I am 20, almost 21. I have attempted suicide 7 times in my life, from the time I was 7 on. I don’t like human instinct, my body seems to find the right way to stop me from dying or someone that I love shows up and stops. I am supposed to be a business owner for a company my boyfriend wanted to start, but everything is in my name and whenever something he does goes wrong he blames me and lashes out verbally at me. I have tried a bag and belt over my head, sleeping pills, antidepressants, anti anxiety. . . but it […]
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I’m sorry if my typing is bad. I been struggling with Learning Disability and Depression (I have anger issues to some degree). I might have some other problems I’m not aware of. I lack a lot of skills especially motor skills aren’t that good, I don’t have good memory which make me forget some things real easily, and I have very little vocabulary. Now down through Memory lane…
It started when I was about maybe 5 or 6 I was in a all special needs school. Everything was a blur then. (only thing I remember was I was athletic. I didn’t learn anything.
By first grade, I […]
I’m generally not one to post about my feelings and life goings-on here, but … I don’t know. I just feel the need, for whatever reason.
I’ve been feeling so … “blah,” lately. I wouldn’t call it a serious bout of depression by any means; I guess there are just a lot of things piling up and it has me down.
This is largely due to work. The past couple of months (and few days, honestly) have not been good. My employers seem to be doing everything in their power to piss me off, for whatever reason (one I can’t figure out considering I have been there for […]
I’m on Zoloft. I started when I went to the children’s part of the peninsula hospital. Is there something wrong with me? Is wanting to go back there bad? I was good for maybe a week after I left and now ever since then I’ve just wanted to go back. What else can I do. Life sucks even though any other person would love my life. Everyone talks about how perfect my life is and I’m just ‘acting’ sad and depressed for more attention. Just because my life seems perfect doesn’t mean it is. My life should be perfect. I have everything I need but […]
as u already know, i havent tried to contact anyone in ur family, nor am i planning to…i seriously considered doing this, but please believe me when i say there was no maliceficent intent whatsoever….and now that i realize how stupid this would be of me i swear to you i never will..i was just really concerned about u guys because i’ve read all your posts and u seem like such tourtured and sad ppl, and ppl such as yourselves, with all the great things about u, i really wanted the ppl that love u to know what ur going thru…..but that’s not my decision […]
My life story is crazy. There aren’t enough paragraphs to explain it all and I dont want to bore you with all of the details. I can tell you that Ive had two different therapists tell me that I needed to write a book because no one would believe all of it. The very short jist is a rough childhood, abuse, lots of anxiety and fear, bad relationships and much much more resulting in ptsd, depression and anxiety. I tried my damndest to overcome what I could and try to make a life for myself. I had a great job, great relationship, great income and […]
Well, I’m still here.
The last time I tried to do this it was so easy to get away and to be alone for hours, with no chance of anyone checking on me.
Woke up this morning, I didn’t eat because I didn’t want to. Nothing tastes right anymore. Had a shower, the warmth of the water felt nice. I forgot myself in the heat. I’d wait until she left, get the belt and go. Only she wanted me to go with her to visit relatives. After a shouting match she apologized to me and left.
Excellent, I’d been set back by half an hour, but that was […]
Ive thought about it long and hard! I have this plan running away!! killing myself!! Should i? let me explain!
Age 9-I was taken away from my dad and moved to Ohio
House 1- My mom sister(Aunt) It was horrid..My cousin took a knife to my throut and i got beat for it, that was the last day i was there.
House 2- was my other aunts house and we got in a huge fight and she moved out.. we sleft on the floor all through christmas and for my 10 birthday
House 3- An apartment with just me and my mom, i was left home alot, she worked […]
I told my father how I felt, everything that I felt and he got mad at me, he called me names, he yelled, and then he left. A few moments later he came back to tell me that I was a waste of space, and I told him that I didn’t care what he said because I was going to kill myself that day anyway.
After I yelled that while everyone else in my family was listening, I ran. I ran because I knew my mother, my sister and my brother would try to stop me from doing that. I hid, but was found moments […]
I am a 16 year old boy and have been suffering depression for the past 4 years and still on going. I’ve had problems with my brother and parents, my friends and my faith, and lastly myself. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I have complied with my parents and doctors rules and still nothing. I’m totally lost right now. I have attempted suicide many times but have failed in the process and I have been confined in the psychiatric unit twice already, but nothing still seems to have changed expect for the fact that my condition keeps getting worse and worse. I hate […]
As a teen…I never did drugs, slept around or smoke on corners. I never got bad grades, lied to my parents or did anything to make my parents feel ashamed of me …yet I was disowned by my alcoholic father.
Entering my 20’s I was still dating my 1st bf I had met after finishing school… I never cheated , I never dressed inappropriately or did anything to make him insecure or over- possesive…yet the relationship became abusive…mentally, emotionally… and near the end physically.
When I fell pregnant at 21, I freaked out. It hit me that I did not want to spend the rest of […]
I’ve always had mental health problems since I first started school. History of substance abuse and violence at home. Being bullied at school and in social settings. I became a loner and have little time for people in real world including my family who I never see now. I’m just sick of the superficial nature of our society and its obsession with money, power, status, image. It makes me sick…quite literally.
I don’t consider myself to be anti-social but that would certainly be a diagnosis of doctors if answering a questionaire. No doubt the solution to my disorder would be a high dose of petrochemical based […]
I want to die!
– But I kept thinking what my family would feel, I am looking for hints as to how they would accept my death. I dont want to be selfish and just kill myself without thinking of what other people whom I think, would not care or people who I wouldnt even have the slightest idea that would care would feel if I committed suicide. I am waiting for the right time that I think that nobody would ever care for me, then its alright to die. the funny thing is it never happens, everytime I have the urge to commit suicide, someone or […]
I have wanted to die for the past 9 years.
I have been cutting for the past 5 years.
Every single days for those past 9 years I have thought about disappearing , running away or just giving up and ending it all. I spent those days thinking how amazing it would be if i could fall asleep a night and never wake up the next morning.
I’ll be turning 21 in two weeks.
Every year for the past 5 years, when i blew out the candles i wished for my life to stop.
Nothing has changed. It’s like life has just been at a standstill.
I still want to die.
Today in 4th period I was fine, then all of a sudden I started getting really antsy and I got really nervous. I have no clue why, I asked my teacher if I could go to the nurse to take my medication (I don’t take medication) and she asked me if that’s where I was really going, obviously I said yes. But I went walking around and tried to calm myself, but instead I got angry. I started punching the walls and I started punching myself, I have no clue why. So for 45 mins I went walking, then I went back to class and […]
Hi, my name is Melissa. I’m very new to this, I just wanted to share some stuff about my life.
Ever since I was little my mom and dad always had problems so, they’d fight a whole lot and my mom would kick my dad out of the house. My mom would kick my dad out of the house, because he’d always be drinking, and they were always fighting with eachother. I remember hearing my mom cry outside at 3 in the morning, my dad going outside and asking what was wrong when he was the problem.
I would get depressed, because my dad was […]
This is my final year if highschool. I have no will to continue going to school, it makes me miserable. I have no will to continue working. I am payed well for my age, $14hr is great money for a highschooler, but I haven’t been able to enjoy it. I feel myself spiriling into another bout. This happens every month. My job is physical, fast paced and stressful. At times, I feel my body and mind trying to shut down on me. I’ve wanted to just give up, lay on the floor and cry at work many times. I should be happy to […]
So, I am very new to this, but I have read a lot of these. My life doesn’t seem to make a blip on the radar of all the other people out there who struggle. But, no matter how small I feel about these things, they still hurt. I mean, I am so depressed that I don’t want to move, I don’t want to think, and most days, I don’t even want to be alive. I used to write stories, and poems, and even used to keep a journal updated daily, but lately, I haven’t wanted to do anything. My parents say that all of this is my fault, […]
The world can be changed in a fort night by a person with a strong conviction to do so.
where does one find the strength, i wonder, to be the arbiter of their own fate, and still find
the means nessacary to empart their brand of wisdom on humanity
I understand now that I never had a chance against these convicted people, because I
flock to folly, I just cant stand against the tide of human emotion,its all just to fucking much to feel.
I am a runaway in my own skin, I am making a concious and concerted effort to check out, I just don’t […]
Nothing is as it seems. And it never will Life is only pain. Death is peace
written by Born-In-TH3-WRonG-C3NtUry
First I want to say that I am New to this site. Due to my search of painless suicide on Google. Also Im not writing this to get help or even expect anyone to actually read my nonsense. Im just tired and venting my pain. Because I hope to End my life soon. I dont want pity. I dont want people to worry about my children. they will go to my brother which I am going to have stated my my suicide note. Ive actually attempted 6 times since I was 13. which was my first attempt. Now I am going to apologize got grammar […]