dear sp, i want to thank you, all of you, for saving my life. this episode has been a rough one, with closer calls than i care to think of. yea, life is still shit, and still not sure what all to do to fix it. however, i found a group of like minded people, with the same problems. how refreshing. all of your words touch the fabric of my being. i carry your pain and anguish as my own, as they are the same as mine. what amazing people i have found here. such talent. such wit.(kumbuyya moment folks, woo hoo) will we survive? […]
Im free most hours of the day and very attentive. If you ever want to talk, my email is misbahq93@gmail.com and my kik is HFSociopath (Im not actually a sociopath).
a man died and went to hell. after wandering around for a while, he ran across the devil. the man said ” ya know, devil, ive been here for awhile, and its really boring. do you have anything to do down here?” the devil looked at the man and said “why, of course we do. do you like to drink?” the man said “yes, yes i do like to drink”. the devil replied ” on mondays, we drink as much as we want,from dawn to dark, whatever flavor you want,beer, wine, whiskey.” the devil continued,” do you like to do drugs?” the man said ” […]
I feel like I’m just getting by with most things. I don’t want to “just get by” anymore but it feels so hard to do anything. It is a vicious cycle. I think I am doing better and I want to for a glimpse. But self doubt and self hatred consume me again. I’m bad at everything, nothing will come of me. Not that I want to be important! but I do have dreams. I just don’t see myself as someone strong enough to get there. I try and then, I don’t try. Again and again, every time a little less effort. I’m so tired.
If you want to attempt suicide you better be prepared for pain and/or failure. I have always thought if things go wrong and I feel really horrible I will be able to kill myself. Except that it’s not as easy as it seems. I had a chance today and it hurt too much. No matter how badly you may want to die the lizard part of your brain will do anything to survive. There is so much planning and research to do and even after all of that you will probably die a painful death or have to live with failure to try again another […]
Was life meant to be painful
I thought i was a precious gift from your parents
Its suppose to be joyful
Happy
Pure
Exciting
But its actually a living nightmare
I didn’t know i could despise people so much
Even the ones i love
Im letting them down
Including myself
I just want to get better
Thats all
I don’t want to fall in this massive abyss of sadness
But it feels like i’ve been tumbling
I want to change
But can i escape this depression?
this might be my last post in this website. I want to suicide today because I’m tiered of everything I tried to survive but I can’t NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME. I hate everyone I hate my parents , my self everyone. I just want to say thank you to everyone who tried to help me
I don’t want to live like this anymore.
I was always bullied because of my race. I never done anything about it and I never told anyone because I was afraid. Everyday in school I get racism, pushed and even physical damage. One day I told my parents but they never done anything about it. It’s like they don’t care or want me to settle it myself. I want to settle it myself but I’m too weak and I always think about how everyone thinks about me. Like how I look or how good am I at sports. I did try to settle it but I became emo at an early age when […]
Hiding. I don’t want to go to the movies with you. I don’t want to celebrate anyone’s birthday. No, I don’t want to visit with you. Please don’t come by. Please don’t ask to make plans with me. Please don’t call. I have nothing left to give any of you. I cannot be a friend at the moment. I’m exhausted by all of you. You remind me of who I was. Who I am presently not. I know you want to see me smile. I know […]
My life is more than fine, its actually great. I’m about to pay off all my student loans next year. I have a job that pays well with comprehensive benefits. My husband is amazing, and we grow closer every day. I have my own side business doing something I love. So, why can’t I seem to focus on the good?
Why am I so overcome by pain, sadness, emptiness, and fear that I can barely think about anything else besides the serenity of death? I just want to sleep, and sleep forever. I don’t want this life, and nothing in it seems worth waking up every morning for. […]
I’m so scared right now… I’m starting to get enough balls to actually commit suicide. 2 years ago I would never think I would cut myself, but I have. For the past two days I’ve been using a cord and putting it around my neck and choking myself. I take medication for depression but nothing seems to be working at all. I just want to die SOO bad. I feel like that’s what I am looking forward to. I feel like my boyfriend doesn’t want to talk to me anymore about this. I know I’m pushing him away… I just want to go.
It’s gotten so bad lately. Like, seriously, I’m doing worse in school and I’ve been so close to ending it 4 times in the past 2 months. I have it all planned, I can just never execute the plan. What am I suppose to do? Everything is getting worse, my friend might die from an illness and my other “friend” just causes me stress and makes it hard to not relapse. I already have but I’ve been clean since but it’s so hard to not relapse. I want it. But I don’t. I don’t want anymore scars, I don’t want to hurt. Sometimes I feel […]
Why am I still alive?! I’ve been drinking antifreeze for the past two weeks! Believe me, enough of it to kill 6 adults. Why am I just falling asleep like it’s nyquil?!!! What the fuck?! I don’t believe in religion, I don’t want to talk about it, and don’t offer me help. I know life is suffering and I’m trying to fucking leave! Why can’t I get out?! I’m just here killing time.
Ive have had suicidal thoughts for as long as i can remember but this time I’m really scared they are stronger and worst this time i try to think of another solution but it always ends up at just end it all. Everyone has something against me. They all blame me the people that i value so much are the ones who have hurt me the most i don’t want to tell them anything about my thoughts because i know they will feel sorry or call me even more stuff. I have someone who I’m currently dating i feel like he just stayed with […]
i don’t know where to begin. I’ve been suicidal for about a year now.
I am a Christian
Let me tell you why I decided to add the previous statement to my post. Yes, as a Christian I do believe in heaven and hell. And I believe that after all I’ve done on this earth that is where I am being sent.
That’s why I’m still here. I’m afraid of what I believe awaits me in the afterlife, so I haven’t killed myself yet. I don’t want to experience hell. Trust me if I for sure knew I was going to paradise after I cut the switch I […]
So, someone wrote a post about “Window Shopping” the other day, and it got me thinking. I had this track I recorded lying around and decided to speak some words to it. Thanks for the inspiration! It’s a rough cut, but it helped me through the moment.
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/Window-Shopping.m4a
I am supposed to choose something
Anything, just not nothing
But I prefer the window-shopping
I get too overwhelmed by the options
It isn’t just tradeoffs, or give and take
There is so much more at stake
Pick what you want, but it might break
Then pay in time and tears for your fate
Imagine it’s a bomb that I’m meant to defuse
And I have to […]
i was gonna do it weeks ago. but something, someone stopped me, canceled out the pain, but now, they’re all i can think about and if im not thinking about them im struck down by stomachaches to the point of nausea, of crying. i know i will never see them again. they dont even know my name. i want to do it, but im just so confused rn idk like i just dont know
I’m sorry it’s a tad long but please read?
So I managed to stumble across ‘Borderline Personality Disorder’ roughly five days ago, and, although I vaguely knew what it was, I wasn’t entirely sure. As curiosity would have it, I looked up the definition and symptoms. And after reading the list on multiple sites, I’m beginning to feel like something like this may be what’s wrong with me.
Now I hate it when people self-diagnose, and this is pretty much the same as that, but I am genuinely concerned yet don’t want to self-diagnose. For one, I don’t want to have a mental illness (the hospital tried […]
I have tried suicide so many times and ended up in hospital, but all i want is for the pain to stop, my ex boyfriend to leave me alone, he is the reason i’m in this mess, killing my baby and beating me up, breaking my bones and my heart. scars and nightmares is all i have now, and i just want to be better and feel better but i cant. he turns up and beats 50 shades of shit out of me, and all i can do is smile and pretend nothing is going on. when i feel like i need to tell someone […]