This is my first post so I don’t know where to even start. First off I am so depressed and unhappy. Nothing can go right. The only people who are keeping me alive are my friends but my parents want to take them from me and pull me out of school. My whole family is so mean to me. They always say I’m stupid and lazy yet I do all my chores and I’m in AP and college courses. They get mad when I’m tired because apparently I shouldn’t be tired since all I do all day is sit at school and take notes. I […]
want
So my cousin who I consider More of a friend and my friend from high school get along really well and we all hang out but now they are both in relationships and the 4 of them get along so well they are talking about double dates and I just left bcoz I have no1 and even if I did I don’t know how to be in a relationship or what love feels like the only example I have growing up is not 1 that I consider love and It is I don’t want it but I have also just lost the only 2 friends […]
I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s like a crippling black hole inside of me is sucking the life out of me. I feel so alone, I am so alone. I have two friends at college but they’re busy most of the time with work and class, leaving me in my solitude. I don’t want to go on anymore, I want to relapse on cutting when I’ve been mainly clean for nearly three years, but I don’t want the scars, the repercussions, the consequences. I just need something, an outlet. I’m so lost, so hopeless. I want to curl up and die, disappear, not […]
I want to be high all the time I love pills I need them to feel normal or happy. I just want to fade away. im so tired of the pain and the acting like im okay because if I tell the truth they’ll send me away again I don’t want to go away unless its permanent.
What does being happy mean to you guys? I want to learn how to be happy so I can make someone else happy. My depression always gets in the way. I just want to be happy. I want to know what happiness feels like. Can you fall in love when you don’t love yourself?
The worst day was last week, seeing the guy I have loved so deeply and gave my all to go for the first girl who showed interest. Given the time to think, I really hate her. She played innocent to get my confidence as well, so that I would tell her how much I love this guy. When in secret, she was telling him she was interested in him. He goes for it because she is young, short and skinny. She admits to having multiple boyfriends and being polyamourus and the one she lives with looks well older than me. I don’t think it’s romantic. […]
Whether or not they have a terminal illness, shouldn’t they decide if they want their life to end? People are allowed to have abortions. If you can determine when to end an unborn child’s life, then how come it’s such an issue whether or not we can end our own? If anyone can help me find effective ways to end my life, I would appreciate it greatly. Please email me at ceasethecranium@yahoo.com if you would like to talk about it.
I just want to cry. To curl up and cry until I sleep. My depression is kicking in and I don’t want to deal with it. Over the days it will get worse and my imagination will start to take over and become my reality. I don’t want to deal with this.
I have just graduated high school and in high school a few of my friends developed eating disorders and got extremely thin. I remember being worried about them and thinking what they were doing was crazy and trying to think of anything I could do to help without harming our friendship. As I got older and gained weight while some of my friends didn’t because of their disorders or over cautious dieting, I started to feel self conscious about my size and disliked my body a lot. Also with all of the media portrayal of perfectly skinny girls I felt very ashamed of my size […]
I keep spinning back to the darkness. I have one good day and then cycle down to the lowest low. I KNOW I should be seeing a therapist but there is no money for such luxury. I am intensely jealous of all the people in my life who do not work – have not worked for years – and they have shrinks. They see doctors. They have every medication under the sun to even them out. What’s my med? I get to fake it. That’s my med. I get to wake up every day and go to work and be nice and friendly and productive. […]
49 yo and want to end my miserable existence. I just can’t cope anymore with this depression, and Ptsd. It has eaten me alive and destroyed any hope that I had. I have everything planed out, and with urges getting stronger every day, I don’t think it will be to long before I follow through. It breaks my heart knowing the pain I will cause those near and dear to me, but alive I am hurting them just as much if not more.
I haven’t cut myself for like 2 months, but I really want to right now. I just need to feel the pain.
I am so dissatisfied with my life. So much that if a natural disaster occurred to kill me or someone murdered me, I would probably be okay. I don’t want to commit suicide, or I guess I can’t. I’m too scared. I’ve thought about cutting, but I think about the pain and how I have to bring a knife to my skin, and I just can’t. I feel so stressed. I have so many dreams and goals that I want to achieve, but I know that my dreams are just dreams and that reality will catch up sooner or later. Reality that I’m not smart, […]
I think I might have made a post like this some time ago, but the last few months have been … odd, to understate the case. I have some facets, some core beliefs I’ve formed, that make me an impossible girl indeed.
1) I’m a grey ace. Grey asexual. I can feel some sexual desire, though largely when reading erotic fic or something, sometimes for someone I care about, but I don’t want sex. Romance, yes. Sex, no. It took me a very long time to accept that this doesn’t make me broken, it simply puts me on a different […]
Would a check of 10 million dollars cure your depression? If I signed you a check, would you take it? Would that make you want to live? Maybe a trip to a luxurious destination would liberate you from depression? Maybe splurging on a yacht with so many amenities. Would that really cut it??
Why do I have to feel this way everyday. I’m so sick and tired of crying. I have no one to talk to. They’re all using me. This is my only way to let my feelings out. I don’t think I should hold them in anymore. But I don’t want to be here. I miss my grandma. I don’t want to be alone anymore.
I feel so bad. I feel empty. I don’t know what the purpose for me living is. The only reason I haven’t killed myself yet is because my parents would be very sad if I died. But why should I just keep living because of them? After all, they’re part of the reason I want to kill myself. I just don’t know what to do.
Sorry if this is a total ramble but nothing makes sense anymore & I need to talk to someone. My entire life is completely fucked. The crazy thing is, I have to best mates and a boyfriend that care about me (at least I think they do) but none of them understand. I mean really understand. My dad died 8 years ago, my 15 year old moved out 9 months ago to live with my ***** mother (don’t even get me started on that subject!), I’ve been forced to rent out my two bedrooms to cover the rent (I’m living in the lounge), I have […]
My depression gets worst everyday I cry every night I don’t cut myself everyday but I do every week I haven’t told anyone and I’m scared if I don’t get help that one day when I don’t want help and someone helps me I’ll ignore them everyday I want to kill myself I’m just scared to commit suicide I don’t think I could do that to everyone who loves and cares about me and if one day I can’t take it anymore I think I’ll actually kill myself I feel so lonely I just want someone to be there for me so I can know […]
Ah, the beginning of the school year. Makes you want to tear up a little, doesn’t it? I mean, anxiety attacks are no stranger to me, so tearing up comes naturally. But hearing that first bell in the hallowed halls of Woodford High School made me cringe in my Vera Bradley backpack. Don’t get me wrong, getting to see the little freshman cower in fear was SSOO much fun, but seeing all the couples and relationships makes me want to smack my head on a wall. It’s fine though. The first day isn’t always as horrible as people make it out to be. I mean, […]