I deserve to die. I’ve lost the ones who’ve cared for me the most.
I don’t want to live
So I’ll forever be a ghost
want
I really hate myself for everything.. I lost the love of my life to another guy and honestly I’m gonna end this all. The only reason I wake up is to see her and hear her she’s the reason I live but all that has changed. I wish she’d give me one more chance to prove I’m not like this that I was just making mistakes! I really wanna say sorry for it all! I know I wasn’t the best Aiyana but I’m in love […]
its a descent into madness, the told me so
oh will you please not go
the journey down was a quick little trip
you fall when you slip
i tried to get out but i was held down
we told you to stick around
the padded cell was almost complete
there words were laced with deceit
we only want to help you they cooed
did they know that lying was rude?
i felt so violated when the smiled
there teeth were all filed
this will be quick the assured me
it would be better if they just killed me
that’s not the right attitude to have
oh darling, according to you i’m mad
i know he was kidding but I thought about it and, would i enjoy it if he choked me? stabbed me? I don’t know. I mean, I do want to die.
i wouldn’t mind if it was you
i hope maybe, in a weird way, i could get you angry enough for you to actually maybe scare me away or get rid of me. I don’t know. I’m weird. I’m sorry Elu, I love you, really. sort of. I’m not worth being friends with you. I’m not worthy of you’re kindness or anything.
Maybe one day I can find the courage to leave you alone.
I have hurt a girl. Not just any girl. The girl I am madly in love with. I can’t live with what I have done to her.
I left my wife and kids for her and fell in love…..like forever love. She had been hurt and abused by men in the past. I lied to her by sleeping with my ex the day I left to be with her. I wasn’t honest about it and now she is broken. She compares my hurt to the time she was raped and left for dead under a bridge 18 yrs ago. I never meant for any of this […]
Dear ex who’s name I will not reveal. Lets call him Jeff.
Dear Jeff,
Does love mean practically stalking someone and trying to guilt them into being with you? I’m pretty sure it doesn’t. I attract some Really clingy men and I’m just not an overly affectionate person. I don’t want to stand in the middle of a store and do things that make people question how long […]
I just want to rant/vent
I keep analyzing myself and trying to find a more accurate way of defining what goes on in my head. By definition, It is almost like some violent form of ADHD. There are these sort of sensory gates that feed information to the brain. For someone with ADHD, those gates never close. There is this constant, overwhelming stream of information being fed to the brain at all times. So from what I can tell, (correct me if I’m wrong) a normal train of thought […]
I have had some rough days and nights. One night I came to my limit! I was worn out, exhausted at dealing with all my depression, anxiety, fears, anger…etc by MYSELF! I called my crisis line and got a guy that when I talk to him, I do not feel comfort. I decide, as he answers, I will tell him I only needed to tell someone how sad I was, how worn out I was and that was all. He goes into a speech trying to give me advice and I tell him, I am not looking for advice, I just want to share that feeling so […]
I realized that life is comprised of snapshots Which our children will look at one day and reflect upon with wonder.Never knowing, never seeing the internal chaos and outward rioting craziness that filled the days and nights, trying to suppress the void and make sense of the senseless emptiness that is living. They will never know, because by the time they have enter this world we have already moved on from our unsure footing to more stable ground, It will in turn be our job to try and teach them the rights and wrongs, and do our best to prevent them from making our same […]
– So, do you think the pilot crashed a plane with 150 people inside just because he didn’t want to live anymore?
– Maybe.
– But how can you live knowing that you are causing all that pain?
– That’s the point. You don’t. You die.
Break me down. Please. Disect me. Cut me open. Just tell me what’s wrong with me. I’ll give you all of the tools if you can just look inside. I’m down on my knees begging you to tell me what’s wrong with my mind. Why am I like this? Why do I want these horrible things? I don’t want to be your burden. But I wouldn’t mind being your little science project. I don’t want the drugs. I don’t want the alcohol. […]
Nothing’s fine. Never. But the worse thing is not seeing people. I don’t see people at work, and there’s only my mother at home.
Being all day alone is killing me. I try to call someone, just that I forget that other people actually have a life and won’t be available just because the world suddenly seems so hard to me.
I want a life too. I don’t want to spend the day with this sad me, thinking about how nothing is fine, stopping myself to call again, just swallowing the anxiety.
Uhm. Luckily I’ve got Fridays, when I’m with people for two hours, so I can […]
I am 17 and have been suicidal from the age of 11. And I am just going to say that all of you need to stay strong. No matter what happends either talk to someone about it or just try to forget about it. I‘ve tried commiting suicide 4 times.
And to be honest I am tired too, I want to kill myself every day. I might have friends but they have enough of problems without even dealing with me. My boyfriend barely talks to me anymore after I told him about everything.
My parents don’t give a shit about me and my siblings have enough of problems.
I […]
I don’t know why I’m posting. I guess because I can’t share this with anyone else. But I have 4 more days to go. I’m both at peace and afraid. I’m afraid I’ll fail. I can think of nothing worse than failing. My method I hope is as foolproof as anything can be but then nothing is ever 100%. My plan is meticulous. But once it starts I cannot stop. Even best laid plans may be interrupted though and as long as I haven’t started I can delay it. I hope I don’t need to though.
I want so much to go through with it. I […]
So my mum is learning to drive (yeah, kinda late). Instead of feeling proud, I can only think that she will have an accident as soon as she gets the license.
Today a plane departing from Barcelona to Germany crashed… I knew that the odds of someone that I know being in the plane were minimal, but I’ve been all the day thinking about my friends living in Germany. What if they came home this weekend and they were in the plane going back there?
What if my sister kills herself? What if I walk the dogs and they eat something poisoned? What if that person, or […]
Things like these are always hard to type aren’t they? Or maybe I’m just awkward, heh.
My name is Daniel, but I tend to go by Danny. I’m 17 years old about to turn 18 in May but I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t want to keep living. Why? That’ s a hard question to answer and I don’t want to bore you with stories but I’ve become really tired. Many think that 17 years isn’t long at all but in my eyes it’s like a century, not that I’m calling people older than me ridiculously old but that’s just how I feel , ya know?
I’ve […]
My phone rings and I know it’s him. I don’t want to answer, but if I don’t, he will keep calling.
“What?” I snap as I Put the phone to my ear.
“I miss you,” he whispers and I can tell he’s crying.
I don’t fucking love you. I stayed with you because you made me feel like I owed you that. I stayed because you made me feel like a dog.
But do I tell him that? Of course not.
“Leave me alone. Give up,” I say in something close to a growl.
He refuses. He won’t give up. I hate him. I can’t stand the […]
Going to use one of those industrial strength zip ties on my hands next time, so even if I want to I won’t be able to save myself.
I am so fucked up.
I’ve hesitated putting anything on here for a couple of days, because I don’t have anything to say anymore.
I wish I didn’t live with people, or at least with people who care so damn much. Checking up on me every hour.
If I was on my own I could spend my last day how I want to. And then the day could wind down to an end and I could just drift off.
So fucking bored […]
I lost my girlfriend Rebecca because I was an idiot. That is all I have ever been since I pushed her away. I hate myself everyday, I still make her cry and I don’t want to be here anymore. I love her to death but I just keep hurting her. I hate it. I hate myself. I can’t be here anymore and I don’t want to hurt her anymore. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I just want to make the world better and leave. I hate myself. I really do. Ever since then, everyone is leaving me, I have no friends, I have no […]