..And sick fascination, glued to the screen of its descent. Binge watching the drama of your life unravelling, slowly, season by season. Gripping entertainment at its worst. No matter the warnings, ominous music threatening the hero’s demise, still you sit back with popcorn and watch it happen. Almost in a way, dysfunctionally, satisfied at the continuing destruction before you…”How much worse can it get? Ooo, lets tune in next week and see”. Somehow paralyzed, unable to gain access to the writer’s room and alter the narrative, however fully aware you know you own the studio, licensing and creative rights.. At least that’s how it feels […]
worst
In my dental assisting class my teacher is the worst person I have met .
When I get a answer wrong she tells me to hang my self . I have gotten so angry and have gotten a attitude with her . She’s dropped my grade so much .
What she says to me is so unprofessional . I want to be like you know my mom killed her self with a bottle of pills ? And do you know I’m suicidal ?
Allvthe girls in the class are mean to me too. They say things like how I look like a heroin addict .
That class just pisses […]
It all started with presenting my research paper . I couldn’t talk . And when I did I just sounded like I had no idea what I was talking about. I did so bad .
Then I took my dental assisting tests . I was so freaked out . I don’t even know why.
Then I went to the group interview . It was the stupidest fucking interview I’ve ever been to. You literally play games . And dance to music with randoms . I mean it was alright but still. All the staff members were annoying . I couldn’t stand any of them.
I fucked up on […]
Isn’t it ironic that those who should care the most are most times the driving force behind self harm and suicide?
They say the worst about you, plot for your failure and amongst all things, they lie , LIE , LIE!!!!
It has come to this point in which I am beginning to denounce them just as they have done to me.
It has reached to the point where if anything were to happen to them , I’d be unaffected. It wouldn’t break me.
How can people who profess Christianity act so contradictory and evil, yet call on God. For this reason, to me Christianity and God is an […]
Do you know what’s the worst thing about suicide?
It isn’t making the decision.
It isn’t buying the things you need.
It isn’t writing those letters to your loved ones.
It isn’t booking the hotel room, so your loves ones doesn’t find your body making it worse.
It’s not even the preparation: putting everything on the table, so you have everything in one place and you just need to sit down and start. Oh no.
The worst thing is when you plan everything, you do everything and 36 hours later you f_cking wake up looking like shit, pale, and you have to go home and pretend like nothing happened.
It’s not the […]
I posted on here a while ago asking for help with therapy. I wanted to ask why do people feel the way they do when you tell the truth about how you feel. Yes everything that everyone is going threw is sad, but if you really want help with it you have to be honest and tell the truth right. But then when you tell the truth you get nothing but negative reactions or people just blow you off. I compleatly understend now why everyone never really tells people there true feelings. Well not to people like there families. One of the worst part about […]
The worst type of crying wasn’t the kind everyone could see–the wailing on street corners, the tearing at clothes. No, the worst kind happened when your soul wept and no matter what you did, there was no way to comfort it. A section withered and became a scar on the part of your soul that survived. For people like us(“us” here includes me and all my lovely supporting friends at the suicideproject website) our souls contained more scar tissue than life.
Lastnight was a dark dark time for me, I had everything almost ready to end my life. Then I received an email from someone on here. In my worst time I had someone who actually cared and didn’t even know me. That email brought happiness and light back into me, and I opened my eyes for the first time – my life hasn’t been easy and I felt like it was the last hit I could take!
my brake up – she replaced me with another man – she left me for dead – this was my worst love and her pluge will only continue to […]
This just hit me.
Our worst method of self harm isnt cutting, or burning,
It is self sabotage.
Atleast thats the way with me.
Worst part , i still have that lingering hope.
And the fact that i am sabotaging myself, while still having that little hope, is tougher.
Suicide is tougher cus i still wanna live.
But my motivation for suicide are ever growing,
1. People hate me , and i hate most of them.
2. The ones i do love, dont love me back
3. My parents only love me cus they are biologically engineered to do so
4. Future is bleak and getting […]
Getting drunk again.. What a surprise.. I should be ashamed. Im a mess. Im a complete dumb ass. Im Pathetic. And worst of all im alive.
So welcoming with everyone with my first post i think i need to describe my problem-in order to pacify myself. Nobody has ideal life, mine wasn’t the worst, the best neither. Quarrels of father antagonised by his family against his wife and children, constant visits to doctors because of my illness, a sort of overprotectiveness of my mother, postponed socialisation with my peers – all this stuff caused that I have always felt alienated from others. This, plus that I have learnt a bit better than others, resulted in episodes of bullying, on which i reacted with aggresion, so tension have grown over time. I […]
Everyone often asks who the worst person to lose is. The answers vary, mostly dependent on your age. Usually it’s either a family member. Your mum, or dad, or some other person of blood relation. As you get older it would change to maybe a friend. And then to a significant other. Those are the three answers everyone gives. But I think the worst person to lose is yourself. You are the only one who truly knows yourself, you know everything, the ins and outs. What makes you tick, what the only thing is that can make you happy sometimes. You control who knows what […]
I’ve been thinking about suicide since I was 13 years old. That was a long time ago.
This morning I woke up alone in my house, with this urge to end it all even stronger than before, but I know I’m not gonna do it, because I’m a coward, because I’m afraid, because I don’t want more suffering. I know that if I try something I’m gonna fail and gonna be in a worst physical state. I have this horrible pain in my arms, I don’t know what it is, but the stress and the depression make it worse.
I checked Facebook and I found all this […]
Hollow smiles and empty days
Fading light and lonely nights
A struggle to find what’s been lost
A fight that never ends
Watching time slip away
I’m just trying for one reason right now, but I already fucked everything up in my life. Symptoms are getting worse, and the worst time of the year is coming up again. Fun.
Stupid idiot
Hi I’m celina, I am 14 years old, and I have a problem And I think I need help. It all started four years ago ,I was 11 at that time in 6th grade. In the mid way of the school year ending, I thought about cutting . I thought it would be a very odd for some one to cut them self , and I want to know why and how does it feel and what do you use? All question in my head so I did at least try it. I used a pin and well no blood just a white line , […]
I can’t take it anymore. I’m all alone all the time. I have no friends. Even my parents are against me. I can’t talk to anyone, but I yearn so much for a bit of understanding. My parents have abused me since I was little. They made fun of my looks, my behaviour, my friends (I had few when I was younger) and the things I liked even though I tried to be the perfect daughter. I stopped liking the things they didn’t like, I kept my room clean most of the time, I learned to get only A’s in school, I was polite to […]
I’m alive again, so damned alive I’m crying. It’s so funny how I laughed when I felt my worst, and now I’m crying. When she’s talking to me again. She doesn’t hate me. She’s okay with talking to me. I can fix everything I ever did. I’m not alone anymore. This is incoherent, and maybe it should be. I’m high on life and happiness right now, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thank God for Sammi, without her I never could have done this. Thank You, Hazy. Thank You, Rocketman. Thank You, Trix. Thank You, SeeSmith. Thank you all for being […]
Hi everyone. 🙂
The short version of this is I might not be on SP as much in the future. The longer version is just a vent about everything that’s been going on lately.
It seems surreal to me that only a couple of months ago I was texting a friend to say I thought I was starting to recover from depression. I’ve said it twice in the last five to six years. Things started to get worse again this time when my ME/CFS got worse. That seems to be improving now, although it’s been up and down lately, but the depression is still going downhill.
I cut […]
My first time taking it was really recently. DAMN THAT STUFF IS AWESOME! Sure, it has fucked up side effects, but those are things for people who want to live to worry about, not me. Still suicidal, but at least now I see things the way they are:
I am meant to die as a lone wolf
I’ve tried acting ”normal” for far too long, and it’s time to be myself
I’m aggressive by nature. Spent far too much time pacify myself.
Suicide is the only happy ending I will be able to get, and I do not fear death anymore
Society is nothing but a bunch of half-retarded sheep […]
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