I’m having another episode right now.. it’s really bad. i want something to happen… i either want to end it all right now or i want someone to just help me out of this and figure out what I should do next… I’m tired of waiting and letting this happen over andover again. please.
Tag:
want
Right now all I want is Chinese food a bottle of sleeping pills ( preferably Tylenol pm ) and a big bottle of white wine. I just want to sleep and dream about happiness. I want to escape into my world and be free.
I think you don’t like me
I feel you despise me
That you laugh and deride me
As I walk out the door
I’m scared if you want me
I feel eyes heat on me
I’ve feelings so lonely
But turn to the wall
I want you to touch me
Not ever to trust me
There is something that must be
But wont be at all
I’m scared that you see me
The scariness leads me
More make me despise me
Make hurt me some more.
The water’s cold and it’s very very deep.
There’s a long long way to go, I’m often tired and want to sleep.
IÂ don’t know where I’m heading but I hope it’ll be ok,
And that most of all that the tiredness and the coldness goes away.
It’s been going on for so long and I often want to stop,
And fall below the waters into that icy peaceful drop.
I’m scared of what I’ll find below, if I do give up,
I’m scared how long I’ll keep going, if conditions don’t let up.
I’ve met other swimmers from their own unfriendly seas.
They came to mine for a while, as I was tired, […]
I hope you can make me love myself more.
I hope you can make life a little more sure.
I hope you can touch me and make me feel good.
I hope I’ll make you happy, as for that I should.
I hope you’ll make me pretty, inside and out.
I hope you’ll show me what supposed ‘love’ is all about.
I hope you’ll make me happy, certain and bright.
I hope you can make it turn out alright.
I hope you can stop me from being so wrong.
I hope you’ll give me reason to go on.
I hope you’ll like music and show me fun.
I hope you’ll show how enjoying life is done.
I […]
My half or so the one i stole the body from torments me. She screams at me. She uses imeges of others against me. At five i replaced her sole with mine… im sorry.
I just want to go and forget everything. I just want to vanish out of thin air without a trace.
I could never say this in public. I get such a hopeful feeling when I read about SP members who have escaped this life. It’s tragic that they, or anyone, would suffer so much that they have to kill themselves. But being in that hell myself, I can only focus on the escape, imagining myself in their place, and using that to remind myself that there is an end to this pain.
I guess we talk & think about it so much, some of us for years, that suicide starts to feel like an impossible dream. Sometimes the more we obsess over an idea, the more […]
How much do you actually want to die?
10, but I have to give myself a 9.9 because my family would fall apart if I do actually do it.
I was on my way home from a rehearsal on Saturday evening. I wasn’t having a particularly bad day but it wasn’t great either. I don’t know why, but I just became overwhelmed with feelings and all the shit that’s been going on lately. I hate it when this happens. I’ll be completely fine one second and then the next I’m bawling my eyes out or I’m so angry that I start hitting things or myself. i don’t understand why this happens. it’s scary because I was literally standing on the platform at the train station waiting for the train to come so I could […]
I really want to die. To much is changing and I don’t like it. I’m probably getting coupled by a good friend I kinda have crush on that I don’t want to accept because I’m a philophobe…
I want to hang somewhere now 😕
I’m 37. And I’m an asshole. I’ve hurt people. Because I have fears. My mother was murdered christmas of 1999. My father, who always treated me like I was nothing, died christmas 2006. I always blamed myself for my mother’s death. I should have been there. I also have a severly autistic son, which I also blame myself for. In fact, she tells me all the kids are fucked up because of me. And I lost the one person that I loved more than anything due to me. Nobody else. And I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that I’m the problem. Me. […]
and I still don’t want to be alive.
Okay so it’s late here and I’m wide awake, lying in bed and i’m unable to fall asleep.
I was doing okay today and then suddenly, at about midnight, it hit me again. The sadness and emptiness and pain, everything just hit me again. How my brother is not here, in his room above me. And it’s still so unreal, still, after a year and a half. I still sometimes wonder if this isn’t just some nightmare. Because how can it be gone? How can a life that has been built up over almost 16 years be gone in 1 second? I just can’t wrap my […]
I just want to say that I love you all. As a community of fucked up people, social outcasts, great minds, the cold and lonely and unlucky people
written by RogueShadow1281
I love you all. Been on here since i was 15. And on that fateful day I chose to look up suicide methods. I ignored the website that talked about help and such and came here. I found people who were interesting and like me. Although my problems were faint in comparison, it still meant people who were relating and also helpful in my time of need.
I thank you all for your support and to the admins even when i was a shitbag troll. I’m sorry for that. I love you all, as my great friends in a suicidal community. Talk to me on kik […]
If you’re bored and just want to chat feel free:)
This is going to sound ridiculous, but I don’t think my body was meant to last as long as it had. I tried to kill myself a couple of years ago and failed (obviously). I am currently in my first year of university, and a lot of my joints have been giving me increasingly more problems. It started with just my ankles, but now my wrists, knees and shoulders are paining more and more often. It’s as if my body it breaking because it was not meant to go on as long as it has.
I also see nothing in the future. All my ‘friends’ have […]
Many human lives are clueless, at end of life “what you did with 100 years” finds no answer
Most of things on earth (god, rules, ethics, philosophy, technology) are developed by few confident, intelligent, strong humans
remaining all species really don’t have any clue on what the shit they living for
1. Not enough money for live the way we want
2. Even if keep accumulating the money with job doing, it takes a life to make reasonable amount of money.
3. Any how we die, why the shit we should undergo lots of pain to continue doing what we are.
Exaggerations… Using words like, “never”, “always”, “nothing”, “everything”, “nobody”, “everyone”… Those are lies.
There are certainties like heat, and gravity, and the concept of time. Sure. Those are irrelevant.
But apathy and ambivalence are illusions to hide pain and pleasure. Sorrow and joy… These are human.
This is – simply – you.
And it is your right to enjoy your existence.
The reason you demand satisfaction is because “happiness” is the truth.
I know who I am. I feel. I’m alive. And sometimes, just sometimes I don’t want that. I’m real.
I need you to be real with me.
Love,
HeartCore
I hate my self so much I just want to die life is hell please if I could just feel better maybe I wouldn’t need to die anymore my life just causes pain and that is the last thing I want to do I don’t want to die anymore I need to it seems like the only ending
How long does it take to suffocate? Just wondering if anyone knows . If you dont know then please dont respond. Dont tell me not to do it or I have choices or im not trying hard enough or I feel sorry for myself. Ya every body goes through shit and someone always has it worse , still want to die so tell me what you know or dont please. I just wanna know how long it takes.if anyone knows I dont want advice I just want to leave this world I dont care. I dont have family or friends im alone so it wont […]