It has come to my attention that my disease is never going away. It is incurable. I’ve recently talked to a woman that is now 83, who has been on pills for this since she was 18. I’m 16. Never again can i spend the night, spur of the moment. If i miss too many pills they tell me my body will go into shock. That’s nice. I’m worried about my future, can i even have a child? I’ve researched that it may be complicated, depending. I have a higher chance for getting cancer. I have a chance of going blind. All these nice little […]
Tag:
why?
Why is life so unfair? I’ll never understand. I’ll never understand why people can be so cruel, why people die, why we cant be happy. We are in a world where people actually want to die. But not for selfish reasons, not really. We just want the pain to end. And people dont get that. Many times Ive dreamt about ways to die. My friend says its “a cry for help.” But when I was doing it I didnt care about wanting to be saved. I just wanted it to end, it meaning the pain, the depression, the sadness. I didnt mean to fail those […]
We all seem to share one thing… The question, why do we want to die, why are we alive, why do we feel this way? I can only speak for myself we are all very different. I just turned 18 and have a world of opportunity. I’m considered pretty and envied by others and I’m off to a great school for fashion merchandising, my passion, at the end of August. I have best friends and a boyfriend. It all sounds perfect right? Wrong. I constantly wake up wondering why I woke up. Sometimes I lay and stare at the ceiling and feel like a hole […]
why do we create a word that doesn’t exist? I mean right here, at earth perfection doesn’t exist theres nothing, no one and no where…
theres no perfect
only god
why do we invent that word?
“sorry for my bad english i’m from chile)
Why does the world hurt?
I look upon others, and I see all the hurt
I tell myself that it’s gone; but that is an outrageous lie
Why are they still hurting; I ask myself.
My parental instincts go forth to thee;
And I try to protect those that hurt by feeling their pain for them;
but if anything they writhe in agony more.
Why do people have to hurt other people?!
Why do adults hurt children? Why do adults hurt adults?!
Why do some not have morals in their lives…
I read all of the pain and suffering
I read of all the murders and crime. I hear of all the struggles.
I cry and pray. […]
Would they miss me if I left forever?
Why don’t they care?
Why do they laugh at me?
Why do they judge me?
Why does my past define me?
Why can’t I look past these scars?
Why do I cut?
Why don’t I belong?
Why can’t I be loved?
Why isn’t anyone stopping me?
Why am I still here?
I don’t wanna wait anymore.
right now as i write this im crying tears, and i dont know why. I want to tell my mom that i cut and that i am slowly falling apart, but if i do how will i be the strong perfect big sister and daughter that everyone thinks i am? I love my sisters with all of my heart, but.im going to break soon, and i dont want them to see it. I also dont want to call someone or some organization, because i know that i will probabaly just get put on hold. But i guess thats life? That brings me to a new […]
So like an hour ago, I got a visit from 2 of my best friends here in Oxford.
One of them is a girl. Another is a boy, which if you read my last post, my crush.
I told them, I was drunk while I was in the State, I know I promise them not to get drunk again after that night in Oxford. They were pretty mad, which of course, they have absolutely right to, I deserve that.
They began to preaching me about being depress, choice to get drunk blah blah blah
And then they asked, why I have to be depress? when has this begin?
You know […]
Quit Worrying About How You Look, it’s About Whats On The Inside!
i don’t care who you are. your beautiful and amazing in your own unique and special way, please don’t let what he/she says make you stop believing that. the people who hurt you most are the ones who usually are the closest to you…but don’t beat yourself up, and depress yourself with it, because they may have called you ugly. stupid. fat. etc..but only you can believe them..only you can take it to heart. only you can take it as far as it gets. You, are Your Biggest Enemy. free yourself from mental slavery, […]
I’m only 14, and I’m brand new to the local public high school. I just came from a Catiolic school. Its the 4th week and I have already herd people calling me a whore, I have no clue why. But it kills me. I’ve never had sex, I dont flirt with guys, and I’ve only kissed one guy. I got called a cum dumpster in front of the whole class. They all laughed. My brother has gone to that school for 3 years and tells me how I’m a whore. So I can’t even get away from the names at home. I’m also abused my […]
WHO CARES I DON’T UNDERSTAND!
Why do I come to this God damn website searching for a little hope? Why do I do this to myself? Why can’t I just be happy what is the fucking point? Why can’t I just move on with my life. I care. I care so much. But do they care? Do my friends and family really care? Does my boyfriend really care? Or is this some fucking pity thing? HA. My boyfriend. What a wonderful guy. He’s so up fucking beat, and I am so off beat. What is wrong with me? It seems almost as if I can […]
I try so hard..
But it’s never enough.
Nothing is ever enough. Not for him, not for her, for them, for me..
With each day that passes I feel like I am slipping away more and more. I just want to be happy.
You know it’s funny, I once got a fortune cookie and it told me
“If you want the rainbow, you must tolerate the rain.”
But now I can’t help but wonder. How long will it keep raining, you know?
1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5.. 6.. 7 gone.
Suicides, murders, overdose, AIDS.
It’s not fair, why them?
Then dad was never […]
Why do I feel like this.
One minute I’m crying wanting to kill myself.
Then the next I’m calm and not thinking about anything.
I don’t have any purpose. I am not cared for, or serve any importance. I’m fucked up. I think I’m going to do it.
I’m going to finally finish what I started,
and kill myself.
i was not cut out for this world. i dont know where to start so i wont im sure you have all heard it before anyway. does it ever get easier to accept? im such a coward because i know i can do it i know i can cut open a vein or suffocate myself with coal its fast its easy but im so afraid that if i back out half way then what? walk around explaing the scars or brain damaged from the fumes of the coal? does this mean i still have a sparkle of fight in me? todat i tried hard to […]
What’s up guys,
I want to reach out to you all. I recently discovered this blog and it’s been an amazing experience reading so many people’s stories. I want to hear more. It’s kind of keeping me going right now. I guess the question I have for everybody is why can’t we do it? Why can’t we take that extra step? What is holding you all back personally? I have failed multiple times in the past six months and I just can’t bring myself to do it just yet. That is why I’m reaching out to you all. I want to make sense of it […]
umm hey my name is sasha … && i think im going through depression right now … Im 15 years old … And i think it all started when i was 13 years old and my mom took me away from my country peru to move into USA where my brothers lived. ( i think she mostly moved because of this dude she me and that she though she was gonna marry him ) so i left my father with cancer and i blame myself for this . After i turned 15 … On march 29th my father passed away . He was a really […]
You’re right that life isn’t fair. Because people are self-absorbed, yes. Because people are selfish, yes. We’re born into a world that we know, as soon as we become enough aware we know, we have to leave sooner or later.
And we spend that time trying to fill it with as many positive experiences as possible. That’s all we really want, isn’t it? Our day in the sun?
Well, we didn’t make the sun. I’m not religious, but I’m sure as hell we didn’t make the sun. Or the ocean. Or the mountains. Or the sky. You’re right; you didn’t choose to come into the world. You […]
My name is Madie…I’m a young girl, still in school, and I get bullied very badly…I get very good grades, so I’m a nerd…I cut myself, so I’m “emo”…I asked for help, so I’m a snitch…I stopped eating because people were calling me fat…Now…It’s so bad that I FAKE being sick so I don’t have to go to school…I stay in my room all day…My parents hate that…What they don’t know is that I’m usually getting help on my suicidal thoughts or just doing the weeks homework or writing down my true feelings…sounds SO cheesy…”writing down your true feelngs” But…when you’re like me and don’t […]
Why did i have to be born?!?! All i do is ruin peoples lives and they ruin mine in return. Why is the world like this? Why are people like this?!?! So cruel, so unforgiving, so horrible. This world is better without me. People will have less problems without me. I cant take it anymore. Im getting closer to killing myself than ever before. My life is hopeless. Why cant i just die already!?!
-End(my life)