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Follow Your Dreams or Follow Your Heart?

by shatteredhopes 3/31/2014

written by shatteredhopes

In this situation in particular,
do I choose to follow my dreams or to follow my heart?
How do I know which will work out?

Do I follow my dreams and risk it all?
Or, do I follow my heart and end it all?

They both may seem so simplistic, of that I’m sure,
but they are burning me to the core.
Why must my endeavors of thisÂ be so intricate,
when there are no plans and no times set?

My dreams are supposed to balance my internal torment,
but my choices cause nothing but my mere discontent.

All the things I once cared about are now obsolete,
and though […]

3/31/2014 1 comment

instability

by clevername 3/31/2014

written by clevername

i’m feeling very unstable today. I don’t really know how to describe it. It’s like anxiety i guess, but without the active intensity part. I don’t feel “nervous” or “frightened” or anything like that… just very lethargic and scattered… like oppressively lethargic, to the point where i’d struggle to do anything physical at all. I should cut the grass, but i feel so… “weak and powerless,” and completely disinclined, like i just don’t give a shit. I’ll probably go do it right after this, and it’ll probably suck as much as i remember… but that’s not what’s stopping me. I don’t mind doing it, but […]

3/31/2014 12 comments

My Long Story

by recovering_girl 3/31/2014

written by recovering_girl

I am 19 years old and I have an eating disorder.
Two weeks ago I was admitted to hospital for an overdose and for self-harm. My normal weight before the eating disorder was 73kgs but now I range between 59-62kg (which is on the brink of unhealthy for my height).
Between the ages of 8-12 I was continuously sexually abused and when I was 12 I was taken from my house by child protective services because of a FALSE allegation against one of the male family members in my family.

Since that night I was forced to live away from home. Luckily I was allowed to […]

3/31/2014 4 comments

by recovering_girl 3/31/2014

written by recovering_girl

I am 19 years old and I have an eating disorder.

Two weeks ago I was admitted to hospital for an overdose and for self-harm. My normal weight before the eating disorder was 73kgs but now I range between 59-62kg (which is on the brink of unhealthy for my height).

Between the ages of 8-12 I was continuously sexually abused and when I was 12 I was taken from my house by child protective services because of a FALSE allegation against one of the male family members in my family.

Since that night I was forced to live away from home. Luckily I was allowed to lie with […]

3/31/2014 1 comment

Last nite

by karenation 3/30/2014

written by karenation

Last nite I was so upset, i was more thanÂ ready to kill myself. Instead of hurting myself, I decided to just wait another day. I went to sleep.

when I woke up, I was still upset, but I had calmed down. I just wanted to stay in bed all day but I couldnt, I had to go to work. I’m suicidal most days, but when it comes to work, Im too fucking responsible.

Right now I’m just as upset as yesterday, but I’m just going to sleep hoping that tomorrow is less annoying

3/30/2014 3 comments

what the fucking fuck?

by Kallian 3/30/2014

written by Kallian

Why the FUCK can’t my ex leave me alone? I check my cell after work to see if my mom called, and saw a voicemail. Naturally I thought it was my mom, calling to tell me that she was already there, waiting to pick me up. Nope. It was fucking Alex. This time he kept how he loved me, and he’s sorry for leaving me when I was ready to kill myself that night, and how he’s sorry for calling me a ***** ass ****. Then he started saying he loved me, and how it’s hard for him, and how he thought he should apologize […]

3/30/2014 29 comments

â€œSelf-improvement is masturbation. Now, self-destruction…â€

by Gilspace 3/29/2014

written by Gilspace

just gonna wait and see for now and while i’m at it i’ll “work” a bit

3/29/2014 5 comments

by wanttosleep 3/29/2014

written by wanttosleep

So I’m not ready to die yet, but I don’t feel much like dealing with life all the time. I just want to sleep all my free time away. I hate weekends, too much time to think. But my sleep cycle is completely normal, sadly (haha).
So I’ve been thinking of taking sleep aids to just force myself to sleep all day. I just want to eat and go back to bed on days I don’t have work or school. Breaks are unbearable… Somedays I can see friends, but not always, and being by myself just makes me think too much and I can’t stop […]

3/29/2014 4 comments

Rinse, wash, repeat.

by spaceman nik 3/26/2014

written by spaceman nik

http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/tmp_02-the_front_bottoms-maps-2076840222.mp3 Every day is the same repetition of mundane tasks at work and the same panic and emptiness waiting in the background until I am alone with my thoughts. I’m out of friends, out of dreams, and out of hope. My motivation is so non-existent that I can’t even go through with my plans for suicide. It’s too much work to write the notes and find a place and get everything in order first. Last time I was spontaneous and tried all I got was a sore neck and face full of mud. The only thing I look forward to anymore is getting so […]

3/26/2014 2 comments

I’m going to try to kill myself tomorrow

by ahannah123 3/24/2014

written by ahannah123

I have 480 pills (24,000 MG ofÂ diphenhydramine HCL) should be enough to kill someone who is over 100 pounds.I’m only 85-88 pounds so this might actually work.My birthday is on Wednesday I’m 14 right now.I’m not sure what I want anymore sometimes I really want to die,but other times I’m not sure.I feel so lonely right now and I don’t really have any plans for the future either.No one really talks to me.I had thisÂ counselor I met once a week but since my ‘medicaid’ got cancelled I can’t talk to her and no one else seems to care.My grades kinda suck and I have no […]

3/24/2014 14 comments

I need help…

by huddy 3/24/2014

written by huddy

I suffer from depression… I am allways lonely… I have no reason to feel the way I do but I can’t help it…. I have one friend that I can call a true friend, the rest of the people in my life don’t know me but they call me their friend… They don’t know how I constantly feel… When I wake up I think about ways I would like to die…

When I’m working sometimes I think about ways I could die at work in a “freak accident” I’m hooked on drugs and have become an alcoholic I’m just barely making it by in life just […]

3/24/2014 3 comments

for fuck’s sake

by Kallian 3/24/2014

written by Kallian

just want to be left alone. Just want people to stop coming up to me, stop giving me attitude. I just want to go to bed.

3/24/2014 1 comment

Logical conclusion?

by tbd 3/21/2014

written by tbd

It’s odd, but in reading about the middle-aged men topping the suicide statistics in the US and UK, I have fewer reservations. In reading about suicide prevention and the loss loved ones experienced, i’m not deterred, although the formula that suicide seems viable when emotional pain exceeds coping mechanisms makes sense, it doesn’t seem to fully cover it.

I know there are times when we’re overwhelmed, but today I feel clearer in my head than most (last night’s old Ambien?), and it just seems like a viable course to pursue. I may be kidding myself, but it seems like logistics are the bigger issue.

For […]

3/21/2014 2 comments

iv givin up..

by Honey_bee00 3/20/2014

written by Honey_bee00

i tired of trying to make things work when you dont even try anymore.
ill iv done is cry
go to sleep sad
and wake up the same way
iv givin up
im tired
youv only left me with a broken heart and i dont see why im with you still.

3/20/2014 17 comments

Thanks guys.

by Kallian 3/20/2014

written by Kallian

I just wanted to say thanks, for every one who wanted to help me on here. I’m sorry it was all in vain though. I’m not completely set on the idea quite yet, but if you don’t hear from me, it’s because I’ve killed myself. Hopefully tonight. Maybe I’ll take a bath, cut my arms, take every pill in the house, and put a belt really tight around my neck and somehow strangle myself. Think that’ll work?

3/20/2014 5 comments

The wall

by whereareyouolga 3/19/2014

written by whereareyouolga

Where do you find the strength to go through the day? Do you work/go to school, clean your house, walk your dog and so on? Over the last 2 years I have been running between school and work and just 2 weeks ago I all the sudden decided to not get out of bed. I called my boss that I had enough and got one week of sick leave. I quit school and now I’m just lying here feeling beaten to death. I have been depressed since my teen years and thought it couldn’t get worse. But that was nothing compared to this. No strength […]

3/19/2014 5 comments

One Day…

by CrimsonDream 3/18/2014

written by CrimsonDream

One day in the middle of class

while everyone was working,

my eyes filled with tears

because I knew

they were thinking about

their work

or friends

or after school

but all I could think of

was how much I’d rather

be at the top of a building

about to jump

3/18/2014 0 comment

“more equal than others” G.O

by freedomseeker 3/17/2014

written by freedomseeker

I made a mistake today. I’ve made a lot of mistakes. Today was just another one, an additional one. I had been getting closer and closer, further and further, and I reached it. Not entirely though, it was the beginning of the end. I stopped at the beginning. It would make Him unhappy, completely torn and deeply upset. I love Him. I do. But, sometimes I get frustated in my life. My whole life is filled with frustration, 2/3 of it.
I work, and work. Oh, and wait ! … I work. I go to the university, I go to work, I have to go […]

3/17/2014 14 comments

My Life So Far

by iliveinsidemyhead 3/17/2014

written by iliveinsidemyhead

Hey,

So this is my story of my Depression and search for help.

I live in London and when I made the transition to year 7 it was very hard for me as I’m not great at changes and my aunt died of cancer recently, so I started seeing the school councillor. So it was all going well and helping with the death of my aunt, but after about two year when I was in year 9 another of my aunts died this time it affected me hugely so my mood dropped, so with this I started self harming. So I kept up with the self harm. […]

3/17/2014 5 comments

Just Breathe

by smartie 3/17/2014

written by smartie

We are all put on the earth for something. Why give up now? Yes, your weak, you got fired, you hate your job, your significant other left you, your family doesnt listen to you, you get bullied, you arent good enough, etc…But does that mean give up? Today? Right now? No. You wake up with a positive attitude, Â say I am going to be strong if your weak, Put on your best outfit and find a job if you lost yours, Go to work and kill them with kindness if you hate it, say Fuck That ***** if your partner left you , if your […]

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3/17/2014 9 comments

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