas of my future.
And both times I was radically incorrect about how my life would turn out. As I write this I am only now aware of that. I was so totally wrong about how things would play out for me, of all the joys and experiences I would have, of the love I would feel, of the ups that would somehow manifest themselves. If I had […]
… and the end game is near. It’s like walking into a cave and it keeps getting darker and narrower. I started coming to this conclusion close to a year ago. Like so many others, I had a decent and comfortable life that was turned upside down by the global economic meltdown. I’ve met adversity before and it does not scare me – I’m kind of a “roll with the punches” kind of guy.
A little background for you all – I’ve been married and divorced 3 times – 2 kids – a girl and a boy, each with a different mother. The girl is an […]
I feel so tired that I wish I could just go to sleep one last time and never wake up again, that would be soo nice right now. And it’s not just a tiredness caused by too many late nights, trust me, it goes much deeper than that. Basically I’ve grown so world weary that I’m tired of life itself and now quite at my wits end for the incessant doubts, fears and anger have really taken their toll on me. Sometimes I think this is all just a bad nightmare and one day I’m going to wake up and everything will be fine, but I […]
I guess I’ll start off with a quick synopsis of who I am before I start explaining what is that’s making me feel suicidal. To start my name is Luke, I’m 19 and I live in St. Louis Missouri, have my whole life. I graduated highschool a little over a year ago and I’m currently going to ITT Tech. I’m overall a middle of the road kinda guy on almost everything. B average student, somewhat attractive, funny at times, etc. Just normal.
Anyway as of late I’ve been feeling pretty bad. Actually I haven’t felt this bad in a long time. For some reason I’ve been […]
I’ve never really understood things the way others seem to and I often feel out of place. It seems just when I start feeling good about life and feel like there is something I can really get behind and feel proud about supporting, I get shot down by obstacles and people (sometimes those few who are close to me). I’ve always had a view of the world tinted by dreamer’s eyes, and so realism isn’t exactly always my forte. I can get passionate about anything, but I can also get down and out about anything. At the drop of a hat I can turn from […]
I was going ou with Sarah for 3years 4 months. we had our ups and downs just like any normal people. Her life was not a good one but i was there to make it better for her. She wanted to be a veterinary nurses i tryed to help her get to her dream job but couldn’t. so in the ned she did give up on it.
It got to the ponit there I wanted to be with her for the rest of my left but i wanted to be a good husband and get it so that i could look after her and have a […]
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