There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
want
My gender kind of really gets me down, which causes me to freak out and cut, to feel a little bit better. And I feel like I don’t want to live if I don’t know who I am, and I can’t live like this much longer.
I identify as genderfluid or genderflux, but use she/her pronouns in everyday life (mainly because no-one knows). I hate the fact that I don’t feel I can be open about my gender, because of my family. They’d be okay with it, but I just wouldn’t want them to treat me differently.
I don’t know whether I want to start […]
i hate the organization im working for. i hate giving away my money to these fuckin organizations that cant be trusted. why i would i want to do that and get other people to do it. these organizations swindle so many people out of cash and there are so many looking for hand outs. its fucking annoying. its so true like we should take care of our […]
I’ll put everything
I’m singing this opera
From every which way
I wonder, why are you
Don’t be so close to me
I’m the, incarnation of
The voice of Espeon
All that I have, ever say
Uh, do you want
Uh, to battle
With me
I’ll approach
And there’s nothing
That you will be
I made to her, the signal
Across
I just want, to
I hope that you found, the sound
.
Walls
Where do I
Walls
Where do I
How do I fight
Tear down
Okay then
Nowhere, to fall
I just want
To install
I only have one
I just want my
Okay then
Sometimes I always go into deep thought about my life. Sometimes I feel like i have good days. But then at night i just think. Like, why should i live if i know people dont want me around? Why should i have to live, constantly feeling like people hate me for no reason? Why should I live, knowing there’s no reason to? My mom doesn’t know that i feel this way. But if i try telling her she’ll say im stupid . My guess is that she just doesn’t want to believe that i could feel this way.
My mom is a nurse and she […]
Didn’t get what i needed
But i talked to someone and it calmed me down
Im still here- scared as hell.. feel like shit
But I want you to know that your comments (on my last post) today – i read them and they matter to me. Thank you
When you feel so alone and cut off its hard to see anything but the darkness..its around me and in me – its trying to win and i’m trying to fight.. i want to give up so badly but something keeps me here… Right now, i keep running to my room for solace- i have panic attacks and the feeling of overwhelming dread […]
I dont know what to do I’m scared of death because I have so many dreams but without him my dreams seem to have no meaning.i have no hope for the future.i know you will tell me that no girl should give her life to a guy but I have he has now become a part og me and now he’s jist drifting away from me…I cant live without him, if I jave to share him then I’d rather die and feel no pain
I’ve tried it before but instead of me dying I ended up losing my baby unaware that I was carrying and I […]
They make me feel better émotions-wise but it’s fake, it’s all fake feelings made by some white fucking pill; escitalopram. It doesn’t stopy my suicidal thoughts either, they’re not based on emotion. I don’t want them gone though, they comfort me in times of need. I want to explode. I will explode. I’m fucked.
I know it’s recommeneded to not give out your name, but honestly right now I need a friend. I need someone. Anyone. I feel hopeless, broken beyond repair. My name Is James.
I’ve tried to die multiple times now. Times where I just snapped and gave in, others where I couldn’t take the pain anymore. I couldn’t take the abuse and the bullying. It’s left me completely broken. I thought it wouldn’t get worse.. But it got much much worse..
Lately my whole life has been destroyed. I let myself love again..and It only ended in pain. I let someone get too close..told them things about me […]
I dont understand why i hate myself to where i want to die. Somehow i envy the dead. Theyre so peacful and here are us. Walking about in agony and such sadness. Why cant things be better? Why do I try so hard and end up going no where or being the fifth wheel? what am i meant for besides being a total failure?
I wish I could just die already. I’m so sad all the time and I know that there is no way to escape it anymore. It feels like there’s this animal that lives in my stomach that eats every spark of happiness away. Any emotion at all is torn to pieces and all that is left is this shitty body.
I already walk around like a zombie, everyone knows it. I can hear people saying it behind my back. They treat me as if I’m a bomb; and time is slowly ticking away. What hurts me is that they’re completely right, and I am looking forward […]
I have been feeling so down these past few days emotionally mostly out of loneliness and past thoughts haunting me. I really want to go down to the local festival tonight. But I don’t want to go a lone. It gets depressing watching the happy couples walk around and the groups of friends. My dating life is pretty much in the pits right now. I have talked to a few guys since me and my ex broke up but they led to no where and I got to be honest most of the single guys around my area suck! well due to the fact that […]
I wish being good to him was enough. I wish giving everything I have to give was enough. I wish loving and adoring him were enough. I wish it wasnt all about looks and money. I wish I could be the one to worship him. I wish I counted. I wish he believed my love was real instead of desperation as he thinks it is. I wish he weren’t superficial at all. I wish I didn’t have to be without him. He thinks it’s unhealthy to love just one person… and I don’t think it’s anything close to love to want a dozen or more […]
Why should I keep living if all I’m going to do is die? Yes I could make a difference in this world but all of our hard work is going to be forgotten when we and our planet dies. I suppose to take pills every day just to help stop the sadness but it is the only feeling that is on repeat and comes a lot. What is so good about being happy or normal? Happy and normal are just words. So why does everyone strive so hard to be happy or normal? I am not saying I don’t do this I don’t but I […]
How do you tell the people who gave you life that you don’t want it anymore?
I’m terrified. I’m trying to tell my parents how I’ve been feeling but I keep putting it off. I am afraid that if I tell them, my mom will either ignore me or yell at me and my dad will be disappointed or hurt me. I just don’t know what to do. At the moment, I would really like to seek professional help. I’ve been feeling really down for years. Actually, it’s more of an on and off kind of thing but it’s getting worse and I’m afraid that I […]
I try to do all the things they say, the things that will make me “better” or make me “normal”. Those magical promised results do not come and I feel robotic and alienated. I feel stuck in a spiral of self blame. I do not have the possibility of a better future to cling to, I am not young and filled with endless potential. It seems impossible to find a community or group to fit into, I’m just too different in ways that make people consider me non human. Someone who does not have basic human desires is uncomfortable to be around. Amongst other things. I have never […]
Hi i need the best way to die, without pain. Please dont try to preach to me i dont have family/friends or anyone by my side so dont use that line on me. But please anyone asap i do not want to live for another week.
… and it’s true.
I was just told this by my GF after she ran through the checklist of all my failures and shortcomings. As if I was completely unaware and aloof of how utterly fucked I am and have been for the last few years. Now, I’m sure she means to somehow motivate me or in some other way try to light a fire under my ass to somehow ferret my way to at least a treading water type of existence in some clever way – she’d be ecstatic if I could manage that.
What’s funny (ironic/weird type funny … and in a twisted way funny ha […]
A death sensor that sends a message of death to suicide project, all in favour say yes
If you want a heart monitor connected to a final death message as proof of death say yes…